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Oct 30 2011

No Gun Safety Lessons for You!

The owner of a store in Texas — of course — has a radio ad for his business teaching gun safety for people to receive their conceal/carry permits. But he won’t teach you if you’re a liberal. Or a non-Christian. Especially an Arab or a Muslim.

MASON, Texas — It was a message intended to bring in some extra business. A radio ad for a concealed handgun class at Keller’s Riverside Store in Mason, located in the heart of the Texas Hill Country, is causing controversy.
“We will attempt to teach you all the necessary information you need to obtain your C.H.L.,” the ad stated. Forty-five seconds in, the advertisement added a disclaimer.

“If you are a socialist liberal and or voted for the current campaigner in chief, please do not take this class. You have already proven that you cannot make a knowledgeable and prudent decision as under the law.”

The ad continues, going on to say,”If you are a non-Christian Arab or Muslim, I will not teach you the class with no shame; I am Crockett Keller, thank you and God bless America.” …

“The fact is if you are a devout Muslim then you cannot be a true American,” said Keller. “Why should I arm these people to kill me, that’s suicide.”

It’s a stance Keller isn’t alone on. During this interview the instructor fielded nearly 40 calls congratulating him for the ad.

But he’s not a bigot because he’ll wave at them:

“I just will not teach these people,” said Keller. “If I see them on the road, I’ll wave at them if they wave at me. If I meet them on the street, I’ll be polite as they are to me, that’s my nature; I believe in being polite and honest and matter of fact.”< ?blockquote>

I bet he’d even let them use his bathroom.

32 comments

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  1. 1
    democommie

    Not only a bigot but a clueless asshole as well.

    I’m not sure but I think he might have just put himself in the same place as those idiots who refused to let a gay couple book a reception in their function hall. Maybe the lawyers out there know the truth of this.

  2. 2
    democommie

    I got a question. Is this bullshit with not being able to backtrack after leaving a comment a bug or a feature. I find it endlessly annoying. There is also the issue of having to log in when one wants to leave a comment. I mean, WTF?

  3. 3
    DaveL

    There seems to be a pervasive meme in conservative circles that liberals don’t own guns. Like so many conservative beliefs it seems immune to all evidence. In fact, I was reading through an article on a new Gallup poll showing 40% of Democrats and Democrat-leaning independents had guns in their household, along with 55% of Republicans and Republican-leaning independents – yet in the comments many conservative commentators persisted in the belief that liberals never owned guns and almost all conservatives did.

  4. 4
    ManOutOfTime

    “And the sign said ‘Long-haired freaky people need not apply’ … ”

    I wonder if he’ll take our godless money, though? That would be the true test of his magnanimity and moral consistency, not whether he’ll wave.

  5. 5
    Michael Heath

    democommie,

    What operating system and Internet browser application are you using? Are you a guest or share a computer which requires you to log-out of the computer as a user? The reason I ask is that I do not have the same problems you have. For example, I’ve only had to log-in a handful of times since Ed’s started this blog.

  6. 6
    Modusoperandi

    Ads like these are great. It’s nice to find an honest business that tells me enough about it that I can avoid giving them my money.

  7. 7
    Bronze Dog

    Somehow, I doubt I’d trust this guy to be competent in his safety lessons. Anyone who simply assumes that everyone of a particular religion is automatically a threat to the country, despite the fact that they poll as more moderate than Christian Americans, has got to be living life on a hair trigger.

  8. 8
    Dr X

    So no Jews allowed. I wonder how this would have gone over with his audience if he said so explicitly.

  9. 9
    Zugswang

    Well, I look forward to him (and his ridiculous fake cowboy hat) losing his instructors certification for political, ethnic, and religious discrimination.

  10. 10
    dogmeat

    A clueless bigot owning a gun shop in Texas?

    Nah, too easy…

  11. 11
    Bronze Dog

    Oh, yeah. Forgot: Even though Obama never did that mythical apology tour of the world for America, I’ve got my Texas apology tour across the internet to let the world know that some Texans recognize the idiotry and are feeling very sorry for it.

  12. 12
    tbp1

    Sigh… I grew up in Texas, and, honestly, there are some great people there and I had some terrific experiences growing up. But also way too much of this kind of crap going on.

  13. 13
    democommie

    Michael Heath:

    I use MS because everything else that I’ve tried is more screwed up. Other than my roommate, Buddy,–who has no opposable digits–nobody else could use my computers without getting into my house. If you know something that I don’t, feel free to stop by and fix my machine and educmicate me. It will be a big help if you bring some Waygu tenderloins and a couple of liters of drinkable 40 yo single malt. I’ll provide cutlery and glasses.

  14. 14
    democommie

    tbp1:

    If you so called, “Texan moderates” want us to believe you, you must first repudiate those Texafundies who made your state what it has become!;-)

  15. 15
    Chiroptera

    “The fact is if you are a devout Muslim then you cannot be a true American,” said Keller. “Why should I arm these people to kill me, that’s suicide.”

    Mr, Keller, you know those anti-gun “nuts,” the ones who want more restrictions on gun ownership? They say exactly the same thing about you.

    Just sayin’, is all.

  16. 16
    timgueguen

    Betcha he won’t teach Arabs, period. After all how’s he going to know if they’re truly telling the truth about being Christians? Even if he sees them attending church regularly they might be secret jihadists pretending to be Christians.

    Ironically a well known gun writer and firearms instructor is Massad Ayoob, an Arab-American. Keller would probably chase him out if Ayoob ever walked in to his store.

  17. 17
    abnormalwrench

    What I found funny was the methods of payment he would accept. Used guns, silver and gold. Obviously one of those super hard core libertarians. Is it wrong of me to notice a trend of people that infatuated with gold are usually bigots?

