Glenn Beck was on James Robison’s televangelist show recently and said all kinds of predictably crazy things. Like did you know that we’re all in bed with “absolute evil” and worshiping Baal, the allegedly evil deity from the Old Testament? I didn’t either.
Apr 16 2012
Beck: You’re All in Bed With Evil
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raven
April 16, 2012 at 12:45 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Well so what?
According to standard xian doctrine and even the LDS one, Baal the god doesn’t even exist. There is only one god, Yahweh and his schizophrenic parts, jesus and the holy ghost. Or just Yahweh for the Mormons, jesus being just a guy.
Worshipping an imaginary god should be equivalent to worshipping the Easter Bunny, Mickey Mouse, or Tinkerbell.
omnicrom
April 16, 2012 at 12:46 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Well I AM going to be excited to fight Ba’al in Super Robot Wars Z3, and I’m a huge fan of Baal, Bael, Baal Zebul, and Beelzebub in Shin Megami Tensei. I don’t think this is off topic either, I mean those video game characters are at least as real as Baal from the Bible.
Randomfactor
April 16, 2012 at 12:47 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I suspect all those fundies secretly suspect that Baal is real, and they might be hurt by his followers. Same thing with witchcraft.
But the Bible says Ba’al is real. That’s why the First Commandment exists in the first place.
tubi
April 16, 2012 at 12:48 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
It violates the first two commandments, right? Tinkerbell is a false idol.
They probaly also think it would violate the first two amendments, since Beck and his brain-addled ilk see those two lists as one and the same.
raven
April 16, 2012 at 12:48 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Not sure why any xian gives a hoot what Beck the Mormon says anyway.
According to most xians, the LDS church is a false church and they are all going to hell. This is the official position, often stated of the Southern Baptists among others.
raven
April 16, 2012 at 12:57 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Not sure you can be false and still be an idol.
The bible is rather incoherent about the other gods. The first half takes it as a fact that there are many gods, but they aren’t the god of Israel. Who really isn’t even all that powerful.
Then later on, the bible changes it’s story and claims that there is only one god and he is all powerful.
Then it invents Jesus and the Holy Ghost who are two more godlike beings and combines them all in a Trinity that no one is quite sure how it works.
As many scholars have pointed out, the god(s) of the bible have a complicated evolutionary history. Who knew even the gods evolve? LOL.
dingojack
April 16, 2012 at 12:58 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
If anyone is interested in Ba’al.
Actuality one can worship Tinkerbell (or anything else) -
after one worships the christian genocidal child-god.*
Dingo
—–
* See also Satanic Verses.
baal
April 16, 2012 at 1:02 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
As someone who posts under the moniker “baal”, I can say I’d welcome a definite sub-set if you all to my bed. I can’t promise it’d be evil and my wife might complain of the lack of space.
The wikipedia entry for Ba’al is pretty good. It nicely highlights how an honorific that means something like “lord” or “master” is conflated with god (or several gods – seems to have been more than one).
JT (Generic)
April 16, 2012 at 1:04 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I may be in bed with evil, but evil is good in bed.
tommykey
April 16, 2012 at 1:08 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Glenn Beck had a Baal movement!
Gregory in Seattle
April 16, 2012 at 1:10 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
@JT #9 – You remind me of the “nursery” rhyme:
There was a girl
With a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good
She was very, very good
And when she was bad
She was better.
busterggi
April 16, 2012 at 1:12 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I’d rather be in bed with Ishtar but Tinkerba’al is an interesting concept.
dingojack
April 16, 2012 at 1:12 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Baal – I don’t see your wife would complain about bed-crowding shouldn’t she be spending most of her time holding up the sky?
:) Dingo
Michael Heath
April 16, 2012 at 1:24 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Beck: You’re All in Bed With Evil
Am I “in bed with evil” because Baal exists and is evil? Or am I “in bed with evil” because I imagine a god in spite of having no evidence of its existence?
Akira MacKenzie
April 16, 2012 at 1:36 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Baal? Puh-lease! Everyone knows that Baal was captured and his Goa’uld symbiotie was executed by the Tokra!
