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Coolest. Republican. Wife. Ever.

This is hilarious. One of the Virginia Republican legislators who supported the mandatory trans-vaginal ultrasound bill told his fellow delegates that his wife had refused to have sex with him because of that. And the level of detail he offered is hilarious. This is how Republican husbands try to get their wives to have sex:

“Boy’s in bed, wife’s here, TV, poured some red wine,” Albo said of how he began the night.

Albo then attempted to play some “mood music” for his fellow lawmakers to help explain how he tried to entice his wife. House members were laughing as Albo received assistance from another lawmaker in putting on the music.

The next step in his seduction plan: He went to turn on the Redskins Channel to help put his wife in the mood for love. Apparently, his wife loves the Washington football team.

On the way to his Redskins seduction, Albo found a news channel that mentioned his name in the context of the ultrasound bill. On Rachel Maddow’s show on MSNBC, Englin was discussing the ultrasound bill.

Unfortunately for Albo, he and his wife stopped to watch the show — and his warm bed turned into a cold shower.

“The show’s over, and she looks at me and says, ‘I have to go to bed,'” Albo recounted to further laughter.

I’m guessing that “mood music” was a Lee Greenwood song. The rest of us would use Marvin Gaye.

Comments

  1. laurentweppe says

    So, the Republican party can boast that they finally wrote a law which increase abstinence… in their own beds.

  2. Phillip IV says

    Too bad she didn’t have a big (black) dildo and some lube at hand, then she could have gone the full “What’s good for the goose…”.

    But informing his fellow lawmakers about his personal experiences isn’t as frivolous as it might at first appear – there is a political point to it. As he said, he’s rich, and he didn’t get sex – that’s a violation of the core GOP plank: “Any and all legislation must be designed to get rich people more sex.”

  3. Randomfactor says

    Had previously seen this clip, and I wondered what was the purpose of his story? Did he change his mind and oppose the bill? Did he use it to cover for a change of position simply on the ultrasound portion of the bill, a throwaway provision just to give the pro-woman side of the legislature some shiny object to fixate on while the rest of the restrictions are intact?

    Or was it just a tale of his silly wife who’ll come around, so full speed back to the 1950’s and back-alley abortions for those whose husbands can’t afford to send them to some civilized state for a medical procedure no longer available to his constituents?

    Context would be nice. All the reports I’ve seen are fixated on the shiny object.

  4. flatlander100 says

    Here’s the real headline: “GOP Rep. Advocates Liquoring Up Women For Sex!” [Wonder how that'll play in Salt Lake City?]

  5. Who Knows? says

    I wondered what was the purpose of his story?

    I was wondering the same thing. Because what I got from it was, the only real purpose his wife serves is to fuck him, because he’s such a wealthy stud with that big screen T.V. and all. And women are so petty that the idea of people like him imposing control over their bodies stops him from getting his rightful groove on and sends them whining into the bedroom.

  6. says

    Obviously, the point is that we should all support this legislation, so that republicans all get cut off from sex, thus preventing them from reproducing, and improving the world. It’s a very persuasive argument, really…

  7. says

    What I get from this is that a Virginia delegate thought it appropriate to turn his attempted intrusion into reproductive freedom into a scene from a 1950’s sitcom for laughs on the floor of the House of Delegates, and everybody else went along with it.

    Hey Rita Albo, did this actually happen? And whether it did or didn’t, how do you feel about your husband now?

  8. Who Knows? says

    how do you feel about your husband now?

    Now that the world knows Washington Redskins Football makes her all hot.

  9. says

    I am in full agreement with Gretchen. This whole episode was a slapstick routine done in bad taste, given what this bill represents. That was just farcical.

  10. says

    Who is “Boy”?

    Boy.

    You know, the boy. And the wife. Played in this sitcom by Ben and Rita, respectively, but that’s not important.

    Boy is adopted, but David Albo ends his speech by saying “So if the gentleman’s plan was to make sure there was one less Republican in this world, he did it.” So perhaps there are no fertility issues there after all. Or perhaps, more realistically, that was just another joke about caricature family, not real family. Or perhaps, as would be much funnier, the one less Republican in the world is Rita. Maybe she’ll also become one less wife.

  11. abb3w says

    I suspect that if the Lysistrata was made a mandatory part of the high school literature curriculum, it would advance the progress of our civilization immensely.

  12. says

    abb3w,

    I’d agree, but I think the significance of hearing about the denial of sex used as a political weapon by women in ancient Greece, as compared to America today, might either blow their minds or float right by them. Probably the latter.

  13. sumdum says

    Maybe it’s just me, but if this is the coolest republican wife ever, we don’t set the bar very high.

  14. Randomfactor says

    I could argue that the “coolest Republican wife ever,” as in “wife of a prominent Republican,” was Jeri Ryan, who it might be said is significantly responsible for Barack Obama being president today.

    And I think 77.777%* of Star Trek fans might agree with me.

    (*Seven of nine, to be exact.)

  15. ema says

    Gretchen,

    Between this bozo and Rep. Readshaw who disclosed his daughter’s medical information in a letter to a constituent defending the proposed PA U/S bill, it looks like the privacy of female family members is not a concept these politicians are familiar with.

  16. supernova says

    Virginia House of Delegates:
    Lower House of the Virginia General Assembly, the State Legislature.
    Also a group therapy session apparently.

  17. tubi says

    Albo keeps saying “trans-v this and trans-v that.” On his show this morning on MSNBC, Chris Hayes made the observation that perhaps people who can’t bring themselves to say the word ought not be writing legislation that has to do with vaginas. Which I thought was a fair point.

    What a tool. Albo, I mean. I like Chris Hayes.

  18. Pen says

    Yeah, it’s hilarious. Except for that nagging sarcastic voice at the back of my head that says ‘Go for it ladies! Use sex to reward or punish men for their activities! Don’t you know that’s how God and nature intended you to participate in public life?’

  19. peterh says

    The bill had its first vote in the Virginia legislature just this month but the Redskins’ season was over how long ago? Even a phony (and oh-so-cliché) scenario has to have a believable timeline.

  20. Hercules Grytpype-Thynne says

    Around here the cable sports station broadcasts nostalgia baseball games during the offseason. I can’t recall seeing the same for football, but hey, why not?

  21. iangould says

    Should he simply have told her it was duty as a good Christian wife to submit and, if she still refused, administered an appropriately loving beating?

  22. interrobang says

    I’ll admit, I laughed, but I was laughing at Albo, not with him. He is such a pathetic spectacle, bragging about his giant tv and his tiny weiner, while making his wife’s obviously legitimate anger at him out to be high-larious. Yeah, hurr hurr Rep. Albo, fun-nee…

  23. plutosdad says

    So apparently he didn’t learn anything. How he rationalizes blaming the Democrats for his wife’s anger at him I don’t know, but he does.

  24. caseloweraz says

    The usually perceptive Reginald Selkirk wrote, “Who is ‘Boy’?”

    It’s not the son of Tarzan. I see someone has already explained.

    Over at HuffPost, the story has 9.666 comments — with, as the Tonight Show with Johnnie Carson used to say, “More to Come.”

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