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Zombie Birthers in Arizona

Like the undead that roam the land these days, the birther movement seemingly can’t be killed off even by that silver bullet called reality. Zombie birther Orly Taitz is joining forces with Arizona sheriff Joe Arpaio as his crack investigative team, which probably includes Steven Seagal, works on pushing the stupid yet again.

This week, birther queen Orly Taitz joined radical Arizona immigration sheriff Joe Arpaio — who is conducting his own investigation into Obama’s birthplace — at a Tea Party town hall in Arizona, where she sought to provide Arpaio with further evidence to bolster his case. Arpaio, however, surprised the crowd by telling Taitz that he has evidence even she doesn’t have. And though he can’t tell her, or anyone else, what it is, he promises it will surprise even the harshest critics of the birtherism movement:

TAITZ: Sheriff Arpaio, all I’m asking you, all you need to do, if you please forward this officially to your governor, to your secretary of state, so they can see this before they allow him to go on the ballot in 2012. (applause) [...] Sheriff Arpaio, the whole country depends on you. (applause)

ARPAIO: Thanks for your info. We’re looking at this very closely. I can’t tell you everything, but there could a shock somewhere my guys came up with, and we’ll see how that — again, I can’t talk too much about it. [...] I gotta be careful sometimes, because it’s very complex.

Ooh, I love surprises. Except it will be anything but surprising when Arpaio’s “boys” come up with some half-baked nonsense straight from the pages of the Worldnutdaily.

Comments

  1. lofgren says

    How many times do I have to tell you that silver bullets are for werewolves? You and your silver bulleteers are wasting all of our perfectly good silver with your evidence-free insistence on silver-only zombie hunts. You are leaving our country open to a werewolf attack. A man is entitled to his opinions but not his own facts. Get yours straight.

  2. Mr Ed says

    I’m getting my bet in early, Obama was indeed born in Hawaii but (the shocker) he is a lizard person and there for no qualified to be president.

  3. D. C. Sessions says

    I wonder if anyone told these Constitutional scholars that we don’t vote directly for President, we vote for delegates to the Electoral College?

  4. says

    …sheriff Joe Arpaio — who is conducting his own investigation into Obama’s birthplace…

    So a jumped-up local sheriff still thinks he can keep the black guy down, even when the black guy gets elected President? Yep, racism and white entitlement are still alive and kicking, at least in Arizona. This should give us a pretty good idea what’s really driving the whole anti-immigration movement.

  5. says

    PS: I don’t think Arpaio actually has anything; he just had to make up something because he couldn’t let himself be publicly one-upped by a woman with a foreign accent.

  6. says

    My bet? After shooting down a plane filled with Kenyan terrorists with a crossbow, Steven Seagal tracked down the one survivor and broke his bones one by one until he finally gave up the truth. Obama is Osama bin Laden!

  7. Randomfactor says

    lofgren, it’s no use. Ed’s thoroughly in the pocket of the silver lobby.

    It wasn’t his first choice, but Beck had the gold nuts sewn up.

  8. lofgren says

    So a jumped-up local sheriff still thinks he can keep the black guy down, even when the black guy gets elected President?

    Now, now. There is no need to make this racial. I’m pretty sure Arpaio would cast aspersion on just about anybody to get himself three minutes of media attention, be they black, brown, yellow, red, or Jewish.

  9. D. C. Sessions says

    I thought Arpaio was anti-immigration…

    He is, and as soon as the Kenyan in the White House steps foot in Arizona he’s going to arrest him for being in the country illegally.

  10. says

    They’ll send Steven Segal to Hawaii in his ‘I’m a deputy’ hat and his ‘I’m a deputy’ boots, with his ‘I’m a deputy’ badge and his ‘I’m a deputy’ cap-gun, wearing his ‘Don’t look at me, I’m undercover’ sunglasses.
    And that’s about as serious as I can get over that clown. Now Orly is with him and Joe? What a bunch.

  11. chilidog99 says

    Update-

    Apario moves the goal posts once again

    “All you have to do if you’re the president is go to the Department of Health, or whatever, and release the microfiche,” Arpaio says. “If his birth certificate is on that microfiche — just like the two twins — then he’s cleared.”

    http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/valleyfever/2011/11/joe_arpaio_hawaiian_twins_and.php

    NEXT: Birthers demand the president release a DNA sample to prove he is really “Barack Obama.”

  12. naturalcynic says

    …as soon as the Kenyan in the White House steps foot in Arizona he’s going to arrest him for being in the country illegally.

    Oh, that’ll be fun. I wonder whether the Secret Service will have anything to say about it. And I wonder whether Arpaio will try anything if Obama only goes to Tucson.

  13. MikeMa says

    Why are they picking on poor Obama. Congress certified him. Get looking at all their birth records, microfilm, whatever.

    This story should have died 2 years ago buy it keeps up the zombie act. Taitz getting hit for $20k for being a buffoon in court was a nice bit but too little, really.

