I love meat. I dare say no one loves meat more than I do. It’s one of the reasons I can’t be religious — if Jehovah thinks he’s gonna keep me from eating BBQ ribs or shrimp and Vishnu thinks he can tell me not to eat beef, they’re gonna get their asses kicked trying to stop me. But only a moron would think this has anything at all to do with masculinity. Ladies and gentlemen, Herman Cain:
Chris Heath: What can you tell about a man by the type of pizza that he likes?
Herman Cain: [repeats the question aloud, then pauses for a long moment] The more toppings a man has on his pizza, I believe the more manly he is.
Chris Heath: Why is that?
Herman Cain: Because the more manly man is not afraid of abundance. [laughs]
Devin Gordon: Is that purely a meat question?
Herman Cain: A manly man don’t want it piled high with vegetables! He would call that a sissy pizza.
No. A pathetically insecure man trying very hard to cover up his fear of the judgment of others would call that a sissy pizza.