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Dec 11 2011

Tea Party Rapper’s Delight

A Baton Rouge, Louisiana website has an interview with E. Eric Guirard, a disbarred attorney turned white, middle aged Tea Party rapper. The caption on the picture cracks me up:

Guirard discovered that he could rap during a shoot for one of his infamous E-Guarantee commercials.

Uh, no. He didn’t “discover” that he could rap, he just started to believe he could rap. Those aren’t remotely the same thing. For your entertainment pleasure, his tea party anthem. You’re welcome.

30 comments

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  1. 1
    Modusoperandi

    Pah! Typical liberals, saying that something is awful simply because it is!

  2. 2
    laurentweppe

    Call me pedentic, but french comedians did a better job at anti-tax rap twenty years ago

  3. 3
    abnormalwrench

    Very reluctantly I clicked that link. I immediately regretted it.

    But then, I can’t complain. Ed spends all that time reading WND so I don’t have to. I guess it is only fair I’m forced to get a small taste of what he does for those of us that don’t have the stomach.

  4. 4
    Cuttlefish

    The nice thing about the internet is, there is no way Ed can physically force me to click on that.

  5. 5
    Marcus Ranum

    Oo

    Now my brain hurts.

    “Don’t tread on me, we’re the tea party”???

  6. 6
    imrryr

    This is a pretty poor Tea Party anthem. “Don’t tread on me, unless I’m gay” would be more accurate.

    On the website for his new endeavor, Guirard postulates that the title track “will become the theme song for the 2012 Presidential race,”

    I hope he’s right.

  7. 7
    holytape

    I can imagine how the making of this video got started…..

    “Sweet, now that we just autotuned the shit out of this song, it sounds pretty flight!”- white rapper MC E. Eric “the Red-Fighter” Guirard

    “You mean fly. I think that’s what the kids this days are calling it. ” – Producer and friend Martin “Ice-teabagging” McFly.

    “Sure, what ever. We need to make a video. With like dancing chicks at stuff.” – MC E. Eric “the Red-Fighter” Guirard

    “You mean shoot the video at a club….” – Ice-Teabagging. “I’m not sure. There could be, you known, actually “Rappers” there. I feel a bit uncomfortable around those people. ..”

    “Don’t worry. I know the hottest club around, it’s called Applebee’s. It’s the shit. It even has potato skins.” –Eric the Red-fighter

    “Yeah, now you’re talking. And I have this 1998 video toaster, and I can add like stacks of money and stars to this video shit. We’ll win like an oscar or something.” – Ice-Teabagging.

  8. 8
    quagmire

    This will surely help the Tea Party counter the perception that they are a bunch of old, stuffy, white people. A rap music video performed by a really cool, relatively young guy, with some sensational dancing taking place in the background and dazzling computer graphics, will probably attract a lot of positive attention from younger voters, African-Americans, Latinos, etc.

  9. 9
    TheAllen

    From the YouTube description field: “no description available”

    I think that should read: “No description possible.”

  10. 10
    davem

    Oh, I dunno. Doesn’t sound any worse than every other rap song out there…

  11. 11
    Mr Ed

    Perfect song for the Tea Party. Sample another artists work to complain about how everyone is trying to steal the fruits of your labors.

    Every time I see the tea party I see people who went to schools paid for by their parents, inherited an infrastructure and economy created by previous generations and made their wealth on deficit spending. Now that they are being asked to do their part they cry and whine.

  12. 12
    matty1

    That’s two posts with horrific attempts at ‘rap’ in as many days. Please stop now.

  13. 13
    fifthdentist

    Alternative title: “Teabaggers’ Ball.”

    Watching this made me hate humanity and want to drink a diesel/antifreeze mixture, then slit my wrists in a warm tub of water.

    The only redeeming feature was the black teenager sitting at the counter looking embarassed to be a part of this mockery.

  14. 14
    N. Nescio

    Unless dude is capable of rhyming the word “kaopectate” I’m not gonna waste a minute listening to his idea of ‘rap’.

  15. 15
    Midnight Rambler

    He can’t touch Hi-Caliber. It’s ON!!!
    Max Blumenthal meets Hi Caliber

  16. 16
    Akira MacKenzie

    Great Cthulhu, this shit is as bad as “Christian Rock!” it’s almost as bad as Mitt “Mudpeople” Romney attempt to woo black voters with his “Who let the dogs out” crack.

  17. 17
    Aquaria

    Oh, I dunno. Doesn’t sound any worse than every other rap song out there…

    So I have to say it again?

    Wow. That’s so original. Nobody’s every denigrated rap that way before in 30+ years of the music form existing.

    Knocking it at this point is like the old fogeys who still trashed rock after 1985. Rap is no different from other music forms: Some of it’s really good. Some is really bad. Most of it is somewhere in between.

  18. 18
    Area Man

    Let me get this straight. The guy is a former ambulance chaser notorious for his obnoxious commercials (every town has one), and then was disbarred for ethics violations.

    And now he’s the one going around ranting and rapping about how the evil parasites in society are sponging off the rest of us.

    This may not be quite as bad as those outspoken Tea Baggers who it turns out take millions in agricultural subsidies or live off of disability, but it’s pretty close.

  19. 19
    dingojack

    On the website for his new endeavor, Guirard postulates that the title track “will become the theme song for the 2012 Presidential race… ”

    And when the teabaggers win they’ll make it the National Anthem!!
    The total humiliation of America project will be complete!
    BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! [/Dr. Evil]
    Dingo
    ——
    PS: I think we’ve met this teabagger before. :)

  20. 20
    Pinky

    Aquaria is again correct. Expressing knee jerk distaste for a genre of music is an indication the dreaded curmudgeon’s disease has set in. Curmudgeon’s disease is somewhat akin to Alzheimer except suffers of curmudgeon’s disease are usually found on their front porch yelling: “You kids get off my lawn.”

