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Buffy the Demon Slayer?

Here’s a very disturbing story. The daughter of deranged lunatic Bob Larson and two of her friends apparently take part in “exorcisms” — aka abusing and berating very disturbed people who need genuine psychological help. And they’re apparently shopping a reality TV show.

While most people their age are studying for exams or getting their first jobs, a trio of girls in Arizona claim they’re helping people all around the country expel their dangerous demons — through exorcisms.

Brynne, Tess and Savannah work under Brynne’s father, Rev. Bob Larson, who claims to have performed thousands of exorcisms over the last 30 years, according to ABC News.

“We’re just normal girls who are doing something extraordinary for God,” Brynne told a slightly flabbergasted ABC reporter.

The young women book their clients through Larson, who claims that 50% of the population is probably affected by demons and believes that his protégés are the world’s first line of defense against Satan.

His girls, who have nicknamed different demons that they often see, say they “know how the enemy is.”

“There’s a war going on every day, being waged against us,” Brynne told ABC. “Satan hates us.”

And Larson says he’s fielding offers for reality shows about the girls. Larson would be a bad joke if not for the fact that people take him seriously. And give him money.

Comments

  1. Ellie says

    I believe Mr. Larson will tell you if you are demon afflicted, for only $9.95, although if he’s looking to do a reality show, his price may have gone up.

  2. Taz says

    Buffy, both the show and the character, were much more intelligent than this.

    Whoever gives these charlatans a reality show better be prepared to get their asses sued.

  3. unbound says

    @Taz – I don’t think any “reality” show has been involved in reality in many, many years now. I doubt adding an outright charlatan to the mix will result in any lawsuits.

  4. ambassadorfromverdammt says

    Reality show? The only part of this that is real is the process by which grifters separate the marks from their money.

  5. raven says

    I have as much power to expell demons as anyone in the world.

    This includes the Pope, the Mormon chief prophet, seer, and revelator, the Mullahs in Mecca, the Dali Lama, and all the pretender fundie xian conmen put together.

    So does my cat. So does anyone else for that matter.

    It is actually zero but the Pope doesn’t have any more power than that either.

  6. raven says

    My natal xian sect didn’t believe in demons or demonic possession. They also rarely mentioned satan or hell either. Polls show that roughly half of all US xians don’t believe in satan or hell.

    Therefore, demons and demonic possession are an alien concept to me.

    You might as well put up Hex signs to keep away the vampires or refuse to go out at night because the ghosts might get you. Or chase rainbows to find the pot of gold before the leprechauns get it all. It just comes across as some silly superstition from our primitive past.

  7. says

    Raven: I think Shakespeare got there first.

    Glendower:
    I can call spirits from the vasty deep.

    Hotspur:
    Why, so can I, or so can any man;
    But will they come when you do call for them?

    Glendower:
    Why, I can teach you, cousin, to command
    The devil

    Hotspur:
    And I can teach thee, coz, to shame the devil—
    By telling the truth. Tell truth and shame the devil.

  8. raven says

    Exorcisms can sometimes kill, a point well known.

    In the obvious case, priests and ministers kill the victim while torturing them to drive out the demon.

    More common is substituting oogedy boogedy rituals for medical treatment. Some of those who claim to be possessed by demons are mentally ill. And the Demon Theory of Disease is alive and thriving in fundie xianity.

    The number who end up dead by this way is a lot. Counting faith healing failures a wild guess would be in the high thousands a year in the USA.

  9. Reginald Selkirk says

    “I have had hundreds of patients who came to see me because they thought they were demon possessed. Scores of them heard “demon voices” telling them evil things to do. It was at first surprising to me that all of these had dopamine deficiencies in their brains, which were readily correctable with Thorazine or any other major tranquilizer. I discovered that all of the “demons” I was seeing were allergic to Thorazine and that, in nearly every case, a week or two on Thorazine made the “demons” go away and brought the patient closer to his real conflicts.

    Psychiatrist and Christian Paul Meier in the book The Fakers.

