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Sep 15 2011

Jacobs: Perry Prayer Rally Stopped Native American Cannibalism

Cindy Jacobs is trying top her own insanity — and she may have succeeded. Get a load of this chunk of crazy:

You study the area and you find out what happened? What did the indigenous people worship? If they did blood sacrifice, like we found some areas that were very, very violent because the former culture was a murderous, violent area, like in Texas here and all of the coast around Houston and Galveston and some of that area, the Native American people were cannibals and they ate people. And so you can see a manifestation of that in the churches where people turned against people and kind of cannibalized other people’s ministries. So there’s been a lot of prayer over that in Houston, Texas, they’ve done a lot of intercession over that and broke the curses on the land. We just had a prayer meeting in Houston a little a week ago, the governor of Texas, really as an individual instigated this, and 35,000 people showed up to pray and it was only a prayer meeting called within three months, three month period of time. So what happened? The land is starting to rejoice, you see, because of that prayer.


34 comments

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  1. 1
    speedwell

    The land around Houston is so joyful that it spontaneously burst into flame.

  2. 2
    Marcus Ranum

    This kind of anti-catholic hate speech must be stopped!

    Oh, that’s just cannibalism in the mind?

  3. 3
    Akira MacKenzie

    Sigh. More evidence of America’s crippling neglect of the mentally I’ll.

  4. 4
    raven

    Littlegreenfootballs.com:

    Jeffrey Dahmer Believed in Evolution’

    Charles Johnson
    Science • Mon Feb 2, 2009 at 9:13 pm PST • Views: 227
    Creationists on the Texas State Board of Education are no longer satisfied with simply preaching that Darwin’s theories lead to atheism and Nazism and killing people; the

    latest email making the rounds in Texas blames the theory of evolution for cannibalism: ‘Jeffrey Dahmer Believed in Evolution’.

    Cannibalism must be a widespread and serious problem in Texas. They are always opposing it and blaming their cannibalism problem on one group or another.

    The creationists claim that it is the teaching of evolution that causes cannibalism.

    I don’t see how. According to Prophet Cyndi Jacobs, it started with the pre-European Native Americans. I doubt that the Indians taught evolution to their kids in grade school or even heard of Darwin.

  5. 5
    The Lorax

    Wait… time-traveling prayer… what?

    Were they praying at 88 miles per hour? Into a police box? Did they send the prayer around the Sun at warp 10? Wait, disregard that last one; that would only take the prayer back to the middle of the 20th century.

    *gasp* They could pray that the Holocaust never happened!!!

    Wow, I’m liking this. Now we can pray for things to HAVE ALREADY HAPPENED! :D

  6. 6
    Pierce R. Butler

    … some areas that were very, very violent because the former culture was a murderous, violent area, like in Texas here…

    Like the old saying goes, never blame on a red neck what you can blame on a red skin.

    Amazingly, Wikipedia confirms that the Atakapa & Tonkawa peoples who lived near the Texas coast before the European conquest actually did have a reputation as people-eaters.

    Jacobs is losing her touch…

  7. 7
    raven

    Cyndy Jacobs and the fundie xians of Texas really have no basis to criticize cannabilism. Ritual (symbolic) cannibalism is a central feature of Texas life.

    1. Xians enact a cannabilistic ritual every Sunday, at least. It’s called communion. According to the Catholics, it is the real flesh and blood of a godman called jesus that they consume.

    2. Human child sacrifice (by medical neglect) is a serious problem in fundie xian death cults. No one knowns the actual number but it is somewhere around 10-100 children sacrificed to the Sky Monster every year.

    If Cyndy Jacobs church is a faith healing one, quite probable, chances are they have sacrificed both children and adults to the Invisible One.

  8. 8
    imrryr

    So what happened? The land is starting to rejoice, you see, because of that prayer.

    Sorry to hear that, Texans. I know how annoying it can be when the land starts rejoicing. I swear, if I hear my lawn sing The Battle Hymn of the Republic one more time I’m gonna replace it with AstroTurf.

  9. 9
    chilidog99

    There is no cannibalism in Christian theology, absolutely none, and when I say none, I mean there is a certain amount.

  10. 10
    michael

    She couldn’t care less what the Freethought bloggers say about her. She’s preaching to the converted, and as long as they keep giving her money, she’ll keep on feeding them bullshit.

    Next thing she’ll be telling them that hurricanes contain messages from god, and HPV injections will send the children mad – or have I drifted off into the realms of fantasy?

  11. 11
    raven

    I swear, if I hear my lawn sing The Battle Hymn of the Republic one more time I’m gonna replace it with AstroTurf.

