The Democrats Are Coming (And They Want To Take Your Guns)!

The Democrats are coming! And they want to take your guns!
Cos the lefties don’t believe in self-defense!
They’ll be shutting down the gun shows any moment now, you know,
And the impact on our profits is immense!
They’ll want handgun registration; they’ll want licensing and locks!
It’s the functional equivalent of war!
They’ll want magazine restrictions; universal background checks—
If you only own a dozen, buy some more!
Yes it’s time to buy more ammo—by the truckload; by the tons—
Cos the Democrats are coming! And they want to take your guns!

The Democrats are coming! And they want to take your guns!
It’s a symptom of a world gone wholly mad!
You’ll never get another chance to exercise your rights—
Or, at least, that’s what we’ll tell you in the ad!
There are shortages of weapons—though the makers do their best,
Our demand is far exceeding their supply!
The “Obama surge” is waning, after record sales this year
And we need to stir up panic so you’ll buy!
So… you know you’ll be in trouble if it’s Hillary that runs
Cos the Democrats are coming! And they want to take your guns!
Yes, our bottom line will double if it’s Hillary that runs
Cos the Democrats are coming! And they want to take your guns!

Obama’s presidency has been very profitable for gun manufacturers. His 2008 election saw a spike in gun sales, as did his re-election in 2012 (eclipsed again, though, in 2013). Stories of jackbooted government thugs confiscating your weapons, which we were promised would come to pass if Obama was elected, turn out to be the best advertising campaign in the history of firearms. That these stories are utter fiction is of little matter; we all know the burger in real life looks quite different from the burger in the ad. I do wonder, though, how long the message can be milked before it dawns that the barbarians are not coming, today or any day.

Ah. Ed has it–it’s time to paint Hillary as the gun-stealing monster that Obama turned out not to be… yet.


  1. says

    I don’t know why, but this set me a-thinking of an old song from the 50’s:

    Democrats are a-coming, keep your guns out of sight!
    Democrats are a-coming, there’s dancing tonight!
    Why don’t ‘cha hurry hurry hurry home
    Why don’t ‘cha hurry hurry hurry home
    ‘Cause Democrats are a-coming to take away your rights…..

  2. Al Dente says

    Or as the paraphrased doggerel has it:

    As I was climbing up the stair
    I met a gun-grabber who wasn’t there.
    He wasn’t there again today
    I wish, I wish he’d stay away.

  3. Randomfactor says

    It’s obvious why Obama hasn’t grabbed all the guns. He’s waiting for all the new purchases to be delivered. More efficient that way. Otherwise, they’d just re-order after the Stormtroopers left.

  4. Pliny the in Between says

    Fear as a message never goes out of style (fear of intruders, fear of socialists, etc.). Wed that to the fetishism associated with guns in this country and it’s not likely to change anytime soon.

  5. says

    Keep spreading the market, war-mongering abroad
    And scaring the homeland, no matter the fraud.
    With hopes for peace dimmin’,
    Let’s hit up the women
    To be gun-toting activists we can applaud.

  6. says

    I hate gun nuts. I can’t buy enough ammo to go target shooting because those idiots are stockpiling it out of paranoia.

    Ah well, archery is a better hobby anyway.

  7. dpeavy says

    I guess kalifornia , new york, new jersey , chicago and dc must be republican strongholds then

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