Noah’s Ark Found. Again.


Ooh, yet another Noah’s Ark has been found. I’ve lost count, but the Real Noah’s Ark tm must have been found a hundred times by now. And that crack reporting team from CBN is on the story:

Now, a group of scientists say they’ve found parts of the biblical ark.

Daniel McGivern and his team claimed to have discovered two large sections of Noah’s ark resting just below surface atop Mount Ararat in Turkey — where the Bible says the ark came to rest.

“The mountain is treeless. The mountain is volcanic with gases. There is no conceivable way that you could have an object that big on a mountain,” McGivern said.

The team used military satellite imagery and ground penetrating radar technology to locate the ruins. They believe the large object is wooden.

“The evidence is overwhelming,” McGivern added. “This is the large piece from Noah’s ark.”

His evidence is based solely on imaging technology.

I love those last two sentences — the evidence is overwhelming, but based solely on imaging technology that can only show that something is buried in the ice. This is the Ron Wyatt school of archaeology — claim to have found this incredible artifact, but there’s some reason why you can’t produce the evidence for it.

The large piece of wood will likely remain buried under ice.

“There’s a huge problem with getting down to it, because of the fact that you can’t melt the ice,” McGivern explained. “You are up there at 16,600 feet. How are you going to get down to it?”

How convenient for you.

McGivern’s claim may never have the hard evidence to back it up, but the discovery could provide a great opportunity to share the gospel.

Well that makes sense. You can use one claim for which there is no evidence to justify belief in a few hundred other claims for which there is no evidence.

Comments

  1. Aquaria says

    Oh–and that girl found on a mountaintop is now sitting in a museum, intact.

    You’re going to have to come up with a better excuse than that idiotic one.

  2. The Lorax says

    Aquaria, their excuse is pretty obvious: if they were to dig it up, they would be proven wrong. So, they won’t dig it up. Ever. They will specifically prevent people from digging it up, claiming that doing so might damage priceless archeological artifacts.

    Now, c’mon. You knew that. :P

  3. matty1 says

    “There’s a huge problem with getting down to it, because of the fact that you can’t melt the ice,” McGivern explained. “You are up there at 16,600 feet. How are you going to get down to it?”

    You know actual archaeologists have been known to do this thing called digging, and if you’re wondering about that altitude a search for high altitude archaeology turned up this. Key quote “The world’s highest archaeological site is an Inca ruin, presumably a temporary stone shelter, on the summit of Llullaillaco at 22,015 feet in Chile.”

    Now tell me again how finding stuff at 16,600 feet is impossible.

  4. Strategically Shaved Monkey says

    “Group of scientists” ??
    Tee hee, ha ha, ho ho, waaaaahaaaaaa!

    “There’s a huge problem with getting down to it, because of the fact that you can’t melt the ice,”
    Yeah, know what you mean. The age-old unmeltable ice postulate. Lacking any locally combustable ark wood, I suggest fart-lighting as a useful alternative.

  5. Doug Little says

    Wouldn’t you at least drill a core sample to see if it is indeed wood. I think we need some real scientists up there to do the due diligence if they are unwilling to do so, maybe the Myth Busters would be interested and could do a special.

  6. says

    Those were the first two words that sprang to mind too — “core sample”. A small price to pay for supposedly the greatest archaeological discovery of all time.

    If wood was found, the very fact that there is a large wooden structure of any kind at the top of Mt Ararat would be of major scientific, if not archaeological interest.

  7. lynxreign says

    But the mountain is volcanic with gases.
    Volcanic with gases everyone! That makes digging impossible. If only it were volcanic with solids or liquids, then they’d have a chance. If it were volcanic with geese then they’d be golden.
    The mountain is volcanic with gases may be the stupidest sentence I’ve read all day and I read the post about Rich Perry!

  8. says

    Their reading of the Bible is incorrect anyway, it says “The Mountains of Ararat” (meaning Urartu, a region described by the Assyrians around Lake Van, in northeast Turkey) and could have been as far east as Iran.

  9. bbgunn says

    If you want a good laugh or cry, read the comments on the CBN site. I believe enough stupid is burning there in those comments to melt the snow and ice on that 16,600 ft. mountain.

  10. MikeMa says

    Unbelievable find! Really. Unbelievable.

    And unverifiable. And unlikely. And destined to raise millions for the protection of this site from ever actually being explored properly by actual scientists rather than religious ijits.

