Allah Sent the Earthquake to Punish America!

Here’s an amusing twist on our theme from the last few days, a crazy Muslim claiming that the earthquake was sent by Allah to punish America.

According to a posting titled “Allah’s punishment on Americans” on the Shoumokh Al-Islam jihadi forum by someone writing under the name Abu Ibrahim, “Allah has struck New York and the capital city Washington by an earthquake as a punishment for their disbelief.”

“Such a little earthquake that measured 6.0 has terrified the tyrant American people and forced them to leave their houses and places of work,” Ibrahim continued…

“[T]his earthquake is a warning to the crusaders to stop their infidel policy, abandon their crusader religion and convert to the true Islamic religion,” Ibrahim explained. “If they don’t listen and don’t stop, Allah will strike them again by an earthquake or a hurricane. You have no other way but to repent and move away from your path that will take you to the abyss.”

And now…irony! Andrea Lafferty of the Traditional Values Coalition actually makes fun of that Muslim absurdity:

That didn’t take long. Islamists are already crowing that the earthquake was a warning from Allah against the perfidious, materialistic, and thoroughly vapid Great American Satan… or something to that effect.

Thankfully, the most damage “Angry Allah” did was knock off some pictures from the shelves and turn some pictures a bit askew.

Apart from a handful of nighttime aftershocks and perhaps a few terrified little ones taking the opportunity to snuggle in mom and dad’s bed, the vast majority of Allah’s so-called wrath added up to your average Christmas party with the relatives. No deaths, no injuries, and minor damage.

Maybe you should tell that to your own allies, like Joseph Farah, Pat Robertson, Daniel Lapin and many Christian right leaders who are claiming the same thing.

18 comments on this post.
  1. randomfactor42:

    Don’t see how trinitarians could argue with that.

    God the Father=Old Testament JHWH
    God the Son=New Testament Jesus
    God the Holy Spirit= Quran Allah.

    Seems perfectly clear who’s in charge now…

  2. The Lorax:

    Tick off another from Nature’s blight list
    All things considered, the godS must be pissed.

  3. imrryr:

    “Such a little earthquake that measured 6.0 has terrified the tyrant American people and forced them to leave their houses and places of work,” Ibrahim continued

    I live and work in Maryland and was in my office when the earthquake hit. I didn’t even get out of my chair. In fact, a few seconds after it was over I remember thinking, “Did I just imagine that?” But since I didn’t hear any screaming from the neighboring offices, I just went back to work.

    The wrath of Allah is mighty indeed!

  4. MikeMa:

    @imrryr
    Rather, the stupidity of religion is mighty indeed.

  5. teawithbertrand:

    I’m pretty sure the earthquake was caused by the Flying Spaghetti Monster. His message is that Christians, Muslims and all other faithful fuckwits need to get their heads out of their asses.

  6. D. C. Sessions:

    It makes sense, though. It’s summertime, and the clothing is easy.

  7. Occam's Blunt Instrument:

    Maybe allah sent the earthquake as a way of showing which of his minions were dumbass windbags.

  8. cag:

    Bam

  9. ManOutOfTime:

    I wish this Shamoukh forum would beat every Xian dumbass pundit to the punch on every natural disaster and every other Double Rainbow that comes along. Then the Jeebus Machine would be overwhelmed with either denying YHVH’s hand, or shading it with “right plague wrong deity” mush. I’m sure the Shamoukites’ god “hates fags,” too. I mean, pass the popcorn or falafel or whatever. All hu akhbar, indeed!

  10. Aquaria:

    Michele Bachmann, meet Abu Ibrahim. Abu Ibrahim, meet Michele. You guys have so much in common, I just know you’re going to love each other!

  11. bananacat:

    If the worst Allah/God can do is a rumble that causes no death, injury, or destruction, then why should I heed his warning, even if he existed?

  12. daveau:

    I think Abu Ibrahim and Michele Bachmann should face off in a no-holds-barred cage match to determine whose god it was, and why he is so mad at the east coast.

  13. D. C. Sessions:

    why he is so mad at the east coast.

    The east coast has nothing on Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Alabama …

    So why are they getting pounded instead of Illinois and Oregon?

  14. daveau:

    @D. C. Sessions

    Abu Ibrahim and Michele Bachmann show no interest in those states. Must be a different god. I have no idea which god is in charge of IL, but the weather has been lovely lately.

  15. chrisc:

    In 2003, theocratic Iran (officially the Islamic Republic of Iran) was hit by a large Earthquake, killing at least 26,000. Allah seems to work in mysterious ways.

  16. iangould:

    Gaddafi’s English language propaganda site Mathaba.net has been all over this.

    Also Hurricane Irene.

    http://www.mathaba.net/news/?x=628357

    http://www.mathaba.net/news/?x=628304

    “The 5.8-magnitude earthquake that struck Washington D.C., didn’t cause widespread damages or injuries, but it did put cracks in the Washington Monument.

    As one of America’s most important landmarks, the 127-year-old Washington Monument standing 555-foot high is the world’s tallest obelisk. It was built to honor the first president of the United States of America – George Washington.

    The US National Park Service spokesman Bill Line confirmed that there is a four-foot-long by one-inch-wide crack on the Washington Monument, located at the very top of the monument on the west side of the pyramidion. The Park Service also said that the structure has four “significant” cracks.

    After unconfirmed reports suggested the monument was tilting, park officials said it suffered damage, but it isn’t leaning.

    Interestingly, as the symbol of the capital and America’s power, the Washington Monument is the only structure damaged by the earthquake in Washington D.C.

    The monument will be closed indefinitely for repairs. But all other monuments that were temporarily shut down for inspections after the earthquake, including the Jefferson and Lincoln Memorials, are now open for business.

    The quake occurred during the “Night of Power” which is the last 10 days and nights of Ramadan, and during the launch of the ground invasion of Libya by U.S. and other NATO allied mercenaries.

    Muammar Qaddafi who is leading the resistance for defending Africa’s wealth from the bankrupt western states invading Libya, is a devout Muslim who refused to allow Libya to be tainted by capitalism.”

  17. wheatdogg:

    My money’s on Thor, in retribution for the movie of the same name. I’m not sure gods appreciate everyone learning they are just spoiled kids with a bad attitude, even if it’s true. Jehovah, I’m looking at you.

    Zeus, put down that thunderbolt! Poseidon, no more hurricanes! That’s enough, now! Time out, everyone!

  18. Budbear:

    Right. Because natural disasters like earthquakes, tsunamis, volcanic eruptions and cyclones never occur in Muslim dominated countries like Turkey, Iran, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Bangladesh, and Indonesia. Allah be praised. I truly think that religion makes you stupid.

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