Glenn Beck’s Crazy Church Rant

This video is a perfect little two minute primer on Glenn Beck. The empty emotionalism, the utterly irrational claims of connections between things, the flat-out lies about a subject, the bizarre non-sequiturs (“if I can go and have sex and there’s no consequence, I’m a slave” — What?), it’s all there. This was at Skyline Church in San Diego:


  1. harold says

    if I can go and have sex and there’s no consequence, I’m a slave

    Is there ever anything more to post-modern authoritarianism than creeps with some kind of tormenting, repressed sexual desire trying, futilely, to force the entire world to never remind them of their tormenting obsession?

  2. raven says

    if I can go and have sex and there’s no consequence, I’m a slave.

    Suppose you have sex with a blow up doll. Are you then a slave of an inflatable toy?

    Oh, forget it. I don’t think I even want to know.

  3. TX_secular says

    So we need those in authority on the right to rule over us so that the lefties don’t turn us free so that in the end they can rule over us when we go off the rails? That is some primo, grade A logic being deployed…

  4. Who Knows? says

    I told a friend just the other day, I feel like I love my country. I love my country. And every day I get up, and I feel like I’m watching my child being choked to death. And no one will listen to me, and no one will come and help me. No one will stop it, and every day, I see it.

    I wonder how much he was paid to have all those people listen to him? I wonder how much he is paid every day to have people listen to him? I wonder how may people in his audience are actively working to bring about the United States he envisions?


  5. KG says

    What is the evil book that talks about destroying the family? – teawithbertrand

    Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
    10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
    10:36 And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household.
    10:37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

  6. slc1 says

    Re Ed Brayton @ #2

    Of course, the most assiduous readers and followers of that book are Karl Rove and the late an unlamented Lee Atwater.

  7. wordsmatter says

    The problem, of course, is the subtle change in meaning in several key phrases arising from the translation of Beck’s speech into English from its original German.

  8. Sili says

    Is it a “crazy church-rant” or a “crazy-church rant”?

    Amusingly, my ISP is named Skyline.

  9. marymallone says

    I would say he has a point when he criticizes the news cycle for focusing on frivilous things (and the apathetic audiences who support that cycle by watching it) rather than the “real dangers” facing America, but I’m assuming he isn’t referring to Obama’s constant use of the State Secrets Privilege.

    On an unrelated note, I always feel guilty about really making fun of Glenn Beck. I despise the way he manipulates emotions and encourages an almost dangerous irrationality by preying on ignorance and mongering fear, but a very small part of me always feels that he is not quite all there in the head, or that his mind is not quite functioning as it should, and I do have a touch of sympathy for that. If anyone would like to offer evidence that suggests Beck is perfectly sane and is merely manipulating for the sake of monetary gain, then do tell me so that I can make fun of him without guilt.

  10. Robofish says

    ^”a very small part of me always feels that he is not quite all there in the head…”
    A ‘small part of you’? Why so generous? He’s obviously nuts!

    Personally, I just rather wish he’d spell things out a little more, so we can see his craziness more clearly. I mean, who makes up this sinister force of leftists controlling America? How about giving us some names, Glenn, so we know who you want us to boycott? But he’s not going to do that, probably because it would reveal even uglier things about him that he’d rather keep hidden.

  11. frankb says

    What is this ‘family’ of which Glenn speaks? How does one destroy it and burn it to the ground? How does two people Glenn doesn’t know getting married affect Glenn in any way? How can the radical left stop men and women from marrying and having a family? Neither Glenn nor any other right wing nut can say. People had families before the Bible was made, right Glenn? How do you explain that Glenn? The Tide goes in, the tide goes out, you can’t explain that either, can you Glenn?

  12. suttkus says

    raven says:

    if I can go and have sex and there’s no consequence, I’m a slave.

    Suppose you have sex with a blow up doll. Are you then a slave of an inflatable toy?

    No, no, see, if you have sex with a blow up doll, then you are a slave of your own carnal desires. You have lost the ability to control yourself by giving into the need for sexual gratification. Similarly, you are a slave when you waste time eating, drinking, breathing, using a bathroom, or following any other urges. SLAVE! I will refuse and be free! FREEDOM!

  13. jimmiraybob says

    …if I can go and have sex and there’s no consequence…

    What planet is he imagining having sex on?

  14. Ichthyic says

    this is just the standard rhetorical tactic the right has been using for years:

    take what are essentially the criticisms the LEFT has of how the right has been fucking things up for generations, couch them in right-wing jargon, and then spit them back out as CRITICISMS OF THE LEFT.

    people only noticed for some reason when “swiftboating” became a meme, but they’ve been doing it successfully for decades now.

    Beck is laughable as a puppet of this.

  15. marymallone says

    Robofish, I don’t mean crazy in the colloquial sense. Maybe I am being too generous, too nice, too naive, or too kind, but there is a very small part of me that feels Glenn Beck would not be remiss were he to seek assistance from a mental health professional.

  16. featster says

    I don’t know, I really have to disagree with the comments re Beck’s sanity or lack thereof…I think he’s actually fairly rational (well, for a Mormon, anyway) and this schtick is just about making money, fleecing the rubes. Having watched Beck on CNN & Fox for a while and observing it, my impression, based on his overall affect and body language, was that he’s a very canny con artist.

  17. plutosdad says

    Yes the slavery means if you enjoy sex out of marriage then you have a dangerous addiction. Just like a heroin addiction, you are a slave to it. There is no middle ground, there is no way for someone to like sex without being addicted to it.

    But this magically goes away if you have sex only with someone of the opposite sex you are married to.

    I remember in the church we’d say “real freedom is the freedom to say no”

    This says a lot about the warped sexual frustration these people feel that truly believe this. If they think sex is so dangerous and addictive, they probably have some problem with it themselves.

  18. says

    Did you know that the exact words “punch Glenn Beck in the face” get over 5000 returns from Google?

    My brother. I’ve yet to ask him how he knew.

  19. birgerjohansson says

    “the bizarre non-sequiturs”

    Do they still publish “Zippy the Pinhead”? He had much better non-sequiturs than Beck.

  20. anubisprime says

    The most creepy part of this nonsense is that the fuckwit has followers and avid fans…that is scary!

    And does highlight quite incandescently the undoubted fact that the average IQ amongst his minions and obsequious crew must be dragging along the floor behind them!

  21. iknklast says

    While it’s possible Glenn Beck may be crazy (though I agree it’s more about manipulation), I don’t think we should give a pass to crazy people who are being listened to by large numbers of people, and have the opportunity to influence policy. This sort of “crazy” equals dangerous.

  22. dan4 says

    Outside of actually outlawing procreation (which I don’t believe literally one person on the left, past or present, has proposed) how exactly do you “destroy the family, burn it to the ground?”

  23. Ichthyic says

    really have to disagree with the comments re Beck’s sanity or lack thereof

    you might actually want to check his history sometime.

    you WILL change your opinion.

    I’d be surprised if he hasn’t been in therapy for years already.

  24. mosesmodel says

    What he means is that in order to have mostly consequence free sex, there must be a government infrastructure. In Beck’s mind, people who have consequential sex are freer than those who have regulated condoms and FDA approved drugs.

    That is my best guess anyways.


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