Underwear Bomber Doesn’t Get the Law

Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, the infamous underwear bomber, is filing some rather interesting handwritten motions with the federal court in Detroit. Like he wants to be released because only Allah can judge him:

The Defendant Abdulmutallah, is a Muslim who believes in Allah and His messenger Muhammad [Peace be Upon Him], and believes that all Muslims should only be ruled by the law of the Quran.

The Defendant is being unjustly detained, in the United States of America, and subjected to the Rule of Man.

The Defendant Abdulmutallah moves the Court to order his release, and that the Defendant only be judged and ruled by the law of the Quran.

And this:

On the 24th of August 2011, between the hours of 5:00 am to 10: am, in the Holy month of Ramadan, Defendant Abdulmutallah, in Defense of Muhammad (Peace be Upon Him], [the Messenger of Allah to Mankind who is being defamed and abused by the United States of America] assaulted several officers from his cell.

As a result, Excessive Force was used to restrain Defendant Abdulmutallah who was already in a closed cell on his own.

The Defendant moves the court to order that no Excessive Force be used on Defendant Abdulmutallah in justly defending Muhammad (PBUH) and his Religion.

[The United States legally allows the defamation of Muhammad (PBUH), and by allowing so it is defaming and Abusing Him] PBUH

Abdulmutallah is representing himself, though he does have a court-appointed attorney to assist him. Somehow I don’t think those motions are going to fly.

14 comments on this post.
  1. daveau:

    Not logical. Allah can judge him in prison, and reward him in heaven. In the meantime…

  2. Chiroptera:

    Isn’t the fact that he was even allowed to file these motions a sign of creepin’ Sharia?

  3. Doug Little:

    Just another religious wacko to add the the pile. I hope he rots in jail for a very long time [Peace Be Upon Him].

  4. jeevmon:

    The Pam Gellers of this world will see this and shriek about sharia law infiltrating our courts and sapping our precious bodily fluids. But pretty much the exact same rhetoric filed by Warren Jeffs or Kent Hovind gets crickets.

  5. Dennis N:

    He’s not American, and from what I can tell, has not spent any extended time in America or studying American law. That said, you would have to be an idiot to file those motions.

    I think it comes down to pathetic solipsism. You don’t go to court under the laws you wish were on the books, you go to court under the laws that actually in place.

  6. Bronze Dog:

    My cynical mind is asking the question, “Now, what if he were Christian?”

    He’d probably get a few picket lines worth of far right fundies to support him, probably including some nutjobs denouncing the separation of church and state for preventing the government from going his way.

  7. evilDoug:

    The defendant requests that the court recognize that it has no power over him, therefore the defendants ask that the court do the following for him:

    Um …

  8. drivebyposter:

    Doesn’t it occur to him that Allah is judging him and that’s why he is in prison?

  9. abb3w:

    In the event of a conflict between legal systems, custody is 999/1000 of the law. If Allah wishes to assert exclusive jurisdiction and exclusive judgement, he must obtain exclusive custody. Exclusive custody may potentially result in the event of a formal diplomatic petition from a suitable emissary of Allah, once the emissary’s diplomatic bona fides have been presented to the State Department and formally accepted for accreditation; this, however, is part of the political and diplomatic process, and beyond judicial scope. Such exclusive custody would also presumably be obtained post-mortem in the natural course of time that is eventually inevitable regardless of this case’s outcome; it may be that an omniscient and omniequanimitable deity expects exclusive jurisdiction in due course, and sees no need for hastening intervention to call the defendant to a further bar.

    At present, however, the defendant remains in the custody and jurisdiction of the sovereign United States, and no other sovereignty has presented grounds to disputing this custody. It is presumed that, as is the usual course, any Higher Agency is inclined to allow defendants to answer in courts of this world for allegations of crimes committed therein, with any needful Final Judgement being exercised in the hereafter.

    Habemus Corpus, ergo Habemus Auctoritas.

  10. feralboy12, der Ken-Puppe Sie au├čerhalb in 1983 verlassen:

    Sorry, Mr. Abdulmutallab. Allah has decreed that henceforth, you shall be known to all throughout history as “the underwear bomber,” with all the dignity that accompanies such a title.

  11. Pierce R. Butler:

    How does one assault a corrections officer from within a closed cell?

  12. cag:

    If Al(lah) did not want Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab to rot in jail, Al would not have put him there. How dare Umar question the (imaginary) will of Al.

  13. DaveL:

    Abdulmutallah is representing himself

    Yeah, I had pretty much guessed that much after the first sentence. My thanks goes out to every judge who’s ever had to read a motion like this and then put together an actual lucid legal opinion in response.

  14. freemage:

    Feralboy12: Is “crotch-bomber” an acceptable nickname for him, then? I’ve always prefered it to “underwear bomber”.

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