Quantcast

«

»

Mar 01 2012

Dumbass Quote of the Day

The U.S. Reformation Prayer Network, a group of looney tunes who consider themselves “prophets,” urged its followers to pray before Michigan’s primary on Tuesday because, if they didn’t, Michigan would become an Islamic state. Seriously.

Michigan has suffered great economic hardship for many years due to foreign competition and costs of doing business. We have historically historically been an anti-Semitic state, and hold one of the largest population of Muslims outside of the Middle East. There seems to be an underlying agenda by Islam to have Michigan become the first Islamic state in America.

Actually, we hold one of the largest populations of Arabs outside the Middle East; many of those Arabs are Christians, like the Chaldeans. But bigots like these people recognize no such distinction. By the way, about 3% of the Michigan population is Muslim. I worry far more about the fact that all three branches of government are controlled by the Republicans. On the list of things to be concerned about, a Muslim takeover of Michigan falls somewhere between a zombie apocalypse and a Backstreet Boys reunion.

24 comments

Skip to comment form

  1. 1
    slc1

    It is my information that a majority of the Arabs living in Michigan are Christians.

  2. 2
    holytape

    Crap, now I have a new fear to add to my list, Zombie Backstreet Boy Reunion.

  3. 3
    Kevin, 友好火猫 (Friendly Fire Cat)

    Backstreet’s back, ALRIGHT! *dundundundun* ALRIGHT!

  4. 4
    davidct

    If all they did was to pray there would be no problem.

  5. 5
    TGAP Dad

    My vote for badass quote of the day is yours, Ed:
    On the list of things to be concerned about, a Muslim takeover of Michigan falls somewhere between a zombie apocalypse and a Backstreet Boys reunion.

  6. 6
    emc2

    Declare that Godly men and women will be elected who carry a Biblical worldview and have moral integrity…. (snip)…Declare our elected leaders will preserve our God-given Constitution.

    Except for that part about no religious test, of course.

  7. 7
    billnagel

    …between a zombie apocalypse and a Backstreet Boys reunion

    The difference being…?

  8. 8
    Captain Mike

    One blankets the whole planet with a crawling horror that causes the living to envy the dead. The other involves zombies.

  9. 9
    Chiroptera

    We have historically historically been an anti-Semitic state, and hold one of the largest population of Muslims outside of the Middle East.

    More than Indonesia? India? Tanzania? China?

  10. 10
    MikeMa

    What has antisemitism to do with it? They hate Jews and Arabs equally?

    Are they in favor of antisemitism or against?

  11. 11
    baal

    Well, Michigan isn’t an Islamic State today so we can say the prayer worked?

    On a totally unrelated note, I have a rock over here that keeps away tigers. Have you seen a tiger recently? No? Must be working!

  12. 12
    Geds

    On the list of things to be concerned about, a Muslim takeover of Michigan falls somewhere between a zombie apocalypse and a Backstreet Boys reunion.

    Shit! And the second already happened last year, when NKOTB and BSB did the NKOTBSB tour!

    If anyone needs me I’ll be investing in shotgun futures.

  13. 13
    Didaktylos

    The difference being…?

    Argent, Blunstone & co didn’t have autotune.

  14. 14
    bahrfeldt

    Pray. And send me a check. My old indoor pool is so 2008.

  15. 15
    laurentweppe

    On the list of things to be concerned about, a Muslim takeover of Michigan falls somewhere between a zombie apocalypse and a Backstreet Boys reunion.

    I’ll take a takeover of government by zombie Muslims over a rebirth of the backstreets boys any day. Twelve years ago, when google was still in its infancy and I was still using Altavista, the venerable search engine managed to send me after a completely unrelated search toward a site of backstreet boys fanfictions: Since then, I’ve known for a fact that souls are real because mine was violated and crippled by what I saw this day.

  16. 16
    typecaster

    Declare that our elected leaders will uphold traditional marriage

    Well, they’re ok there. I’m willing to bet that every candidate, and all citizens, support traditional marriage. I know that I do.

    Of course, I also support some very nontraditional implementations of the marriage concept. But given how they stated their desire, I’m sure that they’re OK with that.

  17. 17
    Rip Steakface

    One blankets the whole planet with a crawling horror that causes the living to envy the dead. The other involves zombies.

    Excuse me while I set up my drum set.

    *badumtish*

  18. 18
    Aquaria

    to send me after a completely unrelated search toward a site of backstreet boys fanfictions: Since then, I’ve known for a fact that souls are real because mine was violated and crippled by what I saw this day.

    Oh, there’s worse than that. A lot worse.

    I mean, there’s always been the horrifying LotR and Star Wars/Trek fanfics to make you wish your eyeballs could be scrubbed clean with a wire brush.

    But just think–now there’s Twilight and Justin Bieber fanfics.

    Bad can get worse. Always.

  19. 19
    timgueguen

    You didn’t do the research, Ed. The Backstreet Boys have never really broken up, and are planning on putting out an album this year. Their last album was released in 2009. Hence they are a clear and present danger, versus a Muslim takeover of Michigan.

  20. 20
    meg

    hold one of the largest population of Muslims outside of the Middle East.

    huh? The largest population of Muslims in any country (including the Middle East) is Indonesia. Then Pakistan, then India. So showing their general ignorance there. . .

    Hell, according to wiki, France, China, Russia, the Phillipines, Thailand and Germany have a higher population of Muslims. And I haven’t mentioned all the African countries with high Muslim populations.

  21. 21
    F [is for failure to emerge]

    While Muslim or Arab describe certain groups, I suspect that they mean to imply anyone of Middle Eastern descent and Muslims. Whatever provides the largest possible number, including just making shit up.

  22. 22
    dingojack

    “We have historically historically been an anti-Semitic state, and hold one of the largest population of Muslims outside of the Middle East.”

    It’s a trend so historical they had to mention it twice.

    You don’t understand the creeping horror that could have overtaken Michigan* – That evul Muslims** (or some kinda brown people anyway) might have got to join the Michigan Nazi Party!

    Oh the horror, the horror!

    Dingo
    —–
    * (worse that a hundred thousand Zombie BSB reunion fanfic sites!!!)
    ** amusingly the spell-check suggested ‘muesli’.
    ‘Michigan muesli nazis, I hate Michigan muesli Nazis!’ [drives into to Michigan muesli nazis on the bridge, forcing them to dive off the bridge into the stream. Then they fall apart into a brown, sodden Papier-mâché like goop, clogging the stream...]

  23. 23
    Nemo

    They probably think Indonesia is in the Middle East.

  24. 24
    kermit.

    Nemo: They probably think Indonesia is in the Middle East.

    They’re between California and Japan, aren’t they?

Leave a Reply

Switch to our mobile site