All This Over Ritual Cannibalism?

Wow. Much Ado About A Wafer. Who’d have thunk that this story had legs? As mild as this could have been, I suppose that if you piss off enough people, a number of them will react badly. As many have commented, the law cannot possibly take the side of the church in this case without setting a nasty precedent. Support one religion, and where does it end?

P. Z. Meyers’ bad behavior toward the body of Our Savior
Is at minimum appalling, and it’s blasphemy at most!
This is more than merely naughty—this is Christ Almighty’s Body—
There’s a special place in Hell for those who desecrate the Host!

Dr. Meyers would be safer if he just ignored the wafer;
‘Cos the Prince Of Peace has followers who will not mess around.
There’s no blogger, nerd, or hacker who can simply steal a cracker—
These are people who have re-defined the phrase “too tightly wound”.

Now it’s more than merely prattle, it’s a First Amendment battle;
Can the Catholics demand the recognition of their views?
And if transubstantiation is supported by the nation
Will the other faith communities each, likewise, get to choose?

When you lean toward theocratic, it is far from automatic
That the legal recognition of your rituals will follow—
If our goal is “not offending”, then the list is never-ending,
And the spectrum of religions is too big a bite to swallow.

If the nation acts as proxy for one form of orthodoxy
Then the other True Believers could be truly in a lurch;
But our brilliant founding fathers saw through this and other bothers
And decided to prohibit the endorsement of one church.

If believers were offended, that’s what Myers had intended—
While it may not be polite, he has the right to be a jerk;
It’s the nation’s Constitution that prevents his prosecution,
Sure, it’s not the Holy Bible, but it kinda seems to work.

Friday Limericks–Greece!

This is not the only country on my trip, but I am certainly glad it is one of them! I have wanted to go to Greece since… I think my first presentation on the Parthenon in 4th grade, or maybe earlier, reading the children’s versions of Greek mythology. Of course, ignorance being what it is, I have had quite a learning experience here. As someone (Between Mark Twain, Ben Franklin, and Will Rogers, there is a 99% chance of one of them having said just about anything) is alleged to have once said, “it’s not what you don’t know that gets you in trouble, it’s what you do know, that ain’t so”. I have such vast quantities of both categories here that it would be tough to say which wins out.

But anyway, it is Friday the 13th and I have had a wonderful day. So the Friday Limerick topic is Greece–broadly defined.

There once was a lady from Hellas
Quite a favorite with all of the fellas
From them all, she chose one,
But was having such fun
With the rest, that she just wouldn’t tellas

There once was a Byzantine Monk
In a bit of a Byzantine funk
So he took his small flock
To the top of a rock
Where he thunk, and he thunk, and he thunk
[imagine a photo of a Meteora monastery here. I will edit it in when I have bandwidth to load it.]

It’s slimy, yet furry and squeaky;
I think you’ll agree that it’s freaky;
But beyond all dispute
Is the fact that it’s cute–
And I found it in Thessaloniki!

(this one is worth clicking on–it’s just so cute!)

Never A Good Sign

It should make you worry when you
Find your cousin on the menu
At a pleasant Greek Taverna at the Galaxidi shore
It was Greece–so I was fated
Once I’d eaten, and was sated,
To be punished by Poseidon like I never was before
We were looking at the ocean
When there came a funny motion
Just a little instability I felt beneath my feet
Then the sidewalk started moving
Like the gods themselves were proving
We were just a little early when we called them obsolete

We had traveled through the epicenter town about 2-3 hours before the earthquake hit. The photo above is indeed from the Taverna in Galaxidi where we had just eaten when the sidewalks started imitating the ocean.

Where In The World Is The Digital Cuttlefish?

I am wand’ring the earth, to its ends
But I feel that I must make amends
While I’ve traveled, I fear
I’ve neglected you here–
So a picture, or two, of some friends!