  11. eric says

    Hey now you disbelievers, McGivern’s web site says that the block of wood slopes. In places it covered with between 23 and 100 feet of ice. Don’t you understand? 23 whole feet!!! Clearly it would take some sort of alien super-technology or a miracle to drill through that amount of ice! :)

  12. d cwilson says

    If you brought them all together, which do you think would be bigger: All of the “arks” that have been discovered or all of the pieces of the “True Cross”?

  13. d cwilson says

    McGivern’s claim may never have the hard evidence to back it up, but the discovery could provide a great opportunity to share the gospel.

    Which of course, is far more important to them than having actually hard evidence.

  14. Etiene says

    Clearly it would take some sort of alien super-technology or a miracle to drill through that amount of ice! :)

    Quick, someone call Bruce and Ben, they did a great job on that asteroid!

    Oh but Bruce didn’t come back. Be a shame if that happened to Ben…

  15. bubba707 says

    Maybe they need to talk to the guys that recovered a P-38 from under the ice in Greenland some years ago. If they could recover, restore and fly a WW II airplane that was lost under the ice the Ark should be easy.

  16. Mr Ed says

    Well they did recover P-38s from Greenland but they were only covered in 268 feet of ice. Of course this is biblical ice and would be harder to melt.

  17. Doug Little says

    Of course this is biblical ice and would be harder to melt.

    Ahhhh, now I understand how Jesus walked on water, it wasn’t water at all but biblical ice which is impervious to melting, they must of transported a piece via that P-38 so Jesus could go all Chris Angel (Hmmm name seems to fit) on his disciples.

  18. Rasmus Odinga Gambolputty de von Ausfern....of Ulm says

    “There is no conceivable way that you could have an object that big on a mountain,” McGivern said.”

    There’s also no conceivable way that flood waters could top the highest mountain peak by 20 feet, but let’s not get hung up on details.

  19. says

    What surprises me is how the buggers keep loosing the damn thing.
    I mean constantly misplacing your keys is one thing, but an ark??
    Those things a big! And the price of gopher wood these days…

  20. bigjohn756 says

    Mount Ararat must be cluttered with remnants of the Real Noah’s Arks. It should be easy to find a piece of at least one or two of them.

  21. had3 says

    Now, if they could recover, restore, repopulate, and re-sail the Ark; that would be right up there w/the P-38.

  22. raven says

    Ooh, yet another Noah’s Ark has been found. I’ve lost count, but the Real Noah’s Ark tm must have been found a hundred times by now.

    I think everyone has lost track of how many times it has been found.

    No one even knows how many times Fake Noah’s arks have been “found”.

  23. Didaktylos says

    One assumption all “Arkeologists” seem to make is that the vessel’s structure would have remained pretty much whole. But surely, if there had been an Ark, the vessel would have been broken up pretty much as soon as it was no longer needed to be recycled for fuel and building materials.

  24. RustD says

    OK, so the same people that don’t believe global warming could raise the ocean a few feet believe the floods from rain raised a boat 16,000 feet?

  25. grumpyoldfart says

    Carbon-14 Can’t Verify the Ark’s Age

    […]

    C-14 dating on this object is a waste of time, money and just plain stupid. The experts say as much

    http://noahsarkfound.com/page9.html

    And if you follow the link on that page, you find that the “experts” are from The Center For Scientific Creation

  26. says

    Another problem could be the matter of how animals made their way from there to Australia and the Galapagos Islands, and all the other places separated by large bodies of water.*

    … Assuming, for the moment, that this particular set of primitive myths are actually true.

    * Maybe there is a second crack team of scientists working on this issue. Did the animals snorkel? Hover? Ride on the backs of large turtles? Oh my, all those animals are dead. I guess we’ll never know now.

  27. meg says

    @fifth dentist

    I remember as a kid we had a record (yes, record) with a bunch of ‘Aussie themed’ songs. One was the story about how the flood wasn’t as high here, and all the animals climbed trees to survive.

    I was always sceptical – 1. Have you ever seen a kangaroo? No way they are climbing anything. 2. Let alone a wombat. Those things dislike moving in general.

  28. freemage says

    Of course this is biblical ice and would be harder to melt.

    Ahhhh, now I understand how Jesus walked on water, it wasn’t water at all but biblical ice which is impervious to melting, they must of transported a piece via that P-38 so Jesus could go all Chris Angel (Hmmm name seems to fit) on his disciples.