  14. d cwilson says

    He is, and as soon as the Kenyan in the White House steps foot in Arizona he’s going to arrest him for being in the country illegally.

    Oh, please, please let him try. And let the beat down he gets from the Secret Service for attempting to assault the POTUS be televised.

    BTW, whatever happened to that team of investigators Trump sent to Hawaii? You know, the ones he said were uncovering stuff that was “amazing”. Did they ever come back or are they still enjoying the sun and tropical drinks on The Donald’s ™ dime?

  15. Brownian says

    I can’t tell you everything, but there could a shock somewhere my guys came up with, and we’ll see how that — again, I can’t talk too much about it. [...] I gotta be careful sometimes, because it’s very complex.

    I just love Coen brothers’ dialog.

    “Look, man, I’ve got certain information, all right? Certain things have come to light. And, you know, has it ever occurred to you, that, instead of, uh, you know, running around, uh, uh, re-electing him, you know, given the nature of all this new shit, you know, I-I-I-I…this could be a-a-a-a lot more, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, complex, I mean, it’s not just, it might not be just such a simple…uh, you know?”

  16. Airplane Butcher says

    There is a great post on Wikipedia about denialism. It explains much about people with these crazy ideas.

  17. Aquaria says

    TAITZ: Sheriff Arpaio, all I’m asking you, all you need to do, if you please forward this officially to your governor, to your secretary of state, so they can see this before they allow him to go on the ballot in 2012. (applause) [...] Sheriff Arpaio, the whole country depends on you. (applause)

    And Joe Biden becomes President. Are you sure you want to go there?

    Or will that be more acceptable to you because he’s not B-L-A-C-K?

  18. d cwilson says

    And Joe Biden becomes President. Are you sure you want to go there?

    But if they hold their breath until they turn blue, McCain will be sworn in. Or maybe we’ll get to hold a special election to elect the “right” kind of candidate this time. I honestly think they believe that.

    I remember seeing comments from birthers from right after the 2008 election who were 100% sure that if they could somehow disqualify Obama from being sworn in, McCain would win as the runner up.

    Never mind that the Constitution explicitly states that if the president elect can’t be sworn in, the vice president elect is sworn in. Never mind that there is no provision for special elections in the Constitution. They’re in their own little delusional world.

  19. says

    Going after Obama is just Arpaio trying to distract attention from his own legal problems, including investigations by the FBI and the federal Justice Department. I wouldn’t be surprised if he ends up his own jail eventually.

  20. jesse says

    Curious, assuming the VP becomes president, (b/c the president-elect cant be sworn in) who becomes VP?

    Just thinking out loud. I know that there’s a constitutional amendment in place now to deal with what happens if the VP becomes incapacitated before the president does. But I wondered how that would work if the guy had just been elected.

    Not important, but kind of interesting… I always thought the whole problem that occurred when Ford was made VP was the first real constitutional crisis we have had here, at least w/r/t succession. (The first was arguably Jackson telling the Supreme Court to jump in the lake when he said he would go ahead with his genocidal ethnic cleansing).

    Hmm.. thinking again, anyone else want to take a stab at real constitutional crises? The Civil War, obviously…

    Sorry to rain on the parade a bit. Just thinking too hard about the birthers actual beliefs makes me want to spoon out my brain to make the stupid stop.

    (Though I really, really would like to see Joe Arpaio try something… I just feel like that would be a really dangerous political signal to every freaky white supremacist group in the country).

  21. Artor says

    Jesse, I think the Speaker of the House is third in line. If Obama and Biden both go bye-bye, that would leave us with President Boehner. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

  22. d cwilson says

    The Speaker is next line if both the president and VP are dead or incapacitated, but he doesn’t become VP if the VP becomes president. If the office of VP is vacated, the president can appoint someone to fill it, subject to Congressional approval. That’s how Ford became VP after Agnew was forced to resign.

  23. dingojack says

    Chillidog99 posted: ‘Arpaio says. “If his birth certificate is on that microfiche — just like the two twins — then he’s cleared.”’ [emphasis mine]
    So why is Arpaio hiding two of the Nordyke quadruplets*?
    Could it be that one is, in actuality, the real Joe Arpaio?
    WHAT ARE YOU HIDING JOE?
    Inquiring minds need to know!
    Dngo

    Twins are, by necessity, in pairs, therefore ‘two twins’ is two pairs, or four individuals. A telling admission on the part of Joe Arpaio, wouldn’t you say?

  24. says

    Is Joe Assholepio aware that Orly Taitz is a joo, a joo from a furrin’ country (Armoldovastan, or something like that) and that the furrin’ country is COMMUNIST???? FFS, won’t someone think of the, of the, of–oh, look, something shiny!

  25. dingojack says

    Clearly the other two Arpaio twins were brought up as ‘Jooos’.
    So that’s what he is hiding: He’s a jebus-killing jew! No wonder he’s hiding his heritage! And he is a Commie-lover to boot!
    Shame Joe, shame!
    Dingo

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