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Alabama: We Got Both Kinds, Fascist AND Totalitarian

Roy Moore won the Republican nomination for the Alabama Supreme Court. But Moore, who famously urged execution for gay parents in a custody case in 2002, is scarcely worse than his Democratic opponent, Harry Lyon. For example, he’s in favor of random drug testing of students in public schools:

“The number one problem facing Alabama today is our youth getting addicted to drugs,” Lyon said “The most important plank in my program is to require all high school students in both public and private schools to be subjected to random drug testing at school. If they are found to be positive with drugs in their system, then a school counselor and the parents would be required to go before a juvenile court judge. The juvenile court judge would tailor-make a program for that individual based on the drugs their taking, what that problem is.”

And he thinks that executing Mexicans is a good way to handle illegal immigration:

Tim Lennox: “‘It would only take five or 10 getting killed and broadcast on CNN for it to send a clear message not to fool, or not to step foot rather, in Alabama.’ Is that an accurate quote?”

Harry Lyon: “That’s an accurate quote. You have have to get tough on things like this. We’re losing 35 to 50 soldiers a day in Iraq and Afghanistan. It’s a tough proposal, but the legislature would have to approve it.”

Lyon: “If I were an illegal alien in Alabama and I read that in the newspaper, I wouldn’t wait around for laws to be passed, I would be going back to my homeland. They broke in here, they violated our laws. It’s no different than breaking into your house.” …

Lyon: “Now, I can assure you that proposal would fly right through the Alabama legislature if one of these illegal immigrants were to blow up the Galleria, OK?”

Lennox: “Well, but there’s no indication that any immigrants in Alabama, illegal or otherwise, have done anything along these lines—”

Lyon: “Well, there’s no indication about 9/11 until the buildings came down.”

Lennox: “I mean, are you suggesting that this is a real concern of yours?”

Lyon: “Absolutely. These people are not here legally, they are here illegally. What do they care about the laws of Alabama, or the United States? Slap in our face.”

That either of these men would be allowed anywhere near a Supreme Court is proof that A) judicial elections in general are a bad idea, and B) Alabama is nuts.

Comments

  1. jamessweet says

    We’re losing 35 to 50 soldiers a day in Iraq and Afghanistan.

    This is patently false, by the way. Not that it compares with the other crazy shit he says, but the number if significantly lower than that, FWIW.

    In any case, this has created a really fucked up conundrum for me: Knowing that the Republican nominee is almost certainly going to win the general election, those who voted for Roy Moore may have been doing the right thing. [shudder]….

  2. Mr Ed says

    ‘It would only take five or 10 getting killed and broadcast on CNN for it to send a clear message not to fool, or not to step foot rather, in Alabama.’

    Why the half measures. I bet if we had roving death squads killing people who didn’t fit our utopian ideal things would improve fast. As an added bonus Alabama tourism could do a tie in with Hunger Games.

  3. LightningRose says

    The thing to hope for is that Moore wins and the Alabama Court of the Judiciary once again removes him for being a dickhead.

    “No, we meant it. Really. You’re still a dickhead who’s unsuited to serve as a judge. Stop wasting the taxpayers time, money, and oxygen.”

  4. Chiroptera says

    Is there anyway to revive the UN Trusteeship system and put certain US states (maybe the US as a whole) under the protection of a more mature and reasonable country until we’re actually capable of governing ourselves democratically?

    PS, to those who can’t identify a joke when they read one (and if you were about to respond to this comment, I’m talking about you), this was meant to be a joke.

  5. Abby Normal says

    I don’t generally like or approve of twisting names in to insults. But I do have two exceptions, WorldNutDaily and Alafuckingbama.

  6. says

    “he’s in favor of random drug testing of students in public schools”

    It’s long been known in prisons that random drug testing pushes inmates from using cannabis (which is detectable for weeks) to heroin (which is only detectable for days). I wonder if anyone has done research and turned up a similar finding in schools.

  7. Larry says

    Forget it, Jake, its Alabama.

    Seriously, I’ve stopped giving a shit about the hellholes the in-bred, fundie, rednecks in the south are creating for themselves in their little neck of the woods. I’m only concerned that it doesn’t leak out.

  8. Randomfactor says

    I’m only concerned that it doesn’t leak out.

    Then you’ll be horrified to learn they send representatives to Congress.

  9. leftwingfox says

    If it didn’t feel enough like a time warp in the US, here come the Dixiecrats!

  10. baal says

    Lyon: “Absolutely. These people are not here legally, they are here illegally. What do they care about the laws of Alabama, or the United States? Slap in our face.”

    Of course, over in reality land the undocumented workers bend over backwards to avoid criminality. One arrest and they will likely be deported or detained w/o process for a long while. They can’t always afford or get medical care as well so that further incentives them to be careful rather than lawless.

  11. David C Brayton says

    Several years ago I interviewed for a job in Alabama. On paper the job looked great. But geez-oh-pete, what a strange place. The long weekend I spent there was rather enlightening. And the folks at this company weren’t much different than Harry Lyon.

  12. eric says

    An answer to a question nobody really wanted to ask – “why would anyone vote for Moore?”

  13. says

    “We’re losing 35 to 50 soldiers a day in Iraq and Afghanistan.”