    If that is all your lawn is doing, don’t worry about it.

    Sometimes lately, when lawns in Texas “rejoice”, they do it by sending up towers of flames.

    Cyndy Jacobs claims to be a prophet. If the Texas fundies were really serious about their religion, she would have long since disappeared under a pile of thrown rocks.

    False prophets are to be stoned to death according to the bible. And all the self proclaimed fundie prophets have proven to be false prophets by the criteria of Deuteronomy.

  12. 12
    eric

    Reading that I got the wierd feeling she was stealing sclocky backstory from old horror movies. The land is cursed because of restless cannibal indian dead? Cindy, Poltergeist 3 was only a movie. A bad one at that. And you should at least pay the studio royalties if you’re going to use their material.

  13. 13
    Larry

    So all these years, Houston has been situated on cursed lands.

    Who’d of ever guessed?

  14. 14
    Aquaria

    You study the area and you find out what happened? What did the indigenous people worship? If they did blood sacrifice, like we found some areas that were very, very violent because the former culture was a murderous, violent area, like in Texas here and all of the coast around Houston and Galveston and some of that area, the Native American people were cannibals and they ate people

    I guess this moron hasn’t read her own Hebrew Fairy Tale (as if that’s a surprise):

    And thou shalt cause a bullock to be brought before the tabernacle of the congregation: and Aaron and his sons shall put their hands upon the head of the bullock. And thou shalt kill the bullock before the LORD, by the door of the tabernacle of the congregation. And thou shalt take of the blood of the bullock, and put it upon the horns of the altar with thy finger, and pour all the blood beside the bottom of the altar. And thou shalt take all the fat that covereth the inwards, and the caul that is above the liver, and the two kidneys, and the fat that is upon them, and burn them upon the altar. But the flesh of the bullock, and his skin, and his dung, shalt thou burn with fire without the camp: it is a sin offering.

    Thou shalt also take one ram; and Aaron and his sons shall put their hands upon the head of the ram. And thou shalt slay the ram, and thou shalt take his blood, and sprinkle it round about upon the altar. And thou shalt cut the ram in pieces, and wash the inwards of him, and his legs, and put them unto his pieces, and unto his head. And thou shalt burn the whole ram upon the altar: it is a burnt offering unto the LORD: it is a sweet savour, an offering made by fire unto the LORD.

    And thou shalt take the other ram; and Aaron and his sons shall put their hands upon the head of the ram. Then shalt thou kill the ram, and take of his blood, and put it upon the tip of the right ear of Aaron, and upon the tip of the right ear of his sons, and upon the thumb of their right hand, and upon the great toe of their right foot, and sprinkle the blood upon the altar round about. Smearing blood on ears, thumbs, and big toes. And thou shalt take of the blood that is upon the altar, and of the anointing oil, and sprinkle it upon Aaron, and upon his garments, and upon his sons, and upon the garments of his sons with him: and he shall be hallowed, and his garments, and his sons, and his sons’ garments with him.

    –Exodus 29: 11-21

    There’s more, but I think that’s enough biblical blood, guts and gore for one day.

  15. 15
    Aquaria

    Amazingly, Wikipedia confirms that the Atakapa & Tonkawa peoples who lived near the Texas coast before the European conquest actually did have a reputation as people-eaters.

    Many of the Texas tribes did some people-eating. Just like a lot of other primitive peoples did. It was rarely for food in the case of these tribes, but because of their animist/magical beliefs.

    Cabeza de Vaca famously reported that he’d told a Karankawa clan that his men had eaten their own who became wounded or died during their expedition through Texas. The Karankawa were reportedly horrified at the idea–because one just didn’t eat such unworthy flesh! The Karankawa believed that eating the flesh of the warriors and leaders they conquered in battle would have them magically absorb the eaten’s wisdom, strength, bravery, etc. So the thought of trying to absorb weakness was abominable to them.

    And this is different from the Eucharist…how?

  16. 16
    chilidog99

    I wonder if Cindy Jacobs ever gets together with Janice Shaw Crouse to discuss how the early settler women of Texas were eaten by lesbian canibals. . . .

  17. 17
    Didaktylos

    I’d call her batshit crazy – but the Friends of Chiropteran Faeces have taken out an injunction against me …

  18. 18
    Chiroptera

    Did she forget her point halfway through the paragraph?

    These people really shouldn’t be smoking the herb before they hit the stage.

  19. 19
    roggg

    The land is rejoicing? Sorry, which mystical belief system was the animistic one? Because I could have sworn it was supposed to be the other one…

    She’s not making any sense. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to interpret this minute of semi-random words and phrases. Maybe it’s just me.