(I took these just a couple of days ago…)

Thank you all for your wishes and greetings; I have a bit of forced downtime today on a bus ride, so I may have time to compose something… or maybe to sleep, perchance to dream…

And A Fishy On The Trunk

Anna Lemma reports (and has been for some time) on a Ford Dealership radio ad that explicitly alienates Atheists, while pandering to an 86% Christian majority.

When the rapture sweeps the planet
I know Heaven’s my reward,
But for now my piece of paradise
I bought from Henry Ford

It’s a broken-down jalopy;
It’s a rusted piece of junk;
But there’s Jesus on the dashboard
And a fishy on the trunk

Sure, it leaks a little oil,
And it doesn’t “turn”, but “lurch”,
Seven miles to the gallon
But it gets me to my church

You can hear me from a block away
And smell last weekend’s skunk,
But there’s Jesus on the dashboard
And a fishy on the trunk

Got a brand-new bumper sticker
Saying “What Would Jesus Do?”
Now it’s holding up my tail light
With some duct tape and some glue

You can almost hear the “Kieffe and Sons”
In every “Rattle-Clunk”,
But there’s Jesus on the dashboard
And a fishy on the trunk.

I saw a car that had a fish—
A Darwin fish, with legs!
I fixed it, with a wrecking bar
And half a dozen eggs

Don’t mess with me or with my God
You heathen, godless punk—
I’ve got Jesus on my dashboard
And a fishy on my trunk.

Friday Limericks–Graduation Day

So this weekend is graduation day for a lot of places around here. Last weekend for some, next weekend for others. Here at Cuttlefish U., commencement is this weekend, but grades are not due until next week. Which means that I am still grading while the students are celebrating. Still grading while I am trying to prepare for the Big Life-Changing Event that I will write about in a day or so (with luck, after my grades have been delivered).

I know that some of my readers have yet to suffer through even one graduation, and others have gone through 4 or more of their own, let alone their children’s or their students. So we have many different perspectives here; I can’t wait to read them!

It’s the end of their four (or more) years
Countless classes, and countless more beers
In a moment or two
All their loans will come due
That’s the reason for graduates’ tears!

With such pride that it’s swelling their chests,
We see Seniors escorting their guests
To their chairs on the field—
But too soon, it’s revealed:
Cuttlefish is still grading their tests!

Through the traffic and crowds I’ll be weaving
Looking flustered—but looks are deceiving;
Once you’ve gotten to know
Them for four years or so
It’s not always a joy when they’re leaving.

In the line, as you slowly advance
To receive your diploma, perchance
It would soften your frown
If you thought, ‘neath that gown,
That the speaker is not wearing pants.

Oh, wait…

Pharyngula reports on an opinion poll from Britain, revealing widespread belief that god is, in fact, male.  From the Lancashire Evening Post article:

A majority of people think God is male with nearly half of the population in Britain believing that all religions discriminate on grounds of gender.
Only 1% of people think of God as female, with 62% considering God to be male, the online survey conducted earlier this month of 1,050 adults in Britain found.

It certainly seems clear to me that somebody was made in somebody’s image.

My God is pretty self-assured, and quite convinced He’s right.
He made me in His image, so He’s green-eyed, blond, and white;
And He’s very, very wrathful with the folks who disagree;
He’ll hold a grudge for centuries—Oh, wait—that might be me.

He’s insecure enough to want to hear how much you love Him
And He never will forgive you if there’s someone else above Him;
He’ll jealously react to any threat to His domain
By smiting all His enemies—Oh, wait—that’s me again.

He’ll make the world a better place for those who think like Him
For those in opposition, well, the situation’s grim;
He’ll call jihad, or else crusade—some form of Holy War
Because He knows He’s always right—Oh, wait—that’s me once more.

He’s handsome, bearded, steely-eyed, deep-voiced and somewhat haughty
So wonderful, his naughty bits are never seen as naughty
But perfectly proportioned, grand and firm and never shrinking,
A miracle of awesomeness—Oh, wait—that’s wishful thinking.