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Category Archive: Headline Muse

Jun 28 2012

Headline Muse, 6/28

Though I feel like a bit of a leech With true honor just out of my reach Screw my own pallid pallor I’ll snatch stolen valor… Which the SCOTUS now says is free speech! Headline: Supreme Court rejects ‘Stolen Valor’ law, says lying about military honors isn’t a crime The Supreme Court on Thursday struck …

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Jun 27 2012

Headline Muse, 6/27

A jury in Texas has found That a shooter is now prison-bound Forty years, said the judge, Cos the man wouldn’t budge— You can’t always, it seems, stand your ground. Headline: US man given 40 years in ‘stand your ground’ murder case

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Jun 16 2012

Headline Muse, 6/16

The Greeks are consulting their oracle Though the phrase is, of course, metaphorical They are looking to Delphi Much more than is healphi… A trait which I find quite adoracle. Headline: No Delphic clarity as Greek vote looms With all the Bulgarian skeleton news, I cannot neglect my beloved Greece. Greeks will cast their lot …

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May 29 2012

Headline Muse, 5/29

He’s a tool, he’s a fool, he’s a chump He’s the hairpiece with feet, Donald Trump. The Donald’s a birther— A modern flat-earther And clearly as dumb as a stump Headline: Blitzer and Trump go at it over Trumps ‘birther’ claims On CNN’s “The Situation Room” Tuesday, Trump maintained that Obama’s birthplace is a matter …

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May 14 2012

Headline Muse, 5/14

I know that it sounds a bit funny But the week got a little more sunny Though he’s still fighting Mitt He has more-or-less quit: Ron Paul’s gonna stop spending money Headline: Ron Paul: ‘We will no longer spend resources’ campaigning

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May 11 2012

Headline Muse, 5/11

The judge down in Florida found She was guilty, and thus he was bound; He must put her away… And so women, today, Learned a lesson—you must stand your ground. Headline: Florida woman sentenced to 20 years in controversial warning shot case So… shoot unarmed black teen while “standing your ground”? Released, only arrested after …

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Apr 23 2012

Headline Muse, 4/23

Politicians, of course, serve us shit, Since they’re lacking in substance or wit– Still, I just have to smile When I read of the pile That is Rudy’s endorsement of Mitt Headline: Giuliani endorses Mitt Romney, shelving animosity

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Apr 22 2012

Headline Muse, 4/22

This may come as a bit of a shock But they’re stripping the shelves of “X-Rock” There’s a problem they saw— Seems it’s breaking the law Cos it has an effect on your libido Headline: Maker recalls ‘X-Rock’ male supplement

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Apr 18 2012

Headline Muse, 4/18

You may laugh, you may snicker, or chortle, But some thought he’d discovered a portal— Now, eternal youth’s spark Has eluded Dick Clark, And we learn that the man is … mere mortal. Headline: ‘America’s oldest teen’ Dick Clark dies Either 82 years old, or approximately 16.

Apr 16 2012

Headline Muse, 4/16

With the nation—the world—in suspense As the trial begins to commense Anders Breivik, we’ll see, Tries a “not guilty” plea— He killed dozens, in pure self-defense! Headline: Rampage suspect says he acted to save Norway Hm. I could swear that headline used to read “rampage suspect to plead self defense”. Oh, well.

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