Alverant
April 16, 2012 at 1:43 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
#15
Yes but he still has his clones out there and how can we be 100% sure that SoS (spawn of a slug) was the one that was executed?
Bronze Dog
April 16, 2012 at 1:46 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I didn’t watch the video, but I suspect his brain would turn somersaults if I told him that I don’t worship.
And no, there aren’t any words that got cut off after “worship.” I put a period there and I meant it.
Randomfactor
April 16, 2012 at 1:50 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Glenn Beck…has only got one Ba’al.
Limbaugh…has two but very small…
dingojack
April 16, 2012 at 1:52 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Micheal Heath – or even: “Am I in bed with evil, because I believe in the genocidal, petulant christian child-god who is evil by his own admission?
Dingo
shouldbeworking
April 16, 2012 at 1:52 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Will you people please stop stealing the blasted covers! And you with the cold feet! Go put some socks on!
richardelguru
April 16, 2012 at 1:52 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
@ 11
SEVERE NITPICK ALERT
That’s by (Ba’al help us) Longfellow of all people (though I like to call him Tallchap)
and it ends ‘She was horrid’ to rhyme with the earlier ‘forehead’ (once pronounced “forrid”, but alas no longer)
END SEVERE NITPICK ALERT
I'm_not
April 16, 2012 at 1:54 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I was in bed with evil but it turned out to be a complete Baal ache.
Zinc Avenger
April 16, 2012 at 1:58 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
The real question is, which of the Ba’al clones are we in bed with?
Or is it all of them?
Kinky.
Michael Heath
April 16, 2012 at 2:04 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
dingojack writes:
That’s the evil that Glen Beck imagines is in bed with him. So I guess we can conclude Beck’s criticism isn’t that we’re necessarily in bed with evil, but not his favored type of evil.
fifthdentist
April 16, 2012 at 2:06 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I’ve dated some women who were she-devils in the sheets; does that count?
dingojack
April 16, 2012 at 2:06 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Michael Heath – “… now we’re merely negotiating the price”.
:) Dingo
d cwilson
April 16, 2012 at 2:07 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Yeah well, Beck is in bed with Mammon
pilch62
April 16, 2012 at 2:13 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I have this mental image of Beck, stifled with a red Ba’al gag . . .
cjtotalbro
April 16, 2012 at 2:22 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
He looks so smart and well informed!
cptdoom
April 16, 2012 at 2:25 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
That reminds me of the logic course we had to take at my Catholic high school during Senior Year religion class. The priest teaching that part of the course was trying to use logic to prove the existence of God. He began with a pretty convincing line of reasoning – that everything which is in existence came from something else that existed – parents create children, supernovae create heavy elements, etc – and that things which do not exist cannot will themselves into existence. OK, good so far. That led to the conclusion that there must be at least one “Self-Existing Being,” or SEB, from which all other existence flows. Again, I could see that.
The next step was the question “Why is there only one SEB?” and the “logic” answer was:
And then he wanted to move on to the next step of the process. Let’s just say my friends and I were NOT convinced and pushed back quite a bit on this last part. I think what little faith I had in a God pretty much evaporated on that day.
jayarrrr
April 16, 2012 at 2:29 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I don’t know about “being in bed with EVIL”, but I sure wouldn’t mind being in bed with Naughty…
dingojack
April 16, 2012 at 2:35 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
cptdoom – “… and that things which do not exist cannot will themselves into existence”.
So why didn’t you go straight to: ‘And who created this SEB? And who created the SEB’s SEB? And who created the SEB’s SEB’s SEB …’
;) Dingo
OleanderTea, a really, truly gumpy bunny
April 16, 2012 at 2:37 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Wow. Must be a big bed.
I’m such a dork; I read this and thought, “Ooooh, Beck has a new album?”
*plays Odelay*
John Hinkle
April 16, 2012 at 2:46 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
When I see Beck in those glasses, I can’t help but think of Stewart parodying Beck. And then I can’t take anything Beck says seriously. Before that I could. Ha!
Crudely Wrott
April 16, 2012 at 3:01 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Say what, boy?