    Aw, now you’re just straw-manning. Obviously, Jesus was walking on Biblical water, and when Biblical water freezes, it becomes Biblical ice. If the water alone is enough to let people walk on it, obviously the ice is gonna be supa-tough. See? Science!

  29. frankb says

    A previously discovered Ark was a rock formation but that didn’t phase their storytelling at all.

  30. Michael Heath says

    Here’s my favorite comment so far, from Michael 4 days ago:

    I FEEL THIS IS A REMINDER FOR THOSE THAT HAVE FORGOTTEN GODS LOVE FOR US TO GIVE THIS SECOND CHANCE TO US ALL TO START OVER AND ALL THE OTHER CHANCES THE FATHER HAS GIVEN US TO ATTEMPT TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT LOOK AROUND AND SEE THE TIMES WE ARE IN WE AS A PEOPLE NEED TO STAND TOGETHER AS ONE FOR CHRISTENS AND JEWS ALIKE WE ALWAYS HAVE BEEN BROTHERS AND WE SHOULD ALL BE TOGETHER FOR THAT WAS THE WAY IT WAS AT THE BEGINNING AMEN!

  31. Cliff Hendroval says

    fifthdentist: That was the beginning of the end for me, when my Sunday school teacher couldn’t explain how the kangaroos got back to Australia. I was six and thought kangaroos were really cool.

  32. Ben P says

    OK, so the same people that don’t believe global warming could raise the ocean a few feet believe the floods from rain raised a boat 16,000 feet?

    No no no, the really fun parts come from YEC apologists who try to explain how the flood occurred and where the water went. You find some truly insane shit about “vapor canopies” and “catastrophic plate tectonics.”

    The old earth creationists have some slightly more sane theories about flood mythologies being rooted in a rise in sea levels at the end of the last ice age, but that of course requires the admission that Genesis is something less than word for word literal truth.

  33. says

    How much would it cost to bribe the Turkish government to allow a team of proper science guys to go and search whole goddam mountain range in person. Save the coin spent on billboards and put a couple 100K together to find out once and for all, if there is anything there. Get two or three independent TV stations to broadcast the event.

    Invite every major nut job group to send a couple members with as well. Make the expedition totally transparent and above board.

  34. sailor1031 says

    I believe the real ark sank at sea after a disastrous fire started when one of the dragons sneezed. Everyone had to swim for it but the dinosaurs and dragons were just too heavy and didn’t make it to shore. That’s why you never see any around these days. I don’t have any evidence for this, just a deep abiding faith that it is the Truth.

  35. says

    meg, if the kangaroos could climb in the trees, couldn’t the humans do the same? It also seems like all the animals would have starved what with raining for 40 days and nights and then the period it would take for the water to recede.

  36. kraut says

    “I believe the real ark sank at sea after a disastrous fire started when one of the dragons sneezed. Everyone had to swim for it but the dinosaurs and dragons were just too heavy and didn’t make it to shore”

    You’re so wrong. The dragons survived – remember all those old maps where it says: “here be dragons”. You really think those guys were lying?

  37. ethanol says

    Perhaps before releasing anymore discoveries they ought to read this: “An open letter to people who think that they have found the artifact that will change archeology as we know it”

  38. F says

    “The mountain is treeless. The mountain is volcanic with gases. There is no conceivable way that you could have an object that big on a mountain,” McGivern said.

    And yet here you are, saying that something is there. (Never mind your reasoning against being based on presence of gasses and dearth of trees.) You wanna back up and try that again?

  39. Trebuchet says

    The Turkish government has a long history of prohibiting Christian “Archaeologists” (and I use the term very loosely) from actually looking for the many arks on Ararat. This is usually blamed on security (the mountain being near the Iranian border) but is really for religious reasons. They’d probably be better off letting the Xians dig all they want, under government supervision, and show what fools they are.

  40. chilidog99 says

    A couple of weeks ago, I was driving across southern Illinois, or maybe it was part of Missouri when the only radio stations I could get were bible thumpers. One station had a “pastor” who was explaining how the reason the dinosaurs died out was that they were too big to fit on the Ark.

    And apparently angels mated with humans to create a race of malignant giants. He was very into that, the cross breeding thing.

  41. coragyps says

    But surely, if there had been an Ark, the vessel would have been broken up pretty much as soon as it was no longer needed to be recycled for fuel and building materials.

    You have obviously never tried to cut up gopher wood that’s been soaked in Bible water. It’s tougher than thulium alloy!!

