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Sep 23 2011

The Rank Stupidity of Pat Boone

Pat Boone is making the rounds of Tea Party events in California and saying all kinds of idiotic things along the way. Like this:

“I don’t. I was in Kenya about a year and a half ago and everybody said, “you know he was born here.”…Why else would he be hiding all his records? He is spending millions of dollars so we do not have his records..And experts have already looked at and been able to verify that this long form document is a fraud.”

He writes for the Worldnutdaily. What else would you expect?

“Growing up in Indonesia, he used to read the Koran in Arabic..so that was instilled in him as a young boy…he hasn’t celebrated any Christian holidays in the White House, but he does Ramadan.”

This is a lie. In fact, Obama has celebrated every Christian holiday at the White House. He’s also attended lots and lots of prayer breakfasts. George W. Bush celebrated Ramadan at the White House too.

“I have many friends, and always have had, who are homosexual..and Rock Hudson was one. So I’m not a homophobe..but I’ve seen some of the consequences of the lifestyle…everyone who opposes marriage between a man and a woman was born of a man and woman.”

Uh, Pat…everyone who is alive was born of a man and a woman. And the majority of people who actually oppose marriage between and a man or a woman are straight, not gay. Gay people wanting the right to get married doesn’t mean men and women won’t be allowed to get married anymore.

Pat Boone is a special kind of stupid and crazy.

19 comments

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  1. 1
    slc1

    Uh, Pat…everyone who is alive was born of a man and a woman.

    Not to nitpick here but fetuses conceived via in vitro fertilization are technically not born of a man and a woman naturally. E.G. Mary Cheney’s two children.

  2. 2
    Bronze Dog

    I was born of a man and a woman, the old fashioned way, and you’re an idiot if you think this heterosexual is opposed to men and women getting married if they both want to. Of course, I make allowances for you disagreeing with the ‘both’ part, since, in my experience, fundamentalism is a leading contributor to rape cultures.

    This is about your perverse worship of the “sacred” phallus and vagina, and how that idolatrous obsession makes you opposed to love-based marriages that involve alternative combinations of parts.

    The reason I’m sticking up for same sex marriages is, in part, to protect myself from nutbars who’d likely find some reason (like my atheism) to nullify my marriage rights if you’re allowed to nullify one other group’s marriage rights. An attack on same sex marriage is an attack on all marriage.

    The other big part is that I’m not an insensitive jerk who wants to prevent people from sharing their lives and being happy together. I don’t get joy out of seeing innocent people suffer.

  3. 3
    Ramel

    Uh, Pat…everyone who is alive was born of a man and a woman.

    Not to nitpick here but fetuses conceived via in vitro fertilization are technically not born of a man and a woman naturally. E.G. Mary Cheney’s two children.

    Of course it depends on how you use the words “born of”. For example you can also go with Shakespeare’s “no man of woman born” bit and say that people brought into the world be caesarean section were not born at all, although they were borne by women.

    I also love the “I’m not a homophobe, but” he throws in theree before proving that he is.

  4. 4
    dingojack

    Uh Pat – here’s a Wikipedia page to ponder (remember to put down the plastic sheeting before you view. Brains and skull are a bitch to get outta shag).
    Have you placed the plastic sheeting down? Then let’s begin your education
    So, who are the ‘men’ and who the ‘women’ in this senario, Patty?
    Dingo
    —-
    The universe isn’t just stanger than you know, it’s stranger than you can know.

  5. 5
    386sx

    To think that this is the same man who starred in the wonderful wonderful romantic comedy State Fair and the fabulous sensational covers of Ozzy Osbourne songs that he has wonderfully sung.

  6. 6
    Hercules Grytpype-Thynne

    Does Pat actually think that “not opposing marriage between two men or two women” is the same thing as “opposing marriage between a man and a woman”?

  7. 7
    raven

    So, who are the ‘men’ and who the ‘women’ in this senario, Patty?
    Dingo

    While it is true that there are many all female species that reproduce parthenogenically, there is no evidence that brine shrimp, aphids, or lizards oppose heterosexual marriage.

    Same thing with apomictic and self fertilizing hermaphrodic plants. I doubt soybeans or Himalayan blackberries spend a lot of time worrying about what gay or straight people do.

  8. 8
    dingojack

    Raven – “ I doubt soybeans or Himalayan blackberries spend a lot of time worrying about what gay or straight people do.

