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Dumbass Quote of the Day

From Rick Perry, during his speech withdrawing from the presidential race:

“I began this race with a sense of calling — I felt led into the arena to fight for the future of this country. I feel no different than I did then, knowing the calling never represents a particular outcome, but a journey that tests one’s faith and character.”

Oh, nonsense. You began the race because you thought you had a chance to win. But the fact that you’re a weapons-grade moron quickly became apparent even to Republican voters, who tend to actually like garden-variety morons. That wasn’t God calling you, it was your ego.

Comments

  1. imrryr says

    But the fact that you’re a weapons-grade moron quickly became apparent even to Republican voters, who tend to actually like garden-variety morons.

    Still, that’s one crazy-ass garden.

  2. says

    It was God calling Perry. It was a wrong number. You have to remember that God is getting old in His age. He flooded Iowa when Obama won the senate in Illinois. He wanted to flood the gay parade in the french quarter, but ended up flooding the rest of New Orleans by mistake. God was just trying to call his Son Jesus, to ask him why he never visits any more, and why he hasn’t settled down with a nice Jewish girl yet. “I know you’re my only Son, but a couple of Grandkids would be nice.” Perry, who doesn’t speak a lick of ancient hebrew, mistook the call as a calling for higher office.

    (P.S. When God did realizes his mistake, he tried calling Perry back, but dialed the wrong prayer again. Ms. Collinworth, of Yorktown Ohio, a normally happy woman, with a good career and family, spent a week with the thought “Don’t run for president, you stupid moron.” running through her head.)

  3. Abby Normal says

    That wasn’t God calling you, it was your ego.

    Amazing how often those things get confused.

  4. D. C. Sessions says

    So when the Heavenly Phone rings for Perry, Bachmann, et al. and the Campaign Manager in Chief tells them that they’re “called” to the Presidency, it’s really just the setup for a pratfall?

    The lesson to be learned from this is that when someone says that they’re “called” to public office, it means that they’re going to get the Jonah treatment and become public laughing stocks.

  5. Taz says

    I never thought it would be possible to say this about anyone, but Perry is George W Bush without the brains.

  6. Canadian Yankee says

    So when the Heavenly Phone rings for Perry, Bachmann, et al. and the Campaign Manager in Chief tells them that they’re “called” to the Presidency, it’s really just the setup for a pratfall?

    Actually, the problem with all of them is that when God called them to run for President, none of them asked the obvious followup question: “President of what?”

  7. d cwilson says

    At least now we know where the cellar is. From now on, every republican candidate will have to strive to be not quite as dumb as Rick Perry.

    I felt led into the arena to fight for the future of this country.

    A country you once threatened to secede from.

    Still, that’s one crazy-ass garden.

    It’s more of a nut orchard.

  8. pHred says

    holytape – OMG you are channeling Douglas Adams! That was awesome. I just wish I wasn’t taking a bite of sandwich when I read it. You almost killed me.

  9. Michael Heath says

    Ed wrote:

    That wasn’t God calling you [Rick Perry], it was your ego.

    Where Gov. Perry then preceded to campaign depending entirely on his id. What he didn’t realize was that Newt Gingrich had already locked-up the demographic niche which is attracted by such behavior.

  10. says

    d cwilson “At least now we know where the cellar is. From now on, every republican candidate will have to strive to be not quite as dumb as Rick Perry.”
    When God closes a door He opens an Overton Window…

  11. D. C. Sessions says

    At least now we know where the cellar is. From now on, every republican candidate will have to strive to be not quite as dumb as Rick Perry.

    You have a far higher opinion of today’s POG than I do.

  12. MikeMa says

    strive to be not quite as dumb as Rick Perry.

    Sorry, Bachmann already dug a hole in that cellar. And found Palin already there.

  13. carolw says

    If only he would drop out of politics all together. Now we (Texas) are going to get him back for another term as Gov., probably. Damn.

  14. exdrone says

    D.C. Sessions @5 says:

    So when the Heavenly Phone rings for Perry, Bachmann, et al. and the Campaign Manager in Chief tells them that …

    I know the G-man likes to be old school, but if he’s going to start relying on multiple inspirations, he really needs to get a Twitter account.

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