    We are? That would imply a death toll of well over 100,000 by this time.

    Never mind temperament, I’m surprised that these guys managed to make it through law school. I thought logic was supposed to come into that somewhere?

  14. meg says

    “That either of these men would be allowed anywhere near a Supreme Court is proof that A) judicial elections in general are a bad idea”

    Yeah, I’ve always wondered about that – I mean, should the best qualified person have that kind of role? One of (in my opinion) best high court judges we’ve had here in Oz in recent times probably wouldn’t have been elected to his position at the time he was appointed – openly gay (well, he is now, not too sure on when he was appointed – still, it would have shown up in a campaign).

  15. timberwoof says

    Yesterday I watched “Conspiracy”, a reenactment of the Wannsee Conference. It is one thing to watch a fictional character like Claudius lying through his teeth (Patrick Stewart is chilling in that role in the Hamlet he recently did with David Tennant), but these were real people talking about mechanizing the deaths of real people. In the bonus materials Kenneth Brannaugh talks about how disturbing the role of General Reinhard Heydrich was to play.

    “You” Americans keep telling us Germans how important it is to remember what happened in Nazi Germany, so that that sort of thing never happens again. But “you” seem to forget that the lesson is for everybody—including you—not just Germans. When police say they were just following orders, or when politicians say shit like this guy from Alabamistan, I just want to punch someone and scream, “Never fucking forget!”

    But then someone will say, “I don’t like the tone you’re taking, and you’re violating Godwin’s Law.” Then I’ll apologize and ask how a politician in Alabamistan advocating the imprisonment, deportation, and execution of Mexicans is different from some deranged political soldier in Germany doing the same? The one in Germany was supposed to destroy his meeting notes and keep it a secret.

  16. tripencrypt says

    As a ten year resident in Alabama and having grown up in Mississippi; there is no shortage of under educated opinion running rampant here. I comment frequently at al.com and the comments from some people there will blow your minds. Folks, I kid you not. Your palm will be stuck to your skull. They published a letter to the editor recently entitled YOUR VIEWS: Creationism should not be taught in public schools and dumbassery ensued. Please take a look at the comments and enjoy the foolishness I live with daily.

  17. minxatlarge says

    The ‘kill them all, Gawd will know his own’ poison of Authoritarianism is always chilling. Worse, it’s just a cover to convince the rubes to pay taxpayer dollars to Prison Corp and to whichever major campaign contributor owns the drug testing labs.

    Even worse? They tried it in Georgia (after forgetting that they brought the ‘illegals’ in to replace those ‘uppity blacks’) and the fruits rotted on the ground (since picking fruit is a learned skill). And then the wildfires came…

    Worst? It can only be a short term scam. After you’ve built the prisons and bought the lab tests and the various levels of government go broke paying for it, then what? Blame the Liberals for big government spending? Lot of help that will be when the money is gone.

  18. Azkyroth says

    They broke in here, they violated our laws. It’s no different than breaking into your house.

    Well, except that being in the country illegally is, at least in most cases, an infraction. So what he really means is that it’s no different from going 75 on the freeway.

    Which he’s never done, of course…

  19. jufulu says

    That either of these men would be allowed anywhere near a Supreme Court is proof that A) judicial elections in general are a bad idea, and B) Alabama is nuts.

    I consider it absolutely mind boggling that someone can running for a State’s Supreme Court position can have a platform and espouse an agenda. The fact that they are teabaggers is just an added bonus.

  20. leonardschneider says

    And people are worried about the South seceding again… Why, exactly? I’m unclear as to how that’s a problem.

    “Still, I love travelling down there, especially when I’m in the mood for a quick trip to the thirteenth century.” – George Carlin

  21. meanmike says

    I am not sure how it affected illegal immigrants, but that interview made me never want to set foot in Alabama.

  22. Aliasalpha says

    Yesterday I watched “Conspiracy”, a reenactment of the Wannsee Conference

    For a film thats essentially a group of guys sitting around a table for 90 minutes, thats one of the most chilling films I’ve ever seen.

  23. Chiroptera says

    I bet Moore puts the 10 commandments back into the court house. ‘Cause, like, double jeopardy totally protects him from the ACLU’s lawyers!

  24. bigjohn756 says

    Apparently, these folks haven’t noticed that they are losing a lot of money because there are no workers willing to pick the fruits and vegetables since the aliens have been banned. We’ll be able to recognize Alabamians by the fact that have no noses.

  25. timberwoof says

    What’s funny about this whole seceding thing is that when I suggest to someone from a flyover state that that they could get rid of all those damn liberals in California by letting us secede, they tend to balk at that idea. I think they know we get only 68¢ back for every dollar we send to the federal government. The rest goes to them.

  26. exdrone says

    Mr Ed @2:

    Why the half measures.

    Exactly. Forget the judicial elections. Why not judicial Thunderdome? Mad Roy vs Master Blaster Harry … covered by CNN. Arguably, the selection methodology is no less valid than a popularity contest.

  27. Tualha says

    Waitwaitwaitwait – you mean elections for the Alabama Supreme Court are partisan? Even Florida isn’t that backward! Actually, Florida doesn’t vote them in, either; they’re appointed, then the voters decide whether to keep ‘em or chuck ‘em out at intervals.

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