Obama Causes Heart Failure


The coroner’s report on Andrew Breitbart found that he died of heart failure. I wonder how Obama managed to cause that. And obviously, the coroner is in on the coverup. I demand to see his birth certificate immediately. I bet the Illuminati are behind the whole thing.

Comments

  1. LightningRose says

    The reich-wing-nuts should take this as a warning.

    Obama knows how to make their deaths look like a heart attack.

  2. Brownian says

    The reich-wing-nuts should take this as a warning.

    Obama knows how to make their deaths look like a heart attack.

    I’m sure that, like all conspiracy theorists, they know that the conspirators have the power to silence everybody but people with websites and loudmouths in bars.

    So, they’re safe while being in grave danger.

  3. d cwilson says

    Who know Breitbart had a heart to fail?

    \

    GRRR.

    Who knew Breitbart had a heart to fail?

    That alone is proof of a coverup. If the coroner said the Tin Woodsmen died of heart failure, you’d be suspicious, right?

  4. says

    I wonder how Obama managed to cause that.

    He’s obviously very powerful. I mean, look at what he did to Dick Cheney!

  5. Michael Heath says

    Nah, this wasn’t Obama’s doing. God killed Breitbart for not being conservative enough; God gave Andrew this wonderful opportunity to spread His Word and Breitbart was too much of a sissy boy to git ‘er done.

  6. says

    I wonder how Obama managed to cause that.

    Deathnote
    How to use it
    1. The human whose name is written in this notebook will die.
    2. The writer must have the victim’s face in his mind, therefore humans sharing the same name will not die.
    3. The cause of death must be written within 40 seconds of writing the name, otherwise the victim will simply die of a heart attack.

  7. says

    There’s no way Breitbart could have had heart problems. He spent each day being extremely angry, yelling at people, and wallowing in bottomless resentment. Isn’t that kind of exercise supposed to be good for your heart?

  8. Gregory in Seattle says

    Almost certainly, the Illuminati were behind this. But which faction? I’m inclined to say either the Adepts of Hermes: Shangri-La really isn’t into attacks to kill, and the Society of Assasins and Servants of Cthlulhu would have been much less subtle. It is known that Breitbart was a puppet of The Network.

    (Pulls out a blank card and begins to design a heart-attack ray….)

  9. says

    No, no, the death was ruled heart failure. Or it was “apparent heart failure”. Have you learned nothing from the Clinton Death List?

  10. jba55 says

    “Obama Causes Heart Failure”

    I’m not sure I can believe that. I mean sure, he’s a good looking guy, but he’s not…

    wait for it…
    drop dead gorgeous! Eh? Eh?
    /hides from vengeful mob

  11. cottonnero says

    It was Wile E. Coyote-style heart failure. Breitbart had no heart, but didn’t die from heart failure until he realized it. Much like gravity only kicked in for the Coyote when he noticed that he was no longer standing on the cliff edge.

  12. dan4 says

    @23: Oh, wonderful. Let the kooks come out. (From the link): “Why then was Breitbart’s skin bright red?” Because Andy was always angry and yelling at people, perhaps?

  13. llewelly says

    Andrew Breitbart found that he died of heart failure. I wonder how Obama managed to cause that.

    HAARP: Heart Attack Anti-Republican Program

  14. dingojack says

    Obama Causes Heart Failure“.

    The Surgeon General reports cutting back to one serving of Obama a week reduces the chance of congestive heart failure by over 25%.

    :) Dingo

  15. baal says

    Obama no longer needs the weirding module

    If he’s done with it, I’d like a turn.

    [tinfoil hat]

    The Rosicrucians direct the Illuminati. Never forget that.
    [/tinfoil hat]

  16. caseloweraz says

    “I wonder how Obama managed to cause that.”

    It must be one of those Kenyan tribal secrets — like pointing the bone.

  17. Uncle Glenny says

    “Why then was Breitbart’s skin bright red?”

    As was said, carbon monoxide does this (it binds to the hemoglobin instead of oxygen). Smoking is enough to fool hospital colorimeter-style oxygen saturation meters.

    Was Breitbart a smoker?

Trackbacks

Leave a Reply