  20. 20
    eric

    Many of the Texas tribes did some people-eating…

    Dunno about Texas tribes per se, but it was also pretty common for native peoples all over the world to tell white colonials that those other folks were cannibals. It seems that leveling a cannibalism charge on an enemy tribe was a pretty good way to get the devils with guns to go kill/pacify them – doing the dirty work for the ‘friendly’ tribe, so to speak.

    I’m not saying ritual cannibalism didn’t ever happen. I’m sure it did. But I would take any cannibalism stories with a grain of salt. Or maybe a pinch. Heh.

  21. 21
    Pieter B, FCD

    And back in January, Cindy said

    …let’s talk about this Arkansas pattern and say, could it be a pattern? We’re going to watch and see. But the blackbirds fell to the ground in Beebe, Arkansas. Well the Governor of Arkansas’ name is Beebe. And also, there was something put out of Arkansas called “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” by a former Governor, this was proposed, Bill Clinton. As so, could there be a connection between this passage [Hosea 4] and now that we’ve had the repeal of the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, where people now legally in the United States have broken restraints with the Scripture because the Scripture says in Romans 1 that homosexuality is not allowed.

    It could be because we have said it’s okay for people who commit these kinds of acts to be recognized in our military for the first time in our history, there is a potential that there is something that actually happened in the land where a hundred thousand drum fish died and also where these birds just fell out of the air.

    ‘Tis very sad when cousins marry.

  22. 22
    shoeguy

    My memory of my Texas history lessons learned in Dallas in the mid 50s is a bit faded but the indians of the early european explorers were quite friendly. In fact they were called the “Tejas” tribe by the priests infesting the South central Texas area in the sixteenth century. The indians introduced the Spaniards to the tortilla and tamale, perhaps opening the first taco stand known to europeans. Cannibalism wasn’t mentioned, but this was the Texas educational system and there were many things cleaned up and lore elevated to fact by the system. I don’t think it has changed much.

  23. 23
    shadowwalkyr

    Wait . . . a Christian prophet claims the land itself is sapient? I always knew Christianity wasn’t truly monotheistic, but they usually aren’t so blatant about it.

    Ten points for honesty, I guess.

  24. 24
    imthegenieicandoanything

    I believe the proper response to this, unless Ms. Jacobs (oh, BURN!) is safely locked with a padded room, is to back away slowly, murmuring gentle sounds and smiling, until enough distance exists to run like hell.

    Um…. what in the world are you talking about, Ms. Jacobs? And why are you being videoed saying it? I wouldn’t want such evidence made of my insanity.

    Clearly she’s one of the crazy=evil sort of “Republicans”. And I do NOT wish they would all die, just fail.

  25. 25
    Budbear

    I’ve just watched that video 4 times and I still can’t figure out what the fuck that lunatic is talking about. What the hell is she a doctor of? Now I have a headache. Time for some aspirin.

    From answers.com: “Cindy Jacobs used to be a scriptwriter for the hit television series Batman.” Hmmm. That could explain a lot.

  26. 26
    pa747sp

    Murderous? Violent?
    Um, why does that sound to me like the Mission Statement for the RCC circa about 500AD to about 1800AD?

  27. 27
    ambulocetacean

    Cabeza de Vaca

    Best. Name. Ever.

  28. 28
    kimberlyherbert

    I guess she missed the part about George Bush Park bursting into flames Monday. There are cracks in my school’s playground that are 6 inches wide and about a foot deep. Kids can’t play soccer or football because we are afraid of them putting their foot down a hole and getting hurt. The ground in this old swamp is drying up and we are hitting 100 regularly this late in September. If this is them saving the land I hate to see them curse it. (Maybe they should then it might rain.

    Also, I purpose we drop Perry into the next wildfire with 25% of the gear a firefighter should have since he thinks they don’t need 75% of their budget. His hair should go up long before he hits the ground.

  29. 29
    386sx

    This lady is a fake. She lies about seeing angels and getting messages from god. And crazy lies about miracle healings. I saw her on some video doing the ol’ growing leg trick once. Not that nobody already knows she’s a huckster. Lol. There’s nothing too crazy for this lady to stoop to.

  30. 30
    wheatdogg

    I heard some folks prayed last week to end World War II. Whatta ya know? It worked! Praise God!

  31. 31
    Walton

    Aquaria: Don’t forget Judges 11, in which Jephthah sacrifices his virgin daughter to God in exchange for military victory over the Ammonites. (No one seems to have been terribly interested in what the daughter thought about this.)