  42. roundguy says

    If only there were a way for the people of earth to work together to raise the temperature of the planet and melt the ice….nah, something like that is ridiculous.

  43. llewelly says

    Why don’t they just admit Satan owns the mountain and Satan will never let their puny god retrieve a piece of the Ark from his mountain?

  44. meg says

    @fifth dentist – not to mention, koalas can be damned vicious if their supply of food is threatened.

    @dingo/chillidog – dare you to tell a creationer the 6 foot tall red kanga evolved from that after the flood!

  45. sezme says

    Good news, I say. Cut that sucker out and ship it to Kentucky. The ice will melt, leaving a beautiful ark and save a lot the Ham man a shed load of money building a new one.

  46. Rip Steakface says

    @Meg

    FYI, records, while old, are still quite well-known, even among the young. I’m a teenager and I’m familiar with records, what they look like, how they sound, and how long they’ve been used. Perhaps not various types of records, but I don’t call it “a big black CD” or anything. Actually, vinyl is rapidly becoming a preferred music medium, since modern CDs suffer from the loudness war.

    Back on topic, it really irritates me when I hear un/misinformed Jebusites constantly spewing forth the claim that we found Noah’s Ark. *sigh* When will they learn?

  47. dingojack says

    Meg – The real mystery is the sloths.
    Even allowing them travel via the Great Circle route (the shortest possible) from Mt Ararat in Turkey to the Amazon Basin (some 11,779 Km) at their maximal speed of 2m per minute (allowing 10 hours of sleep a day), it would take about 19 years and 70 days to get there.
    To do so would put enormous strain on their slow digestion (about a month from mouth to anus) and their folivorious dietary habits (not a lot of foliage in the mid-Atlantic), not to mention having to be at a sloth-sprint for nearly 20 years. And then there is the exinction of the megafaunial Giant Ground Sloths, possiblly by human hunting…
    ;) Dingo

  48. meg says

    @steakface – I’m early 30s. My teenage nieces and nephews take great delight in asking me what is a record when I start telling stories. One asked me this week (when I offered to take her to a concert we were both interested in) if I ‘did moshpits’. sigh

    @Dingo – hadn’t thought of them – could they have travelled on the back of the Thai elephant maybe?

  49. Aquaria says

    Aquaria, their excuse is pretty obvious: if they were to dig it up, they would be proven wrong. So, they won’t dig it up. Ever. They will specifically prevent people from digging it up, claiming that doing so might damage priceless archeological artifacts.

    That’s why I used the example I did.

    But the mountain is volcanic with gases.

    The mountain where the girl was removed from an ice pit–intact–was a volcano.

  50. says

    No, see, the continents were actually all stuck together at that point. Mount Ararat was in the very center of the hyper continent and after the flood all the animals separated to their relative areas. Then after the Tower of Babel incident, God broke the hyper continent up and all the differences you see nowadays is where they were then.

    (Yes, this is honestly what I’ve seen be told… there’s even a map… but I’m not dedicated enough to find it *shrug*)

  51. agenoria says

    Three hundred years ago…

    In October the Royal Society journal archive was made permanently free to access. So I looked up Edmond Halley. He tried – and failed – to explain the flood in 1694. He calculated that 40 days and nights of rain didn’t produce enough water. He suggests comets, a change in the tilt of the Earth’s axis, moving continents… and comes to the conclusion that anything that could have moved enough sea water to produce a flood would have been so violent that even the Ark would not have survived.

    Although he read the papers at the Royal Society, Halley was apprehensive about publishing them, and they did not appear in print for 30 years.

    Some Considerations about the Cause of the Universal Deluge, Laid before the Royal Society, on the 12th of December 1694. By Dr. Edmond Halley, R. S. S.

    Some Farther Thoughts upon the Same Subject, Delivered on the 19th of the Same Month. By the Same

  52. MikeMa says

    The idea of sending real scientists to scour the mountain is laughable. Where would you find enough real scientists who believe this tosh or would be willing to waste their time, energy and reputations on something so stupid?

  53. Aquaria says

    I remember as a kid we had a record (yes, record)

    My son knows about records–because I had probably 1500 of them, until his Dad left them outside during an unusually warm July. HInt: Never trust a husband you’re separating from with your stuff while you’re out of state doing job interviews.

    I still make him apologize profusely for that (among other things). I enjoy knowing that how I got even with him forever convinced him that he’d never dare not apologize for whatever I wanted him to apologize for.

    It’s a gift.

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