Have Yourself A Cuttlefishy Christmas

I am as busy as a very busy cuttlefish can be, but I see that people have been visiting the site looking for Christmas verses. So I have two things: first, one that is not complete, but was written because I was giving a final exam, and there were extra pieces of paper and #2 pencils, and I couldn’t help myself. It’s only three verses, prompted by Ed’s reporting that Bill O’Reilly has finally won the War Against Christmas. [Read more…]

The Grinch And The Atheist (or, revisionist history down in Whoville)

The Grinch hated Christmas, and all its abuses,
But blamed just himself—he would make no excuses—
They told him (naïve, he had no need to doubt)
That his undersized heart—that was what it’s about.
The Christians could claim the town square as their own;
They could feast on roast beast and not throw him a bone.
The Grinch blamed himself; he’d accepted the dictum
That framed him as villain while truly the victim. [Read more…]

The Perfect Holiday Gift For Roy Zimmerman?

Ok, I’m not supposed to be online, but I did see something I just had to share. If you are like me (I pity you), you have all of Roy Zimmerman’s CD’s, most of them signed. And you sing along. To all of them but maybe one, because your mouthparts can’t quite move that fast. And speaking of that song, it’s just about the season to give it more play: [Read more…]

Planting A Seed…

So I sold only a handful of (War Against) Christmas books (e-version here)–not terribly surprising, since it was a last-minute idea that came to fruition right at the time I had the least possible free time to promote it. The only bad thing about it is that with fewer units sold, there was relatively little profit to be sent off to charity.

So I rounded up. As far as I know, there aren’t a lot of organizations that promise that over 100% (in this case, about 103%) of the profits will go to charity. But that’s how we roll here at the ‘fish.

The cause supported (and still worth supporting, although the fund-raiser is only going on a couple more days) is the Women’s Leadership Project (about which more here). Like I just said, there are only a couple more days in their fund-raiser; yes, they have met their matching challenge, but as I look out my window, and note that the thermometer here reads -6.7 F, I can’t help but think ahead to when I’m planting my garden… and I know how much gardens (both literal and metaphorical) can cost, and how much more they are worth. The WLP could use as much seed money as you can spare them–so if you don’t want to buy my book (same deal applies–at least 100% will go to charity–the WLP if still available, even if I have to hand bills to Sikivu Hutchinson myself, or another cause if need be)–you can give directly. Here’s the direct link–you only have a couple of days.

“Giving Tuesday”

I think I like this much more than Cyber Monday. It is, apparently, Giving Tuesday. Charities of all stripes are participating in the antidote to Black Friday, Gray Thursday, Local Saturday, and Cyber Monday.

Nice.

There are thousands of wonderful charities to choose from. There is also a far less well-known opportunity, where the downside is that you have to trust my judgment and take my word as to the distribution of funds (I will make it transparent, I promise); the good news is, you get the collection of humorous, satirical, and semi-serious Christmas and “War Against Christmas” verses, so there’s something in it for you, too.

There is nothing at all in it for me. 100% of proceeds will go to charity.

The ink version:
Support independent publishing: Buy this book on Lulu.

The pixels version:
Support independent publishing: Buy this e-book on Lulu.

Atheist Christmas Verses, Poems, Cards…

… and all proceeds going to charity.


So checking the site stats today, I note that it is the beginning of the season for searching google for “atheist christmas poem”, “atheist christmas cards”, “atheist xmas” and the like.

So I just thought I’d link again, to the only collection you need. Some 17 verses, 32 pages, and all proceeds going to charity (given that I won’t see the money for a couple of months after you buy, I am not naming a charity yet, but I will be transparent.)

And yes, if you didn’t see it, my second collection of verses is out–profits from this one are going to me. It, and all other options (including some free downloadable ones) may be found here.

Christmas For Sarah, And A Cookie For You

Jolly old Saint Nicholas
Lean your ear this way
Sarah has a book to sell
Coming out today!

Christmas eve is coming soon
Under grave attack!
Baby Jesus, do not cry—
Sarah’s got Your back!

Sarah takes on atheists;
Shows them who is boss
Good-bye “Happy Holidays”
Hello, public cross!

Sarah will remind us all
What Christmastime is for:
Peace, and Love, and Brotherhood…
And manufactured war!

Santa is the enemy
Jesus is the lord
Sarah’s book is fifteen bucks—
Easy to afford

Christmas is commercialized
Everywhere you look—
Sarah is the antidote…
Better buy the book!

[Read more…]

It’s Christmas. Officially. Already. (No, Really; I’m Not Making This Up.)

There once was a time, so the old fogeys say
There was no “Christmas Season”, just one Christmas day
There are history books into which we could delve
That say Christmas expanded—its days numbered twelve
It doesn’t seem strange now, to most of us living,
But Christmas, for some, begins right at Thanksgiving,
And the very next day is the day to start shopping,
For over a month, if you can, without stopping

This year, Venezuela, for best or for worst,
Declared Christmas began this past Friday
, the first.
It’s officially Christmas—start decking the halls,
Make some punch and some fruitcake, and head for the malls
Where you’ll get Silent Night and Away in the Mangered,
Because everyone knows Christmastime is endangered…
When “The War Against Christmas” gets bloody and hot,
Just remember, this year, which side fired the first shot.

Via NPR (at above link):

Perhaps Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro is taking a hint from big U.S. retailers: For the sake of happiness, Maduro said, he declared an early beginning to the Christmas season.

“Today, on this first day of November, we decided to declare the arrival of Christmas, because we want happiness for all people,” Maduro said.

Now, I forget–will Fox approve because Yay, more Christmas!? Or is this part of the commercialization of, secularization of, and thus destruction of Real Christmas? It’s getting hard to tell these days–like the Civil War, it’s brother against brother, Santa against Jesus, Three French Hens against Three Wise Men, redeeming mankind and saving souls against redeeming coupons and saving money.

All I know is, if I can get my damned cover art to work, this blog will be your one stop for all your Christmas and Cephalopodmas shopping needs.