I Missed It! Twice!

Damn, I must be busy. I missed this year’s Cephalopod Awareness days completely!

More than that, I missed my own blogoversary! As of October 10, this version of The Digital Cuttlefish (yes, there was a private version before it) is 7 years old! Seven years! I have no idea how many separate original verses, but I would be surprised if it wasn’t close to 200 per year–and maybe one or two per month were actually pretty good.

I’m still busy, so the comments are for you to dive into the archives and locate exactly the moment I started going downhill. I’ll start by claiming “August, 2032″.

And, on a more serious note, thank you for your readership, your support, your wonderful comments, and pretty much everything an obsessive versifier could possibly want or need.

Spock, Kirk, Atheism, and Freethought Blogs

I’ve just met a straw-man called “Spocking”; it’s shocking,
But some might believe it’s how atheists act!
Where logic is king, not emotion—the notion
That every decision is based upon fact
These atheists put their reliance in science
Forgetting illusory “feelings” or “dreams”
Eschewing all base superstition; their mission
Is reason, perfected… or that’s how it seems.

What all people need, to be working, is “Kirking”,
Humanity’s hero—with all of his flaws
Kirk’s quirks are not bugs with space creatures—they’re features!
And Spock’s an affront to humanity’s cause!
It’s Kirkish to strive, boldly going—no knowing
The odds, cos what counts is emotion, not thought
The godless feel nothing, quite clearly (or nearly)
They’re cold, heartless bastards… except that they’re not. [Read more…]

“It’s Nature’s Law–You Know, Like On Noah’s Ark”

Since the dawn of the world Humanities men mated with women, and women with men… it’s the way of nature. No mention of gay couples surviving the floods on Noah’s Ark, they were left to swim.

That’s what I call sticking the landing. That was a real response (I think) in a thread on marriage (formerly known as “same sex marriage”). [Read more…]

A Modest Proposal For Virginia

As the midnight hour was coming,
As the seconds ticked and tocked,
Same-sex couples in Virginia
Found their new foundations rocked
When the SCOTUS, in their wisdom,
Had their right to marry blocked
Till the justices can weigh in on the fight.

While they’re pondering the problem,
I suggest here’s what they do
To reframe the situation
With a new and different view:
Simply block the right to marry
For the heterosexuals, too,
Then we’ll see if it’s a fundamental right. [Read more…]

Florida Church Cancels Funeral Of Married Gay Man

“I’m not trying to condemn anyone’s lifestyle…” –T. W. Jenkins, pastor at the New Hope Missionary Baptist Church in Tampa, FL
Translation: “I don’t have to try, after so many decades of practice.”

Julion’s death was expected
He’d been dying a number of years
Still, the end will leave none unaffected
And his husband shed plenty of tears

But the church where he was to be buried
Then found out that the dead man was gay
Worse than that, was the fact he was married
So they turned the man’s husband away

In this church, by this cross, ‘neath this steeple?
It could never be done, can’t you see?
Lest parishioners learn—gays are people
And the church is as wrong as can be [Read more…]

The Pennsylvania Decision

These rulings are just so much fun to read; I have enjoyed the care with which each judge has carefully and deliberately addressed every argument, no matter how stupid… and then read the comment threads, where ignorant yahoos bring up those same arguments as if it were the first time. [Read more…]

On Realizing That Corporations Are People Too… And That You’ve Fallen In Love With One.

My darling corporate entity
I’ve loved you from the start
One hundred ten percentity,
With more than just my heart
I told you what I meantity
In poetry and prose
You showed your discontentity
And that’s the way it goes.

My sweetheart business enterprise
I tried to win you back
I told you my intenterprise—
You told me what I lack
My capital I’d spenterprise
But you would not invest
My future’s in descenterprise—
My value is depressed.

My love, my all, my syndicate—
Forever and beyond!
I note, to my chagrindicate,
My word’s my only bond
I’d fight through thick and thindicate
To have you as my bride
I know I cannot windicate;
You know, at least, I tried

My darling corporate entity
I’ve loved you from the start
One hundred ten percentity,
With more than just my heart
I told you what I meantity
In poetry and prose
You showed your discontentity
And that’s the way it goes.

Yeah… put “loving you back” as another difference between the kind of people known as “corporations” and the kind of people known as “people”. “Going to jail” is another thing corporations can’t do. We’ll find out pretty soon whether “discrimination” is yet another.