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Mar 16 2012

Pat Robertson on Oral Sex

Come on, you know you’ve always wanted to hear Pat Robertson talk about oral sex. Who hasn’t? Well, God has answered your prayers and here’s the video. It’s interesting how he lapses into the very moral relativism he so often derides by saying that oral sex between a married couple is only a sin if they believe it’s a sin. The correct answer, of course, is that it’s only a sin if you’re doing it right.

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  1. 1
    peicurmudgeon

    I would think it is more of a sin to do it wrong.

  2. 2
    Raging Bee

    For Al-Qaeda Pat, senility is an improvement.

  3. 3
    Randomfactor

    And, of course, it’s not a sin for a married man to have oral sex outside his marriage if the wife has Alzheimer’s. Or so I recall Pat saying.

  4. 4
    feralboy12

    So the answer, as dictated by God, written by His chosen authors in His perfect book of wisdom, handed down through the ages, is “maybe.”
    It’s a good thing sin doesn’t carry a big price tag for Christians.

  5. 5
    Ingdigo Jump

    Pat is one of those that I’m almost 80% confident in saying is a knowing conman.

  6. 6
    Pinky

    I can imagine Robertson’s children talking about him: “First it was decriminalizing marijuana now its oral sex; is dad getting senile? What’s next, miscegenation?”

  7. 7
    Eamon Knight

    Can’t watch the video just now, but AFAIK “it’s a sin if you think it’s a sin” is standard Christian moral theology. The idea is, whether or not some particular act really is against God’s will, if you sincerely believe it’s against God’s will then it is disobedience to go ahead and do it. Now, maybe your conscience needs to be better educated (or maybe the Almighty needs to make himself clearer), but until you get that straightened out….

  8. 8
    Ingdigo Jump

    Can’t watch the video just now, but AFAIK “it’s a sin if you think it’s a sin” is standard Christian moral theology. The idea is, whether or not some particular act really is against God’s will, if you sincerely believe it’s against God’s will then it is disobedience to go ahead and do it. Now, maybe your conscience needs to be better educated (or maybe the Almighty needs to make himself clearer), but until you get that straightened out….

    Morality to me does not mean second guessing the mind of a mute.

  9. 9
    Eamon Knight

    @8: Morality to me does not mean second guessing the mind of a mute.

    No, but it’s not moral relativism, either.

  10. 10
    Ingdigo Jump

    @Eamon Knight

    Yes it is. It’s moral relativism hiding behind a Rorschach blot.

    If you think God would be offended and do it it’s a sin. If you don’t think God would mind (presumably even if he would), then it’s not?

    It is stating yes there is an absolute morality but no real way to know it and what’s good is doing what your own conscience and knowledge demand. You know. RELATIVISM.

  11. 11
    congenital cynic

    I’m amazed that the senile old coot was that non-commital on the whole oral business. (One wonders what “Oral” Roberts would say?)

    Personally, I find it spectacular, both in the giving and the receiving.

  12. 12
    Ingdigo Jump

    Furthermore it means that the best outcome for this system is for NO ONE to teach the bible. If we’re all judged based on how we THINK we’re holding up God’s will the worse thing anyone can do is educate people! Ignorance gives people the plausible deniability and ensures salvation. Pat is being a asshole risking the damnation of countless every time he speaks for God.

    Unless God DOES punish people for doing sins they didn’t think were sins upon which case he’s a huge dick for punishing actions people mistaken thought were sins AND actions people mistakenly thought were not.

  13. 13
    Pinky

    Father Sarducci of Saturday Night Live fame, once talked about the relative seriousness of various sins. Y’all remember Father Guido Sarducci, the gossip columnist for the Vatican newspaper, L’Osservatore Romano.

    Fr. Sarducci compared sinning to paying your bills during the afterlife. He did not go into how “expensive” oral sex was as a sin, but he did mention masturbation as a minor sin that added up quite rapidly.

    On Masturbation: Life is a job. You get $14.50 a day, but after you die, you have to pay for your sins. Stealing a hub cap is around $100. Masturbation is 35 cents (it doesn’t seem like much, but it adds up). If there’s money left when you subtract what you owe from what you’ve earned, you can go to heaven. If not, you have to go back to work. (Sort of like reincarnation — many nuns are Mafia guys working it off.)

    I am glad to hear Pat say:

    …only a sin if they believe it’s a sin.

    I’ve lived a fun life within the limits of my ethics and the boundaries of our legal system. Being an Atheist and not believing in sin means I don’t have to listen to the cash register bell ring over and over as 35 cents is debited against me.

  14. 14
    bahrfeldt

    I am about 80% certain that Pat feels oral sex is a sin only if he is charged more than he anticipated.

  15. 15
    Aquaria

    The thought of Pat Robertson and oral sex is too horrifying for me to behold.

  16. 16
    No One

    “Don’t look at me!”

    We needed agile camera switching there.

  17. 17
    exdrone

    Female anchor:

    “Jerry asks, ‘Is oral sex between a husband and a wife in a marriage a sin?’ I don’t want to … Don’t look at me!”

    *pan to old man leering*

    I stopped the video at that point.

  18. 18
    sunsangnim

    I love how his female co-host gets freaked out by the question. I do declare, her delicate feminine sensibilities have been offended! Someone get the smelling salts!

    She’s got to remind the folks at home that if you’re a truly conservative woman, not only can’t you enjoy sex, but you can’t even have a normal adult conversation about it.

  19. 19
    stuartsmith

    I think people are being kind of unfair here. Within the Christian mythos, that answer makes perfect sense and is completely consistent. There’s no moral relativism at work. Most people will consider it moraly worse to do something if you believe it’s wrong but do it anyway than if you do the same thing in the sincere but misguided belief that you’re doing what’s right.

    If something is not a sin, but you believe that it is, and you choose to do it, then you are choosing to sin. Choosing to sin is itself sinfull, even if you fail at doing so. So, if you believe oral sex is a sin, but choose to have oral sex, then you’re not sinning by having oral sex, but only by choosing to do so despite believing it’s a sin. Perfectly coherent.

    I’m not saying he’s right, but he’s not wrong in any of the ways people seem to be saying. He’s wrong in much deeper, more pervasive ways.

  20. 20
    llewelly

    I really misread the title on this one, and thought it was going to be about a newly discovered kind of relationship between Pat Robertson and Oral Roberts.

  21. 21
    carolw

    Poor old Pat’s just confused. He thinks oral sex is when a couple talks dirty to each other.

  22. 22
    josephmccauley

    I don’t care how you frame this video, I am not watching.

  23. 23
    Raging Bee

    Within the Christian mythos, that answer makes perfect sense and is completely consistent.

    You really think there’s only one “Christian mythos?” Your entire thesis is based on a false premise.

  1. 24
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