I cancelled today's meeting with the failing @nytimes when the terms and conditions of the meeting were changed at the last moment. Not nice
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 22, 2016
I read it in the paper! Or,
I saw it on TV!
As interpreted by journalists
Who sussed it out for me;
It’s the newest news from science—
What the latest studies show—
Though I only read the headline,
That’s enough: I’m in the know! [Read more…]
Now the Granite State has seen a
Final ad from Fiorina
And they’ve said goodbye to Bush
And Cruz and Trump.
Kasich, Rubio and Christie
Fail to leave the state all misty
(As for them, they cannot wait
To leave this dump.) [Read more…]
There’s action on action, and thrill upon thrill
Explosions and chases, there’s more than your fill
A director who works at the peak of his skill
And a cast well-adept at their duties
Reviews are impressive—the best of the best—
If doubters had questions, it passes the test
A movie to savor… but, just one request:
Don’t see it, cos females have cooties [Read more…]
No, not me, of course–to defend that particular rant, you need the help of experts. So it’s breitbart.com that shows us how everybody in the liberal media got it wrong. [Read more…]
They claim their way is tolerant
They claim my way is vile
I call them less than human
But I do it with a smile [Read more…]
You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
The truth is, it isn’t just pencils.
The truth is, it isn’t just pens.
The truth is, it isn’t just pictures and words,
As we look through the media’s lens. [Read more…]
Making fun of politicians
Is a noble, grand tradition—
In the freest of societies, the poking never stops!
But… be careful with your freedom—
Watch your fingers; you might need ‘em
You can razz the politicians, but you mustn’t fuck with cops. [Read more…]
The Grinch hated Christmas, and all its abuses,
But blamed just himself—he would make no excuses—
They told him (naïve, he had no need to doubt)
That his undersized heart—that was what it’s about.
The Christians could claim the town square as their own;
They could feast on roast beast and not throw him a bone.
The Grinch blamed himself; he’d accepted the dictum
That framed him as villain while truly the victim. [Read more…]
The proud pastafarian, posed for the picture
A colander capping her head
An atheist activist, genius to boot,
As the news stories well may have read—
There’s no story in that; that won’t sell any ads,
Let’s just write about kittens instead…
Oh, wait—did we mention she used to do porn?
So that’s how the story was led. [Read more…]