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An Ode To Open Carry

I carry my gun to the toilet, and boy, let
Me tell you, it’s difficult wiping my ass
But guns are important! For freedom, you need ‘em
In every location—a critical mass!
I carry while changing my baby, cos maybe
A diaper goes rogue, and I need to defend!
My AK goes with me while shopping—no stopping—
The good guy who carries is everyone’s friend!

At church, while receiving my wafer, I’m safer
Cos slung on my back are my rifle and scope
In tactical gear, wearing camo, with ammo
I’m here for the sermon, a message of hope!
I’m eating left-handed at Chili’s—it’s silly;
I can’t eat a Whopper, cos that takes two hands
The NRA finds open carry too scary—
I’m not giving in to their leftist demands!

Comments

  1. Pliny the in Between says

    In a day and age where it isn’t unheard of for some person to go into a crowed place and open fire with an assault rifle, it seems inevitable that one day, one of these Open Carry asses will walk into a place and someone else with simply off them, taking them as an eminent threat.

  2. noastronomer says

    @Pliny

    Not quite sure it will go down like that, these OCT guys seem to recognize their own.

    But I can definitely see a mild disagreement escalating quickly into a free-for-all where everyone with a gun is shooting and someone, anyone, else with a gun.

    Mike.

  3. rikitiki says

    I’m packin’ and crackin’ my jaws as I walk
    ‘cos you gotta have ammo and not simply talk
    The NRA says open-carry has drawbacks
    But freedom is weapons, so please have a fall-back
    Carry two, yes that’s right, you can’t be too safe
    With one in the chamber, you’re ready to strafe
    Those commies and pinkos out there in the mall
    So it’s just like old times: up against the wall!

  4. N. Nescio says

    But I can definitely see a mild disagreement escalating quickly into a free-for-all where everyone with a gun is shooting and someone, anyone, else with a gun.

    Given the number of concealed carry permits that have been issued in the past 10 years, and the number of states permitting open carry, you should have some examples to cite by now. Got any?

    How about during gun shows/open carry ‘events’? Anything?

  5. Pliny the in Between says

    @Noastronomer – Hmm, interesting. Being from the Pacific NW, I decided to look at one of our cities. I took about 4 minutes and did one Google search on Portland-argument-shooting. I looked at a few offerings on the first 2 pages of 10 (don’t know how many others there are), ignored domestic violence cases and found shootings resulting from arguments on 4/13/14, 4/23/14, 4/14/14, 3/24/14, when I decided to stop.

    Portland isn’t a particularly violent city so I doubt that it’s an outlier.

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