    30 And Jephthah vowed a vow unto the LORD, and said, If thou shalt without fail deliver the children of Ammon into mine hands,

    31 Then it shall be, that whatsoever cometh forth of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return in peace from the children of Ammon, shall surely be the LORD’s, and I will offer it up for a burnt offering.

    32 So Jephthah passed over unto the children of Ammon to fight against them; and the LORD delivered them into his hands.

    33 And he smote them from Aroer, even till thou come to Minnith, even twenty cities, and unto the plain of the vineyards, with a very great slaughter. Thus the children of Ammon were subdued before the children of Israel.

    34 And Jephthah came to Mizpeh unto his house, and, behold, his daughter came out to meet him with timbrels and with dances: and she was his only child; beside her he had neither son nor daughter.

    35 And it came to pass, when he saw her, that he rent his clothes, and said, Alas, my daughter! thou hast brought me very low, and thou art one of them that trouble me: for I have opened my mouth unto the LORD, and I cannot go back.

    36 And she said unto him, My father, if thou hast opened thy mouth unto the LORD, do to me according to that which hath proceeded out of thy mouth; forasmuch as the LORD hath taken vengeance for thee of thine enemies, even of the children of Ammon.

    37 And she said unto her father, Let this thing be done for me: let me alone two months, that I may go up and down upon the mountains, and bewail my virginity, I and my fellows.

    38 And he said, Go. And he sent her away for two months: and she went with her companions, and bewailed her virginity upon the mountains.

    39 And it came to pass at the end of two months, that she returned unto her father, who did with her according to his vow which he had vowed: and she knew no man. And it was a custom in Israel,

    40 That the daughters of Israel went yearly to lament the daughter of Jephthah the Gileadite four days in a year.

    Yeah… I’d have to say, that looks like human sacrifice to me.

  32. 32
    dingojack

    Chilidog999 (#16) – posted: “I wonder if Cindy Jacobs ever gets together with Janice Shaw Crouse to discuss how the early settler women of Texas were eaten by lesbian canibals.”

    Now Cindy is pitching plots of really bad porno films to her fellow suffers of mental illness? – Dingo

  33. 33
    Aquaria

    My memory of my Texas history lessons learned in Dallas in the mid 50s is a bit faded but the indians of the early european explorers were quite friendly. In fact they were called the “Tejas” tribe by the priests infesting the South central Texas area in the sixteenth century.

    Your memory is wrong.

    Texas is the Anglo corruption of Tejas, which in turn is the Spanish corruption of the Caddo word, táysha, meaning “friend”. The Caddoes were concentrated around the modern Texarkana area, extending from there into Arkansas, Oklahoma, Louisiana and East Texas. A famous state park dedicated to Caddo burial mounds is just SE of Rusk, deep in the Piney Woods.

    The tribe of South Central Texas would have been the Tonkawas, or perhaps some of the southern Wichita tribes, Wacos or what have you.

    The indians introduced the Spaniards to the tortilla and tamale

    In Mexico, not Texas. Tamale comes from the Nahuatl (Aztec) word tamalli.

    Cannibalism wasn’t mentioned, but this was the Texas educational system and there were many things cleaned up and lore elevated to fact by the system. I don’t think it has changed much.

    It wasn’t taught in the 70s when I was in school in Texas, either, and my son learned nothing about it in the 90s. I doubt it’s become part of the curriculum since, because it is a bit disturbing for young minds.

  34. 34
    dogmeat

    It’s quite common that native groups were branded with the “cannibal” tag. It was a convenient way to justify the often no-quarter attacks on these groups, the slaughter of women, children, and old people, the destruction of their fields and homes, etc. For example, the “bloodthirsty” Aztecs are often purported to have killed 50,000 people or more a year in Tenochtitlan alone. If these claims were accurate, by the time Cortez arrived there would have been roughly three people left and two of them would have been slow roasting the third over an open fire. To my knowledge, to date, archaeological digs have failed to find evidence to support this claim regarding the Aztecs. The highest figure I’ve seen suggested that we should (quote), remove a couple of zeros to get to a more accurate figure.

    Similar claims were made about the Woodlands groups, much like the claims of cannibalism, the even more common claims were that they were rampaging savages killing women and children. In these cases it was much more common for the European Americans to attack non-combatants than it was the other way around.

    Of course there were practices that were horrible, there were brutal assaults on one another, etc., but if you listen to all of the bogus claims regarding native peoples you get a rather morbid cartoon caricature that combines all of the worst elements of human nature into a tiny, primitive, backward society. A mountain of racist bull excrement that could put the mythical Tower of Babel to shame.

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