  10. Reginald Selkirk says

    “We’re just normal girls who are doing something extraordinary for God”

    Why, because Mr. Omnipotent can’t do it himself? What does God get out of this? If their exorcism really worked, they could claim to be doing something for the victim, but that would still leave questions like ‘why did Mr. Omnibenevolent allow them to become possessed in the first place?’

  11. raven says

    I’m all for this reality TV show.

    1. Fundie xians never, ever miss a chance to demonstrate their moral and intellectual bankruptcy. This is a chance for Larson to show what he has and what he is.

    2. Fundies waste billions of their dollars by sending them to dubious fakes. Whatever, money wasted on conpeople is money they can’t spend attacking science or electing Dominionists.

    And Larson says he’s fielding offers for reality shows about the girls.

    I don’t watch fundie TV. But seems to me, there must already be a bunch of exorcisms per day on fundie xian TV shows. What else are they going to do besides ask for money?

    And speaking of money, some of these fundie xian conpeople make tens of millions USD per year. Pat Robertson is a billionaire.

    “There’s a war going on every day, being waged against us,” Brynne told ABC. “Satan hates us.”

    There is a war going on every day against the USA all right. The fundie xians hate everybody and openly hate the US democracy and will destroy it if they can. These days, the main Wars are the GOP War on Women and the perennial War on Gays. We just finished the War on the War on Easter and in a few months it will be time for the War on the War for Xmas.

  12. prestonstafford says

    As if shouting bible verses at emotionally disturbed people wasn’t bad enough. These schmucks want to market it. That’s evil.

  13. John Hinkle says

    I have demons. One is fatty food. Now if these chicks could scare half the calories out of my food before I eat it, I’d be eternally grateful. Oh, and while they’re at it, if they could make my cheeseburger have all the roughage and vitamins of a salad, I’d give them an extra five bucks.

  14. jnorris says

    Stage One: three young women in bikinis performing exorcisms
    Stage Two: celebrity exorcisms starring Kirk Cameron
    Stage Three: Exorcisms on Ice!
    Stage Four: Exorcisms, the video game

  15. JustaTech says

    “All diseases of Christians are to be ascribed to demons.” St. Augustine. Seems we haven’t come very far since the 5th century. (I’ve always wondered, since he calls out Christians specifically, whose diseases are not ascribed to demons? Animals or unbelievers?)

  16. says

    If they are claiming these levels of demon possession, most of the people don’t need medical help. I’m guessing they’re largely casting out demons of homosexuality, looking at porn weekly and feeling like yelling at the person who holds up the grocery store line.

  17. says

    I know that you didn’t write the story, but shouldn’t it be “protégée” and not “protégé”? I mean, what’s the world coming to when you can’t figure out the correct gender of the noun? The author goes to all the trouble to put in the accents, but forgets the correct gender?

    I mean, what are we teaching people in grammar classes these days?

    /snark

  18. abear says

    Bob Larson has been on this demon scam for decades. His old radio show had him exorcising demons that phoned in to do “spiritual warfare” with Larson. Between the heavy metal fan pranksters and the staged calls there was plenty of entertaining, hilarious theater, however it appeared there were significant numbers of profoundly mentally ill people that heard and participated in this nonsense, and the thought of the harm this may have done is not that funny.

  19. says

    Been a good while since I’ve heard anything about good ole “Blob.” It’s sad his daughter and her friends have taken up his delusions.

  20. ambulocetacean says

    Larson has turned up repeatedly on the History and Discovery channels, as has that idiot behind the Left Behind books (who is always in demand for pseudo-documentaries about the end of the world).

    The assholes who run these channels (including Nat Geo, which is part-owned by Fox) aren’t educating viewers any more. It’s almost as if they’re trying to usher in a new age of endarkenment.

  21. Reginald Selkirk says

    The assholes who run these channels (including Nat Geo, which is part-owned by Fox)

    I didn’t know about the Fox ownership. The March issue of Nat Geo magazine has a lengthy article on the apostles, with abysmal standards of veracity.

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