Santorum Is The Real Victim Here

It is so very sad, what the gays have done
To a wonderful person like Rick
They label him hateful, but he loves every one
Though the things that they do make him sick

Santorum believes that gay marriage is wrong
And the gays call that view an attack!
But “separate but equal” keeps straight marriage strong—
It’s ok to seat gays in the back

The horrible things that these activist gays
Do to Rick, are too awful to mention
When really, he loves them—he just hates their ways—
Homophobia’s not his intention!

Gays shouldn’t get married. That’s Rick’s point of view.
It’s not that he wants to restrict ‘em
But it’s there in his bible, which is your bible too…
Santorum is really the victim!

Weapons-grade projection, after the jump: [Read more…]

Oh, Newt!

Ok, since this one was eaten by the upgrade, I’m reposting it.

Now that pretty much every GOP candidate has had a turn at the top of the polls, we finally see Newt Gingrich (within margin of error) in a tie with Mittens for the lead (.pdf) . Given the average turnaround we’ve seen, there’s a very real chance he’s already peaked and will plummet by the time I post this (and yes, his unfavorable rating is higher than his favorable), but I will probably never have another chance. This was originally written after the thrice-married Newt warned us about the dangers of same-sex marriage, and their threat to the sanctity of the institution he is so familiar with. It’s a favorite, and another one that’s long enough I’m gonna put it after the jump: [Read more…]

Warning! Avert Your Eyes!

There are people teaching tolerance—
They’re marching up the block—
I thought I ought to warn you
So you wouldn’t die of shock.
Their message of diversity,
Acceptance, and respect
Will likely reach our kids, if it’s
Allowed to spread unchecked.
We must protect the children
From equality, or worse!
I recommend you read to them
This welcome bible verse.
Our Christian moral values
Are enshrined within that book

There are people teaching tolerance…
You might not want to look.

Stephanie over at Almost Diamonds has the story.

Purple?

I’m sorry; I didn’t wear purple today,
But I have to say, in fairness—
I’m not opposed at all to gay rights;
I’m opposed to “raising awareness”
I’ll speak my mind; I’ll teach my class;
I’ll probably reach a few;
But tell me… “raising awareness”—
What, exactly, does it do?
Some homophobic moron
Could be very much “aware”
He knows that he discriminates
And proudly does not care
“Awareness” is a fiction
Roughly on a par with “prayer”
Petitioning an entity
That isn’t even there.
I will not dress in purple
(even though it sounds like fun)
I will not raise awareness—
I would rather get things done.

Explanation, after the jump: [Read more…]

Headline Muse, 9/30

The direction this country is heading
Is exactly what bigots are dreading!
What’s the danger they feared?
It’s that chaplains are cleared
To officiate at a gay wedding!

Headline: Military chaplains allowed to perform same-sex weddings

Headline: Military Chaplains May Perform Same-Sex Unions

Why two links? The first is CNN; the second is Fox. The stories are quite similar–there’s not much to do but report the facts–but the comment threads are clearly from two different planets.

No Disrespect Intended…

Our daughter’s getting married!
What a joyous, joyous day!
But we’re going to skip the wedding,
Cos you see, our daughter’s gay.

We love her more than life itself
And love her wife-to-be;
We’d never be judgmental, but
We simply can’t agree!

I mean no disrespect, of course,
I love her to the core—
It’s just that, when it comes to this,
I love religion more.

comments, after the jump:
[Read more…]

Crazy Like Fox

The in-house Fox psychiatrist
Has seen his share of crazy
Surrounded by his talking points
His frontal lobe’s gone lazy
He claims he has compassion for
“Transsexual” Chaz Bono
But watching “Dancing with the Stars”
While Chaz is on? A no-no!
If children see Chaz dancing, why,
That glorifies her change!
And children might see sex as something
They can re-arrange!
The siren song of surgery
Must surely be entrancing
If children want to nip and tuck
From merely watching dancing

I guess when Fox was looking for
A television shrink
Ability to bullshit trumped
Ability to think
If children are in danger when
They watch the idiot-box
There’s far, far greater damage if
They watch the news on Fox.

More, after the jump:
[Read more…]