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Mar 30 2012

So That’s What It Takes to Fire a Cop

I’ve written for years about police officers getting away with just about everything under the sun — drunk driving, faking police reports, beating people up in bars, even killing unarmed suspects — without losing their jobs. So what does it take to get fired? Mowing your lawn in boxer shorts.

Was Bradley County Deputy Dallas Longwith mowing his lawn in his underwear?

The former court officer says no. But the Bradley County Sheriff’s Office dismissed Longwith late last year for “conduct unbecoming an officer,” Major Jim Hodgson said Thursday. The dismissal came after a second complaint was received about him mowing the yard in his underwear and after Longwith had been warned the first time, Hodgson said.

Carlos Miller has a photograph of the guy mowing his lawn in boxer shorts. You’ve seen more revealing shorts at an Amish beach. The article notes that there wasn’t a single write-up or reprimand in his file. So apparently that’s all it takes to get fired. You can beat the hell out of a suspect for no reason, you can drive drunk and kill people, you can frame innocent people — but this will get you fired.

17 comments

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  1. 1
    Abby Normal

    A well muscled cop in tight underwear, I’m not sure “unbecoming” is quite the right charge.

  2. 2
    Ace of Sevens

    The man has impressive quads. They should have put him in recruiting ads.

  3. 3
    Bronze Dog

    This is getting scary. People have been blaming women’s not-so-concealing clothing for rape, hoodies for a vigilante murder, and now a cop with a clean record gets fired for boxers while crooked, murderous cops are still patrolling the streets.

  4. 4
    Daniel Fincke

    Maybe this is not the real reason he has been fired then.

  5. 5
    Nepenthe

    Seconding Daniel. While performing lawnwork in one’s skivvies is not becoming conduct for a human being (I’m looking at you Dad!), it seems like an example of a stupid and convenient excuse.

  6. 6
    Chris from Europe

    @Daniel Fincke
    Yes, I would bet that it’s an excuse, not the real reason. (Of course, his boss could be quite fascistic.)

  7. 7
    neonsequitur

    There’s an untold story here, and when it finally comes out it’s going to be hilarious, appalling, or both.

  8. 8
    Bronze Dog

    Maybe this is not the real reason he has been fired then.

    My difficulty is that we live in an insane world, so I’m predisposed to believing this sort of insanity goes on.

  9. 9
    daniellavine

    My difficulty is that we live in an insane world, so I’m predisposed to believing this sort of insanity goes on.

    You said it. The universe is starting to look an awful lot like a Poe.

  10. 10
    Marcus Ranum

    No, you guys don’t get it. By being out in a revealing outfit, he was asking to be raped which means he’s gay. He’s not carrying his gun, either, which means he’s “soft on crime” or something like that.

  11. 11
    godlesspanther

    Years ago a friend and I were smoking a joint in a bus shelter late at night. A beat cop came up on us. He told us that we would not be charged with possession if we shared the joint with him. Of course, we did.

    He was a really cool cop. I sure hope he never decided to mow the lawn in his boxers. That would be illegal.

  12. 12
    peicurmudgeon

    The chief was probably turned on by the pictures, and needed to get the temptation out of reach.

  13. 13
    frog

    Perhaps his clean record is evidence that he’s a decent guy, and the rest of the local force didn’t want a decent guy among them.

    Thirding or fourthing the appreciation of his physique.

  14. 14
    bones

    I can imagine scenarios where this story makes sense, such as, cops are at risk of firing if they commit an act that embarrasses the rest of the boys. Roughing up and arresting some hippie kid for recording video of them, while not illegal OR embarrassing to the other boys, won’t ever get a cop fired.

  15. 15
    Michael Heath

    Years ago a friend and I were smoking a joint in a bus shelter late at night. A beat cop came up on us. He told us that we would not be charged with possession if we shared the joint with him. Of course, we did.

    Deputy sherrif driving shared a joint with me and three others while we were on our way to a bachelor party which featured what I think was illegal gaming equipment. This would have been in the early 1980s. It was the cop’s personal car.

  16. 16
    WMDKitty -- Survivor

    He certainly is yummy looking.

    But *snicker* arrested for mowing the lawn in your shorts? Too damn funny (and bizzare) to be fake.

    *sigh* I don’t have any “cool cop” stories to share, unfortunately.

  17. 17
    spamamander, internet amphibian

    I can’t pay as well as a police department, but he can come mow my lawn in his skivvies anytime. Just sayin’.

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