Not worshiping your Invisible Supernatural Spook is not the same as worshiping any other one.
Not worshiping is not worshiping anything; not motherfucking anything!!! Not needed, not wanted, not necessary. Fine without it.
Not thinking does have consequences and Beck is today’s poster child of wishful thinking and relegating personal responsibility to an unknown agent. Dumb. Probably dumbth or dumbest. Too bad he can’t sit down with Steve Allen anymore.
pHred
April 16, 2012 at 3:05 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
@21 But I am pretty sure that 11 was referencing Bugs Bunny’s version.
carollynn
April 16, 2012 at 3:15 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Ba’al is pronounced with a long A as bale ? Wow. The things you miss when you’re a nerdy kid who only reads the words and never hears them said aloud. No wonder he never showed up when we tried conjuring in Catholic high school during our occult phase. We were pronouncing his name wrong! That must have been the problem! Nothing to do with non-existence. Nothing at all.
interrobang
April 16, 2012 at 3:22 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
The last time I was in bed with Evil, we didn’t even have sex. (He wasn’t feeling well, poor dear.)
As near as I can tell, the name of the demon (or whatever it is) is derived from a pre-Hebrew (don’t remember which language it is now) word ba’al (בעל), which, as near as I can tell, means something like “master” or “owner.” The current Hebrew term for “animal” is “ba’al khayim,” which more or less translates as “owner of life,” or something.
Ooooh, scary.
dingojack
April 16, 2012 at 3:34 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Carollyn when you say ‘a as in bale’ do you mean:
/a/, /Œ/, /æ/, /ɑ/, /ɒ/ or /ɐ/? (See here for details).
(Sorry I spent much of earlier this evening getting nerdy with IPC.
:) Dingo
bahrfeldt
April 16, 2012 at 4:16 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Baal was not a god, not even in the world of make believe. Baal was the title given to the personification of any one of many cities in what is now roughly Israel, Jordan, Lebanon and areas of western Syria and southern Turkey. The Greek equivalent is Tyche. The Greek founded city of Antioch thus had a Tyche, the Philistine city of Tyre had its Baal. The local Baal (or Tyche) often appeared on the city’s coins.
The Biblical Beelzebub is only an ancient author’s derisive sarcasm, insulting the pagan worshipers of a rival city by calling their city the city of the flies (garbage, rot, death, shit, you get it).
The planting of the names of various pretend spirits from varied sources, mostly with new roles and traits, into the early Christian version of the Greek Hades is later post-biblical story telling.
carollynn
April 16, 2012 at 4:37 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
@ dingojack – er…. it’s been way too many years since I tried to figure out how those symbols matched what my tongue was doing.
Listen to the linked video – at 25/26 seconds Beck says “Ba’al” and it sounds to me phonetically like “beyl” or /beɪl/. My childhood “gosh I’ve only read this word” guess at how it was pronounced make it a more sheep-like “baaa-l” or /bɑ/ or “bah” with the l on the end.
I’m not saying Beck pronounced it incorrectly. I’m saying I (and probably the nuns I may have vaguely heard it from) did.
Area Man
April 16, 2012 at 5:10 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Glenn Beck: An object lesson in what decades of hardcore alcoholism followed by fundamentalist religion will do to your brain.
See also: George W. Bush.
dingojack
April 16, 2012 at 6:00 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
carollynn – buggered if I know. Unless we can use the ‘Obama Time-machine & Mind-ontrol Device’ (TM) I think we’ll never really know. Therefore, your guess is as good (at the very worse) as mine.
DIngo
Ichthyic
April 16, 2012 at 9:46 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
You’re All in Bed With Evil
Hasn’t anyone called Austin Powers yet?
bobcarroll
April 16, 2012 at 10:34 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Ref @11 and 21: I prefer the version given by 11( My mind hears it in Mae West’s voice.)
andrewlephong
April 17, 2012 at 2:21 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
@2:
You left out the best videogame Baal, the Lord of Destruction in Diablo II and the soon to be released Diablo III.
dingojack
April 17, 2012 at 10:04 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
“When I’m good, I’m very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better. ”
― Mae West.
Dingo