    You doubt it, but it it true? ;) – Dingo

  9. 9
    386sx

    everyone who opposes marriage between a man and a woman

    Truly an amazing instance of projection. Albeit an upside down and backwards and all scrambled up projection. Still truly amazing. Classic.

  10. 10
    alanb

    How come all the Kenyans know that Obama was born in Kenya but the evidence isn’t available to anyone not also born there? Is it something that is psychically transmitted only to Kenyans, or do Kenyans have “birthdar,” which is like gaydar but more accurate?

  11. 11
    eric

    I was in Kenya about a year and a half ago and everybody said, “you know he was born here.”…

    And Christopher Columbus has three graves, and the Wright Brothers have umpteen houses scattered between N.C. and Ohio. Communities like to claim hisorical figures. Consider it the secular equivalent of collecting wood from the true cross; the claim bears no relationship to the reality.

    everyone who opposes marriage between a man and a woman was born of a man and woman.”

    Yeah, clearly gay rights supporters don’t get how vitally important marriage is for continued procreation. Those bastards!!! Heh.

  12. 12
    Aquaria

    Pat Boone has always been a sanctimonious, self-aggrandizing asshole. He was a lousy singer, and his nutbag daughter was, too.

    Go choke on your white shoes, Pat, you fucking douchebag.

  13. 13
    Larry

    And Christopher Columbus has three graves, and the Wright Brothers have umpteen houses scattered between N.C. and Ohio.

    And I and 15 million other baby boomers attended Woodstock in ’69.

    Assuming that Pat isn’t lying here about “everybody saying” (which, obviously, he is), just cause they do, don’t make it so.

    He sounds like Crazy Eyes Bachmann and her retarded 12 year old tale.

  14. 14
    John Hinkle

    “I don’t. I was in Kenya about a year and a half ago and everybody said, “you know he was born here.”

    That “everybody” refers to Pat’s personal assistant.

  15. 15
    DaveL

    I was in Kenya about a year and a half ago and everybody said, “you know he was born here.

    I don’t understand why hearing this claim secondhand from a bunch of numpties in Kenya who weren’t there and have no evidence is supposed to somehow be more credible than hearing the exact same thing directly from a bunch of numpties in the U.S. who weren’t there and have no evidence.

  16. 16
  17. 17
    Michael Heath

    Pat Boone:

    I was in Kenya about a year and a half ago and everybody said, “you know he was born here.”

    DaveL:

    I don’t understand why hearing this claim secondhand from a bunch of numpties in Kenya who weren’t there and have no evidence is supposed to somehow be more credible than hearing the exact same thing directly from a bunch of numpties in the U.S. who weren’t there and have no evidence.

    Ahem, Corinthians 15: 3 – 6:

    . . . Christ died for our sins in accordance with the scriptures, 4 that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the scriptures, 5 and that he appeared to Cephas, then to the twelve. 6 Then he appeared to more than five hundred brethren at one time, most of whom are still alive, though some have fallen asleep. [Emphasis added - MH]

  18. 18
    skmarshall

    News Flash:

    American singer travels to Kenya

    Has-been Fifties star Pat Boone, having heard there there is one last black recording artist with a hit record that Mr. Boone had never covered, is in country searching for a copy of the recording.

    The septuagenarian crooner told a reporter, “There should not be one authentic ‘race record’ in the world that i haven’t done a lifeless whitebread version of. I’ll travel to the ends of the Earth if need be!”

    The black songwriter, having successfully arranged to have all copies of his hit record hidden for the duration if Mr Boone’s visit, is relaxing in Nairobi. Asked for comment, he said, “I don’t think I could stand to hear him sing my song. Remember his cover of Fats Domino’s ‘Ain’t That A Shame?’”

    Sources reveal that while failing to turn up a copy of the recording he was seeking, Mr Boone is now investigating the “Birther Conspiracy” and many Kenyans are having great fun regaling him with stories of President Obama’s “birth” here in Kenya.

  19. 19
    democommie

    Eric:

    ” Consider it the secular equivalent of collecting wood from the true cross; the claim bears no relationship to the reality.”

    Not if you factor in the theory* of 900′ JESUS with frikkin’ lazer eyez! I did the math, it would take all of the bristlecone pines and about half the last stand of virgin redwood forest in northern CA to make that puppy!

    Pat Boone’s singing career; going blandly where no man had gone before.

    * Go ahead, I dare you to teach the controversey, secularhumanistboy!

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