January 31, 2014 at 12:17 pm
I do not like that ovoid shape, it makes no sense to me
I find it quite offensive to my sensibilities
What is it hiding, what’s behind?
Will it strike when I turn my back?
The obvious doesn’t scare me
What’s scary is the lack.
chigau (違う) says
January 31, 2014 at 12:18 pm
January 31, 2014 at 12:25 pm
I find that very offensive!
January 31, 2014 at 12:28 pm
A Click Too Soon
We all know that it’s hiding a digital representation of a print of a caricature of a body double of the Prophet (Peas be upon him).
January 31, 2014 at 1:11 pm
(Peas be upon him)
Nothing worse than those attack peas that get all over you.
Anyway, my religion tells me I should be offended at depictions of black ovals, because the Holy Black Egg should never be represented in visual form as it resides merely in the sacred consciousness.
So yes, I am offended, too.
January 31, 2014 at 1:20 pm
January 31, 2014 at 1:42 pm
As someone who suffers from black/black color blindness I cannot read a thing – very insensitive of you and very offensive to those of us with the condition.
January 31, 2014 at 2:32 pm
The ovoid void. Black humor.
The fog of unsubstantiated rumor.
Withholding verbal gratification
Resounds like negative peroration
You meant to darken this day with teasing–
At least its inky symmetry is pleasing.
January 31, 2014 at 2:46 pm
See, Cuttlefish, what you get when you egg people on?
Jenora Feuer says
January 31, 2014 at 8:07 pm
And I’m reminded of Moxy Früvous’ ‘Gulf War Song’, off their 1992 demo tape and the 1993 album Bargainville:
We got a call to write a song about the war in the Gulf,
But we shouldn’t hurt anyone’s feelings.
So we tried, then gave up, ’cause there was no such song.
But the trying was very revealing.
What makes a person so poisonous righteous
That they’d think less of anyone who just disagreed?
She’s just a pacifist, he’s just a patriot
If I said you were crazy, would you have to fight me?
January 31, 2014 at 8:10 pm
Wow… Thanks Jenora Feuer– please, readers, follow that link!
Ophelia Benson says
This is offensive to eggs. And to ovoid race tracks. And to the color black. And to the Niger river, and the nation of Niger in its entirety. And to the night sky. And to Zorro. And to women who wear the abaya. And to censors. And to the BBC.
January 31, 2014 at 8:20 pm
I have had long conversations with many eggs, and none have confirmed that this verse is offensive. I need not go any further; it is clear that your opinion is biased.
Well, ok, maybe you are right about the BBC.
Bernard Hurley says
January 31, 2014 at 8:45 pm
This whole thread offends me. I’ll have top carefully examine my Holy Book to find out precisely why, but you should all be aware that the Creatress of the Universe agrees with me and is at this very moment writing a sequel to the Famous Five series in which will you all be pecked to death by Pirate Joe’s Parrot. Consider yourselves fiction!
 Noddy and Bigears go Shopping.
 The Blessed Enid Blyton (Penguins be Upon Her.)
January 31, 2014 at 10:37 pm
ZOMG!!!!1!11!1ONETY!! CUTTELFISH MARGINALIZES TEH WHITE!! REVERSE RACISM IS ALIVE AND WELL AT FtB!
StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return! says
February 1, 2014 at 6:51 am
To quote from the classics – in this case Lethal Weapon II :
“But, but but, its black!” ;-)
Also it offends Achernareans* and Regulans among other inhabitants of non-spherical stars by suggesting their star is or should be blacked out catsing theri planets into eternal darkness!
February 1, 2014 at 6:53 am
Also, sorry, but your verse just doesn’t rhyme!
(How exactly do you pronounce it again?)
February 1, 2014 at 7:27 am
One last thing that’s just occurred to me – in fact for a long time it was held as obvious that planetary orbits (around Earth not Sun back then or so they thought at the time) had to be symbolically geometrically perfect circles.
Planetary orbits were calculated that way and – when the predictions predictably (to us) ” failed – “epicycles” – extra circles from tehoriginal cicrular orbit were added to make it all add up.
For long time the idea that planets may not be in circular obits was resisted. The idea that the ellipse – an orbit containing an ovoid when filled in in black – was duh-da-da-dah, considered offensive!
Of course, the planet’s orbits are elliptical not circular (well, actually the degree of eccentricity is usually pretty small and mostly circular just a very slight bit elliptical hence Ptolemy’s model had such century long staying power. That and y’know Church suppression of heretical ideas.) so the perfect circle orbit people are wrong -but you can’t offend people just because they’re wrong! Can you?
Anyhow, not only is this verse offensive to someone – albeit dredged here by time machine – by this admittedly rather convoluted and esoteric line of argument, but through its heliocentric implications in the right (?wrong?) context it once could’ve got you burnt at the stake like poor ole Giordano Bruno or shown the instruments of torture and made to recant like Galileo.
Katie M says
February 1, 2014 at 10:30 am
An oval killed my father!
February 2, 2014 at 1:07 pm
Nothing worse than those attack peas that get all over you.
And worst of all are those darn feminist chick peas.
February 2, 2014 at 4:51 pm
what you alluded to
above is an ellipsis.
I cannot see just what it is,
please fill it out in ink.
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