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Meanwhile, In Cow Piss News…

Livescience.com, just yesterday, ran a story on a new health drink, made from cow urine. It’s been slightly updated, with mentions of a 2012 and a 2013 rat studies, but the main story is something we’ve seen before, back in 2009. Most of the quotes in yesterday’s article are actually from ’09.

As is this little jingle, for when the ad campaign gets rolling:

I don’t like the taste of Pepsi,
I don’t like the taste of Coke;
Dr. Pepper’s not the drink for me right now.
7-up and Sprite are dreadful
Every Root Beer is a joke;
What I really want is urine. From a cow.

If you like the taste of urine, you’re in luck!
If you think the taste of piss is bliss, it only costs a buck!
If you want to float your kidneys, you can buy it by the truck—
If you like the taste of urine, you’re in luck!

I don’t want to drink the Kool-Aid
I don’t want a mug of juice;
I don’t even want a tall glass of iced tea.
I’d really hate a cold V-8—
That’s vegetable abuse—
What I really want’s a cup of bovine pee!

If you like the taste of urine, you’re in luck!
If you think the taste of piss is bliss, it only costs a buck!
If you want to float your kidneys, you can buy it by the truck—
If you like the taste of urine, you’re in luck!

It’s a cure for diabetes,
It’s the finest healer known—
You will never need another drink than this!
In the battle of the soft drinks
This elixir stands alone,
And I guarantee it really tastes like piss!

If you like the taste of urine, you’re in luck!
If you think the taste of piss is bliss, it only costs a buck!
If you want to float your kidneys, you can buy it by the truck—
If you like the taste of urine, you’re in luck!

Comments

  1. Randomfactor says

    Micturade!

    (Although supposedly one of the first versions of Gatorade was reviewed as “this stuff tastes like piss!”)

  2. Trebuchet says

    Cow piss? Heck, at the Burzynski clinic in Arizona, you can get HUMAN piss for your cancer.

  3. says

    I love you.

    My dear old dad would’ve loved you.

    There was damned little we agreed on as the years went by, but he’d’ve been singing that right along with me, only he’d’ve been on-key.

  4. Apoidea Theorem says

    It probably wouldn’t count as a health drink, as such, but… The Sami nåjds/shamans used to use a particular form of lichen for its hallucinogenic properties. Unfortunately, said lichen was toxic to humans.

    Their solution was to pre-filter the lichen it through a reindeer kidney, by feeding the lichen to a reindeer and then drinking the reindeer urine, which retained the psychedelic effects but not the toxicity.

    While this was a clever work-around, I can’t help wondering however someone came up with the idea in the first place…

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