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October 12, 2011 at 12:57 pm 
Ed Brayton Political Prof compiles some of the most amusing comments from Sarah Palin’s Facebook page after her announcement that she isn’t going to run for president. And there’s some serious crazy in here. Some are convinced that her failure to run dooms the nation forever. Some are convinced that she is faithfully listening to God. And some believe both at the same time. A few highlights:
—Disappointed is not strong enough to describe the feelings. Crushed might be better. I felt like my best friend had died and I went through the entire grieving process (including crying) in a space of 4 hours. I cried not from my own disappointment, but rather that…if you have passed up what should have been your “Esther” moment then I shudder to thik what will ahppen to my children and grandchildren. Without your uniting foce I am not sure we can be rallied after this and I keep feeling like America has now lost its soul and may well be irrecoverable. That all being said I trust you indeed made this a matter of prayer and that you have peace with the Heavely Father concerning your decision. I pray for you and your family and that God’s blessings may rest upon you until He calls his children home.
—Read this PATRIOTS!! Governor Palin.. We will always stay here for YOU, GOVERNOR PALIN!! WE WILL be HERE, WE WILL be HERE LISTENING to YOU, and WE WILL be HERE READY at ANYTIME for YOUR GUIDANCE, GOVERNOR PALIN!! BECAUSE OF YOU GOVERNOR, WE ARE THE GRIZZLY BEARS OF AMERICA, WHO WILL SUCCEED!! I LOVE YOU GRIZZLY PALIN!! :) =P :D
But this one is my favorite:
—SARAH, I DON’T KNOW IF YOU WILL SEE THIS OR NOT, BUT I AM DISAPPOINTED THAT YOU ARE NOT GOING TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT. I FELT AS THOUGH YOU HAVE GOD IN YOUR HEART AND WOULD HAVE TURNED THIS COUNTRY BACK TO ONE NATION UNDER GOD. THERE ARE MANY GODLESS PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY AND THEY LIVE FOR THE FLESH, THEMSELVES AND GREED. I WISH YOU WOULD CHANGE YOUR MIND SARAH, WE NEED YOU SO DESPERATELY.GOD BLESS YOU.
Yeah, this country needs people who don’t live for themselves and greed. People like Sarah Palin, who quit as governor to make tons of money. People like that.
And what is the deal with wingnuts and the caps lock key? I’ve read the entire Bible and I don’t recall seeing a commandment that said “Thou shalt randomly capitalize words.”
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You wonder if some of those “patriots with the caps lock key” were wearing tall shiny boots and stomping around their basement bedrooms while they paused, every so often, to hammer out another mangled sentence on the keyboard.
Stop. Shouting. At. Me!
That’s because (PERHAPS I SHOULD WRITE THAT AS “THAT’S BECAUSE”—nah that would be daft) that’s because although there isn’t an injunction TO WRITE IN CAPITALS, some of the earliest surviving New Testicle codices were written in uncials.
SO basically the WINGUTTERATI are trying FOR some consistency.
Or not.
I have a teabagger brother and he does the random caps thing, too. He’s only a year younger than I am, went to the same schools I did and often had the same teachers. He reads on occasion, too. I have no idea where he picked up the idea that capitalizing random words – at least once in two sentences – makes his writing more profound.
As far as the Palin fans, that’s what they remind me of: fans. Fans like Kathy Bates’ character in Misery.
Damn proof reader…can’t get decent proof readers now-a-days…
that’s wingnutterati, i mean WINGNUTTERATI
Eternal sunshine? That’s more like a broken strobe with laser effects….it gives me a headache.
WOW!!!
About all i got out of that is, the INTERNET is a CRAZINESS multiplier.
Not seeing why Palin deserves her FANS. She hasn’t done anything noteworthy except sacrifice two of her own children to the god of ABSTINENCE ONLY sex ed. and rather SENSIBLY decide to make lots of money INSTEAD of trying to be a responsible ADULT politician.
My theory is that it’s easier to just leave the caps lock key down when you’re typing with one hand.
When you capitalize everything, that’s not random.
Palin clearly inspires the worst in political theater. Oh, wait. These loons are serious?
Damn you, Pierce Butler, you beat me to it.
But I have to admit that I have a tendency to overuse italics. Does that make me as crazy as these nutjobs?
i think the overuse of caps just means they are channeling Sam Kinison. AH AH AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
I call it FRS — Fundie Randomcap Syndrome. While not much research has been done in the field of FRS, there appears to be some correlation to carrying, but rarely if ever reading, a religious text that originated thousands of years ago in a desert land and onset of the disease. Random, unfocused rage at numerous groups and people who share no discernible relationships — often accompanied by the uncontrollable urge to walk around carrying signs with misspelled words while dangling teabags from the ears — also tends to be common in sufferers’ histories.
While rarely fatal, to date FRS has not been successfully treated.
Medical officials caution normal people to avoid those who exhibit FRS symptoms, if at all possible. For those with relatives, the best course of action is to smile and nod in agreement with whatever nonsense they spout. The following phrases can help soothe the afflicted:
* “Yes, Aunt Edna, I do agree that Hussein Obama could be the antichrist.”
* “IRS is spelled like it sounds. You’re doing a wonderful job with those Crayons, dad.”
* “Please pass the potatoes.”
* “I’m intrigued with your theory of an alliance between the homos, Muslims, atheists and Guatemalan spitting panthers.”
Is random (or bulk) capitalization the digital equivalent of standing on a soap box on a street corner and randomly (or just) shouting ?
The actual content sure seems similar but for the street corner folks it is usually stunningly clear that they need some kind of mental services.
(Are they crazy or is that just Bluetooth in their ear ?)
Too bad 1,000-point font isn’t available in the intertubes.
[...] enjoy for those of you who aren’t regular readers, and I read an article Ed wrote called The Eternal Sunshine of the Wingnut Mind. It’s a compilation of a few of the comments that the faithful put on Sarah Palin’s [...]
There’s that obsession over other people’s sex lives. Better to have someone in office who’d regulate that kind of behavior, right?
I can imagine Palin reading some of this and thinking, Jeez, how over the top. I think.
I’m afraid there are naught but godless people, in this country and the world. Most of them just don’t know they’re godless.
The last of Sarah’s commenters was partly right. I, for one, live for the flesh and myself. I had some flesh just last night, braised lamb shank with potatoes and carrots and a port-wine reduction sauce.
Greed, not so much, although I did make sure enough lamb was saved from the teenage boy in the house for my lunch today.
I think it has something to do with the tendency for morons to accept whoever is loudest as being right.
Thus, it’s hard for them to believe they’re right IF THEY’RE NOT SCREAMING.
You’re crazy. It’s totally biblical. “And the LORD said…”
Obviously Ed, you haven’t read the entire Bible. The 3rd book of Wingnuticus says quite clearly that “thou shalt randomly capitalize to maketh thy point more compelling.” It’s right after “drilleth thou drilleth,” and “when two men kisseth as they kisseth a woman then a puppy shall be slayed by the Lord.”
Am I emotionally dead if I can’t even imagine the idea of me crying because a politician decided not to run for a higher office?
James Hanley – Overuse of italics, eh? Could be you’re just being Latinate. [/dry scholastic joke] – Dingo
Sarah Palin is the Justin Bieber of American politics.
Hey!’The Beeb’ has (at the very most) a single quantum of talent, Palin on the other hand can’t even manage that.
Dingo