    Seriously I think Rap got a, um, bad rap because it was originally used as a form of protest song. “Cop Killer” by the rap group Body Count, fronted by Ice-T, and “911 Is A Joke” by The Game are two examples. Sure the lyrics of the songs may have encouraged violence against police, but the subcultures that produced these rappers have experienced a different America than the white middle class variety.

    The misogyny in some of the lyrics I will not defend. I think misogyny as an expectation in rap music will be left by the wayside as the rap culture matures. In the meantime there should be loud protest against misogynistic themes until it subsides☟. To give the rap industry a pass on its negative themes because it is the music of a beleaguered sub-culture is to infantilize those whose agony produced the music.

    Infantilizing a group is as damaging as suppressing them.

    Woody Guthrie’s “This Land Is Your Land” folk song, written in 1940, was originally a protest song that raised the blood pressure of the rich and their proto-tea bagging minions , now most consider it a patriotic song.

    My point, and I do have one, about disapproving everything in a certain musical genre is to lighten up. Examine your motivations and see if your knee jerk reactions are yours or are you parroting the meme of your in-group.

    There is a lot of good stuff in every music genre, have you tried Tuvan Throat-Singing yet?

    (☞ Clarification: “…loud protest…until it subsides” is by no means a call for censorship. I find the censorship of ideas abhorrent. If an artist continues to use misogynistic themes in spite of complaints, so be it. With the advent of the internet the marketplace can dampen what buyers find distasteful while providing for those who wish to find the item. Government of the majority should not be allowed to quash what it finds inimical.)

  21. 21
    vltava

    This is pretty uninspired stuff. I’m not sure I could even call it rap. I don’t think he knows what rap is.

    I’m a classical musician with an enjoyment of and respect for rap.

    The misogyny in some of the lyrics I will not defend. I think misogyny as an expectation in rap music will be left by the wayside as the rap culture matures.

    I understand that Germany has a thriving rap scene and the topics addressed in songs are diverse and possibly surprising to the uninitiated. Misogyny is certainly hardly a given.

  22. 22
    unity

    I can’t wait for the album,”It Takes a Nation of Millions to Keep The Rich in Gold Bath Taps”, and the follow-up single, ‘Straight Outta the Boondocks’.

  23. 23
    Freeman

    Aquaria #17 & Pinky #20:

    You are right, of course.

    But I think we can all agree that Disco is the exception that proves the rule.

  24. 24
    d cwilson

    Seriously I think Rap got a, um, bad rap because it was originally used as a form of protest song. “Cop Killer” by the rap group Body Count, fronted by Ice-T,

    Totally OT, but anyone else find it extremely ironic that Ice-T has spent the past twelve years playing a cop on TV?

  25. 25
    wheatdogg

    Iambic pentameter can be rapped. So can blank verse. The Onion says so.

    Kidding aside, the natural rhythm of the English language benefited both Shakespeare and modern day rappers. But, you have to have an innate feel for that rhythm, and for the music, which it seems Guirard does not.

    In a similar vein, “middle-aged rapper” is an oxymoron. Unless the dude’s been doing for a couple of decades, he’s going to be a major fail.

    Ice-T qualifies as a middle aged rapper, but he mostly acts now, I think.

  26. 26
    valhar2000

    Well, I am going to agree with davem and Aquaria simultaneously. This guy’s rap isn’t much worse than a lot of the rap that gets dumped on television and radio, but this doesn’t mean that rap is always bad. Some rappers are indeed very good at what they do, and you have to be amazed at the tricks they can pull off even if the genre itself leaves you cold.

  27. 27
    freemage

    Quick note, folks: Body Count was NOT a rap band. Rather, it was a heavy metal/thrash metal band started by Ice-T, who was well known as a rapper by that time.

    The media, of course, always spoke about the album, and more specifically the song Cop Killer, by referring to “Cop Killer, the song by rap singer Ice-T.” Why not “by heavy-metal band Body Count”? Simple–”Rap” meant “Scary Urban Black”; “Metal” meant “Suburban White Boys in the Garage”. Since the cops were trying to get everyone mad at the ‘shocking’ lyrics (in order to justify further militarization of even the most local deputy dawgs), they played up the race angle by ignoring the presence of screaming guitar riffs and the like.

    Ice-T himself commented on the absurdity way back in the day, in an interview with Rolling Stone. It was particularly amusing/appalling since the band also had the song, “There Goes the Neighborhood”, which was about the white-dominated record companies being utterly unable to comprehend an African-American metal band.

    “Don’t they know rock’s just for whites? / Don’t they know the rules? / Those niggers are too hardcore / This shit ain’t cool.”–There Goes the Neighborhood

  28. 28
    ArtK

    Ack. I got through a whole 5 seconds of this. I heard him use the phrase “these are the times that try men’s souls.” That was also used in the intro to the Kingston Trio’s “MTA”, a far better “protest” song, IMO. At least it’s funny.

  29. 29
    scienceavenger

    Log me as another guy who didn’t see it as much worse than most (c)rap out there, and I’ve been trashing (c)rap since Rapper’s Delight and Rapture, so spare me the Curmudgeon comments. Some artists manage to rise above the medium, but overall it remains stupid music for stupid people, country music for the city, which makes it the perfect genre for the Tea Party.

    More Tea (C)Rap Now!

  30. 30
    Worldtraveller

    I think rap gets bagged on because it mostly sucks, kinda like bluegrass.

    Rap pretty much started as ‘breakdancing music’ back in the 80s, and that sucked hard. Although, rap by mainstream white guys like this take it to a new low.

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