Headline Muse, 2/25

To the editor: Please, I am urging—
There’s a phrase that could really use purging;
There are words we can choose
To say “win” or say “lose”—
But why must Santorum be “surging”?

Headline: Down to the wire in 2-man GOP race in Michigan

Oh, yeah.

FLINT, Mich.—Republican Mitt Romney fought Saturday to prove he is the strongest challenger to President Barack Obama, an increasingly difficult task given the tight race in his native state of Michigan against surging conservative Rick Santorum.

The first time a headline spoke of “Santorum surging from behind”, it was clever and disgusting. Now it’s just old. Can we maybe up the ante with “what can we expect next from this asshole?”?

Headline Muse 2/24

In the story, below, that I’m linking,
Santorum’s support is found shrinking;
Has he lost his appeal?
Could it be (if it’s real)
Just a sign that the voters are thinking?

Headline: Santorum lead shrinking in national poll

When your popularity is based mostly on the fact that you are not Mitt Romney, the more people find out about what you actually are, the less support you get. Rick Santorum, it will surprise none of you to hear, is a despicable excuse for a vertebrate biped. If pressed to say something nice about him, I will admit that he loves his family and puts his daughter’s health ahead of his campaigning. But he puts his campaigning above the health of every other woman in the country, so take this as a very provisional compliment. To know Rick Santorum is to despise him, and nationwide, the voters are getting to know Rick Santorum.

Headline Muse, 2/22

When a bill that would force a physician
To rape patients, against own volition,
Hits the national news
And we see voters’ views
Watch the governor change his position!

Headline: Governor of Virginia Calls for Changes in Abortion Bill

Gov. Bob McDonnell of Virginia reversed his position on Wednesday on a bill requiring women to have an ultrasound before undergoing an abortion, saying he wanted changes in the measure before he would sign it.

The bill had drawn intense national attention, with women’s health groups holding a large protest over the weekend and spoofs aired on left-leaning comedy news shows.

So…When the mob is running you out of town, get out in front with a baton and pretend you are leading the parade.

Ok, full disclosure–I’m watching/listening to the GOP debate, and watching them sprint to the ultra-extreme-right, while putting this post together. I want a questioner to ask them about lynching; at the rate they are going, they’ll gladly lap one another (to the cheers of the audience) in the race to the infrared spectrum.

Today’s headline does not claim tat McDonnell is doing a damned thing for the right reasons. McDonnell saw the weathervane spinning, and hopes his current stand gets him A) donations and B) re-elected. Period. Fucking period.

(now the debate is between fences and double fences on the Mexican border. I expect the double fence plans come from Berlin; they did a good job with that. Tip: invest in razor wire, machine guns and tear gas.)

Signing off now, before my frontal lobe bleeds and shorts out my keyboard…

Headline Muse, 2/6

As a glance at his face will determine
He is far less mechanic than vermin
He’s the bucks and the brains
Astroturfing campaigns—
Multimillionaire asshole, Rick Berman

Headline: Multimillionaire Lobbying Consultant Rick Berman Plays A Blue Collar Mechanic In Super Bowl Anti-Union Ad

Very short story, but worth clicking through to see the pic. Looks straight out of “Undercover Boss”. What a detestable man.

Headline Muse, 1/26

For three decades, aboard Alaska Airlines
You got food trays that featured some prayer-lines
But the passengers spoke
And the owners awoke,
And the Psalms become no-longer-there-lines

Headline: Alaska Airlines Ends Prayer Cards On Flights

The idea to distribute the cards in the first place came from a marketing executive who borrowed the idea from another carrier as a way to differentiate Alaska’s service, according to the airline’s statement.

But that view has now changed. “A business that aspires to be diverse and inclusive shouldn’t have a religious agenda. Religious beliefs are deeply personal and vary greatly among our customers” Egan said in an emailed statement.

Headline Muse, 1/22

As republicans lengthen their fight
We see democrats smile with delight
It’s a full, headlong chase
To win over their base
So they’re sprinting their way to the right

Headline: Romney, Gingrich Appeals To GOP Right Raise General-Election Hurdles

Currently, the race to the right has already been marked by a crowd booing the Golden Rule. Reminds me a bit of the “risky shift” phenomenon, a polarization of group opinion in which the final product of a group deliberation is more extreme than the average of the initial individual opinions.

I expect Mom’s Apple Pie to be branded as a communist sympathizer by the end of the month.

Headline Muse 1/18

When the sweet taste of privilege sours
Local businesses show off their powers
Saving Jessica’s banner
In a rather strange manner…
By refusing to bring her her flowers

Headline: Cranston florists refuse to deliver roses to Jessica Ahlquist

Of course, what’s hilarious is that none of the protesters seem to have read the judge’s decision–it’s their fanatical devotion to, and reverence of THE BANNER that led the judge to the obvious conclusion that it was indeed a matter of establishment of religion. The more Cranston makes a big deal out of this, the more obviously it is unconstitutional!

While you’re at it, Cranston, bring up that bit about “in god we trust” on our money a few more times. In the long run, I’ll thank you for it!

Cuttlecap tip to Randomfactor, again!