  18. 18
    lordshipmayhem

    If you are a non-Christian Arab or Muslim

    Um, a non-Christian Muslim?

    That implies there are Christian Muslims. I can see a bigoted idiot like this believing such a contradictory creature actually exists – like a warm-blooded ectotherm or a “fish” that is actually a beaver.

  19. 19
    cobrien

    I suspect Mr. Keller and others like him would be really freaked out to know how many of us pro-gay, “Darwinist” atheist freethinkers not only own, but regularly carry, train and know how to use guns. And many of us are training more…

  20. 20
    Olav

    lordshipmayhem: non-Christian Arab, or Muslim

  21. 21
    TCC

    lordshipmayhem, to be fair, you’re just parsing it wrong: it’s meant to be read as “If you are a [non-Christian Arab] or [Muslim],” which would be clearer if the order were reversed (“If you are a Muslim or non-Christian Arab”) so that it didn’t look like “non-Christian” was modifying both “Arab” and “Muslim.”

  22. 22
    tbp1

    @14. Note I said I grew up in Texas. I haven’t lived there in a long time and have at this point in my life actually lived longer outside of Texas than in it, although I still go back occasionally to see family and friends. I’m perfectly happy to denounce certain Texans, including the current governor, who has been a total disaster, and the former occupant of the White House (I won’t call him the President, since neither of his elections was legitimate). Consider them denounced, along with Tom Delay, Phil Graham, John Cornyn and lots of other people, too numerous to mention.

  23. 23
    democommie

    tbp1:

    Ya gotta look for the ;-) at the end of the sentence, sir; otherwise you miss the snark.

  24. 24
    Aquaria

    Well, I look forward to him (and his ridiculous fake cowboy hat) losing his instructors certification for political, ethnic, and religious discrimination.

    You did read the part about this being Texas–didn’t you?

    Poor Mason. It’s out in the middle of nowhere and packed to the rafters with stupid and backwards. I think the entire county has all of 4000 people in it, and it’s one of those places where Republicans have run unopposed in every election since the 1990s or so.

    Its main claim to fame is being where that guy who wrote Old Yeller is from.

    Louis L’Amour’s recurring bad guy, Johnny Ringo, became infamous from living in Mason. He was one of the bad guys in the HooDoo wars, which is sort of like a real-life Blazing Saddles saga of some cattle rustlers terrorizing the German farmers and tradesman who made up Mason in the 1800s. The terrorizing included murder.

    Not much else has happened there.

  25. 25
    tbp1

    @democommie: yep, gotta look out for the irony a little better.

  26. 26
    jjgdenisrobert

    This guy might just have incriminated himself under Title II of the Civil Rights Act. If he had just kept that policy to himself, even if he applied it in practice, he might have been able to defend himself. But since he actually made his policy public in a medium which crosses state lines, he just made himself subject to the Act…

    I hope the ACLU sues him under that title…

  27. 27
    observer

    This is actually a very impressive, albeit cynical, piece of marketing. Considering his location, his chance of having either a muslim or a liberal apply to take his class are essentially zero, so no loss in business from that stance. At the same time, he gains cred with the bigots who make up his customer base and harvests tons of publicity. Unless he actually does get into legal trouble he’s golden.

  28. 28
    Assassin Actual

    Ed! You jacked my article! ;)

    Let me share a great troll post from my blog with the greater readership.

    From Human Ape, A pro Darwin Blogger.

    Islamaphobia?

    Since Islam is a terrorist organization, why would Islamaphobia be a bad thing?

    Not all Muslims are terrorists, but virtually all 21st century terrorists are Muslims. If moderate Muslims (as if being insane is moderate) had any moral values they would have thrown out their terrorist organization immediately after the 9/11/2001 religious atrocities.

    If Muslims are too cowardly to grow up and throw out their idiotic violent cult, then they have my total contempt.

    Stay classy, Human Ape

  29. 29
    Aliasalpha

    So if this guy isn’t going to teach (presumably) evil muslims how to use guns safely, that surely means they’re going to be even MORE dangerous. They might even kill people by accident as well as by intent!

  30. 30
    lordshipmayhem

    The Christian Cynic @21: I’m poking fun at the hero’s mouse-built-to-government-specifications level stupidity. (Definition of an elephant: a mouse built to government specs.)

    democommie @13: I use Linux, and usually use Firefox, although I’ve got a couple of other browsers installed and another two or three browsers available… including Internet Explorer, which kind-of-sort-of works in GNU/Linux with a dll interface program called “WINE” (which stands for, “WINE Is Not an Emulator”). Go to Ubuntu and ask them to ship you a disk – first class mail costs you $0. It’ll let you give Linux a spin from your CD drive, without installing it. Remove the disk from your drive and reboot, it’s back to being a Windows box.

  31. 31
    democommie

    lordshipmayhem

    Thanks for the information. I have tried other browsers and they have completely fucked up my browsing capabilities. I’m sure it’s me but I get tired of downloading things that make my entire screen go haywire. But, really, I do appreciate the advice.

  32. 32
    abb3w

    DaveL:

    I was reading through an article on a new Gallup poll showing 40% of Democrats and Democrat-leaning independents had guns in their household, along with 55% of Republicans and Republican-leaning independents – yet in the comments many conservative commentators persisted in the belief that liberals never owned guns and almost all conservatives did.

    Note Democrat≠Liberal.

    That said, I find 40% sounds high; GSS-2010 puts it about 1-in-5 for Democrats, 1-in-4 for liberals, and around 1-in-2 for Republicans and Conservatives.

    FWIW, Gallup poll results 2005; I can’t find a Gallup more recent.

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