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Apr 12 2014

God Goes To Court In New York

A little bit short
On His credit report?
No, you don’t want to mess with divinity—
Y’see, God is the sort
Who will take you to court
If you say He can’t buy His Infiniti.

A silly little story on NPR:

As the saying goes, “In God We Trust, all others pay cash.”

But in the case of Russian immigrant and businessman God Gazarov, cash may be the only option.

That’s because, according to The New York Post, credit reporting agency Equifax has refused to acknowledge that he has any financial history whatsoever, despite having high scores with two other major credit agencies.

He was named after his grandfather, apparently, and not his heavenly father. Equifax suggested changing his name to fix the problem. God’s lawyers have other suggestions.

Oh, and it really was an Infiniti he was trying to buy. I mean, what else would God drive?

8 comments

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  1. 1
    bahrfeldt

    What about the (probably) thousands of those named Jesus or those named after Greek, Roman or Norse deities?
    Or the hockey player Satan? Are they having trouble also?

  2. 2
    Cuttlefish

    Sounds like a class action suit to me!

  3. 3
    Robert B.

    Hah, Satan plays hockey? Why am I not surprised?

    Lemme guess – he’s a Flyer, right?

  4. 4
    bahrfeldt

    Miroslav Satan played for several NHL teams from the mid90′s through 2010.

  5. 5
    bahrfeldt

    As opposed to baseball player Josh Satin, #13 on the Mets.

  6. 6
    Ron Sullivan

    Well, be fair. Neither the back-of-the-bar slogan nor the words on the coinage specifies which god.

  7. 7
    Al Dente

    This is just plain stupid. Equifax is playing silly games with this guy because apparently somebody in the company is having a snit because an uncommon but not usual Russian name means something else in English. I hope Equifax pays Gazarov enough for him to buy a couple of Infinitis.

  8. 8
    Hercules Grytpype-Thynne

    @Robert B.

    Not a Devil?

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