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Dec 30 2011

Obama Forces Everyone to Celebrate Kwanzaa

The loony right has something new to freak out about since Obama issued a greeting to those who celebrate Kwanzaa just like he did for Christmas and every other major religious holiday, even ones celebrated by Hindus and Sikhs. And just like President Bush did every single year:

Remember when conservatives raged after President George W. Bush issued messages marking the celebration of Kwanzaa each and every year he was in the White House? Neither do they. That’s why the right-wing blogosphere is apoplectic that Barack Obama followed Bush’s lead in recognizing a holiday many African-Americans celebrate each year.

As he did in 2009 and 2010Andrew Malcolm made sure his readers knew that President Obama and the First Lady issued an official White House statement marking Kwanzaa. Tammy Bruce quickly retweeted a message declaring, “Obama celebrates Kwanzaa…Idiots,” adding, “Oh freaking brother.” …

Had they simply followed Dubya’s practice of “clicking around” the “Internets,” they would have discovered that President Bush issued official Kwanzaa statements in 2001200220032004200520062007 and2008.

But Bush only did it because Obama used his secret Muslim time travel machine to go back in time and perform a special voodoo ritual that clouded his judgment. It’s all part of Obama’s master plan to let gay Muslim terrorists take over the country and put Christians into FEMA concentration camps, where they’ll be forced to eat arugula with dijon mustard and watch Lady Gaga videos.

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  1. 1
    dingojack

    I don’t know about you, but I certainly partied hard this Kwanzaa season and all because of the Prez…
    Oh wait, no, no I didn’t. How could that be?
    Dingo

  2. 2
    Aquaria

    It’s because they’re so fucking spoiled from their excess of privilege that they have to resort to latching onto the stupidest things as signs of being persecuted to try to get any sympathy at all.

    It’s not working, you moronic douchebags.

  3. 3
    dan4

    “Obama celebrates Kwanzaa…Idiots,”

    Uh, Obama is now more than one person (last time I checked, “Idiots” is plural)?

  4. 4
    WordsOfAWizard

    I celebrated Robot Kwanzaa this year. It entailed building a cardboard “robot” out of boxes and Christmas lights and filling it’s chest cavity with snack sized cakes and chocolate coins.

  5. 5
    jnorris

    Tammy Bruce got her message backwards, the idiot part was her addressing her tweeter readers.

  6. 6
    yoav

    Damn I missed it, I must have been at work or something when Obama’s jackbooted Acorn New Black Panthers came by my place to force me to celebrate Kwanzaa.

  7. 7
    chilidog99

    I think it’s time for President Obama to issue an executive order forcing the right wing blogosphere to eat Sandra Lee’s Kwanzaa cake.

    That’ll shut them up.

  8. 8
    imrryr

    @yoav – Curse you! Thanks to you, Obama’s jackbooted Acorn New Black Panther thugs came to my house last night and made me celebrate Kwanzaa twice so they could reach their quotas!

  9. 9
    kermit.

    yoav, imrryr, get with the program. If you’re Obama supporters you don’t have to work anymore. You can live high on the hog off the backs of the right wing True Americans. I know, I’m not one either, really, but if you just register as one and get the tattoo and ear tag (it’s quick, it’s almost painless) then every day is Mardis Gras! Wheee!

  10. 10
    Crommunist

    @kerpit #9

    If every day is Mardi Gras, how come nobody is giving me beads when I expose myself? Seriously… these legal fees are starting to pile up.

  11. 11
    jakc

    On the campaign trail, Ron Paul stresses his Christian fundamentalism; his famed libertarianism also seems to be of the state’s rights variety. He doesn’t seem to have a real commitment to individual liberty/civil rights. He doesn’t want the federal government acting to restrain states, he values property rights over public accommodation and fetuses over women. If you wonder why libertarians can’t find much common cause with liberals, its because their goals are very different. I don’t find a national health care plan to be much of a restraint on my liberty even though I am very concerned about the increasing power of the government. I have to part ways with Ron Paul though because he only seems worried about the power of the federal government, and not that of states (or of large corporations).

  12. 12
    dan4

    @12: Stay on topic.

  1. 13
    Linksplat – 31/12/11 « Cubik's Rube

    [...] – No damn President of mine is going to celebrate Kwanzaa. At least, no African President. [...]

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