Category Archive: Food

Nov 18 2012

Food Dreams

I found myself eating, last night, in a dream, These most wonderful scones, served with real clotted cream And a strawberry jam that was fit for a king… I awoke to a fridge that contained not a thing. … well, close, but not quite 100% accurate. The fridge has all sorts of things in it… …

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Oct 27 2012

I’m Having Some Old Friends For Dinner


Update–Oh my word, that was wonderful! I thought about taking a pic of the final product, but foolishly took one bite first… and then ate it all. Braised for an hour to tenderize, then cut up and marinated overnight, then grilled just a little bit ago. And the Okto wine was the perfect accompaniment.

Sep 25 2012

Bacon Shortage Looms; Prices To Double Next Year

I can’t hear through the noise that I’m makin’ As the bones in my knees get to shakin’ It’s the worst news I’ve seen For Two Thousand Thirteen— We’ll be facing a shortage of bacon! We’ll pay more, or we’ll just do without But the shortage is real, there’s no doubt! The source of our …

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Sep 02 2012

White House Secrets Released, Deemed “Delicious”

Something’s brewing at the White House But I see no need for fear They’ve released a vital secret— It’s their recipe for beer! There’s a White House Honey Porter And a White House Honey Ale; They’re in limited production And they will not be for sale If you’re really, really lucky You might have one …

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Jun 01 2012

How Did I Miss This?!?!?

Today was, I just found out moments ago, National Donut (or Doughnut) Day, here in the US. How I missed it, though, is easily answered: I spent most of the day waiting while cars were repaired, to the tune of more money that I would have hoped for. Blech. So none of that! On to …

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May 18 2012

Jesus Christ On A Popsicle Stick! (No, Really!)

There is nothing so distressing As an “inadvertent blessing” Which can leave an artist messing With the sacramental wine But Sebastian Errazuriz Made a Christcicle, which sure is Bound to piss off any purist Who considers Christ “divine” Is it art, or bad behavior, Making light of our dear Savior Though his crucifixion gave your …

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May 05 2012

Cuttlefish’s Kitchen

This morning, Cuttlespouse left for a weekend with friends. Cuttlehouse is, of course, significantly quieter. To compensate, the stereo is considerably louder right now, playing music Cuttlespouse does not care for. Don’t worry–there is plenty of Cuttlespouse-approved music that I love, so this is not a sign of hardship on my part. But that’s not …

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Apr 14 2012

Two Thirds Of Everything

I bought a bunch of groceries—the things I like to eat— Some lovely fruits and vegetables, a loaf of bread, some meat; I picked my way through produce, and I only chose the best. I’ll eat about two thirds of it, and throw away the rest.

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Feb 05 2012

Reading Asparagus

We’ll fathom what becomes of us By tossing some asparagus; Examine it; determine, thus, The path we’re bound to take. A path we know; we need no scouts! We know it well; we have no doubts! We heard it from the Brussels sprouts, The choices we must make. The cabbages and collard greens, The lettuces …

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Jan 11 2012

The Endangered Twinkie

If the living undead Have your thoughts filled with dread And you’re seeking a morsel of heaven Well, the people who make All that spongy, filled cake Have just filed for chapter eleven! Yes, for some, dreadful news And they’re singing the blues, But some info is poorly construed See, this cream-filling log, On the …

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