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Nov 05 2013

It’s Christmas. Officially. Already. (No, Really; I’m Not Making This Up.)

There once was a time, so the old fogeys say
There was no “Christmas Season”, just one Christmas day
There are history books into which we could delve
That say Christmas expanded—its days numbered twelve
It doesn’t seem strange now, to most of us living,
But Christmas, for some, begins right at Thanksgiving,
And the very next day is the day to start shopping,
For over a month, if you can, without stopping

This year, Venezuela, for best or for worst,
Declared Christmas began this past Friday
, the first.
It’s officially Christmas—start decking the halls,
Make some punch and some fruitcake, and head for the malls
Where you’ll get Silent Night and Away in the Mangered,
Because everyone knows Christmastime is endangered…
When “The War Against Christmas” gets bloody and hot,
Just remember, this year, which side fired the first shot.

Via NPR (at above link):

Perhaps Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro is taking a hint from big U.S. retailers: For the sake of happiness, Maduro said, he declared an early beginning to the Christmas season.

“Today, on this first day of November, we decided to declare the arrival of Christmas, because we want happiness for all people,” Maduro said.

Now, I forget–will Fox approve because Yay, more Christmas!? Or is this part of the commercialization of, secularization of, and thus destruction of Real Christmas? It’s getting hard to tell these days–like the Civil War, it’s brother against brother, Santa against Jesus, Three French Hens against Three Wise Men, redeeming mankind and saving souls against redeeming coupons and saving money.

All I know is, if I can get my damned cover art to work, this blog will be your one stop for all your Christmas and Cephalopodmas shopping needs.

9 comments

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  1. 1
    AsqJames

    Now, I forget–will Fox approve because Yay, more Christmas!? Or is this part of the commercialization of, secularization of, and thus destruction of Real Christmas?

    That’s easily answered: Maduro is a socialist, therefore Fox cannot possibly approve of anything he says or does. Exactly how they will disapprove may be up for debate, but (if they cover this at all) disapprove they will.

  2. 2
  3. 3
    Trebuchet

    Around here it seems to have been in full swing for several weeks now. They don’t even wait for Halloween.

  4. 4
    Cuttlefish

    Same here, Treb, but that’s not *official*. Just the free market.

  5. 5
    MJP

    Christmas is an imperial holiday. It has already conquered December and November, and is beginning to conquer October as well, judging by when some people put their lights up around here. I can’t stand it, because the entire holiday carries with it a tasteless, creepy, artificially-happy kitsch glurge aesthetic. The music, in particular, is terrible, and it’s especially terrible that grocery stores torment me with it when I just want to buy food.

  6. 6
    Gregory in Seattle

    It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
    In the shopping malls.
    It’s the 25th of July
    Only five months to buy.
    You’d better hurry, Santa’s on his way!

    It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
    And it should be a sin.
    But the pre-pre-Christmas sales
    Have never been known to fail
    To bring shoppers in.

    And therein lies the problem: as much as people piss and moan about Christmas starting earlier every year, the holiday sales provide a huge retail boost, even in late October.

  7. 7
    David Hart

    So, MJP, the Nightmare Before Christmas is a vision of our dystopian future, where Christmas has conquered the entire calendar, and Christmas Town represents the whole of Western civilization apart from a small group of isolated hold-outs who live in a society where an equally imperial Halloween has expanded to fill the who year?

  8. 8
    SC (Salty Current), OM

    I can’t speak about this particular story, but it’s a good policy to take everything you read or hear about Venezuela in the US media with a mountain of salt. (This goes for other Latin American and Caribbean countries as well, but is especially true for Venezuela.) I explain in this post why it’s so important to be skeptical of these reports and the agenda behind them. It’s not just a matter of poking fun at political figures. I’m not saying there aren’t legitimate criticisms to be made, but there’s a serious ongoing campaign to undermine and destabilize Venezuelan democracy and strengthen the right wing in the country to advance US-corporate interests.

  9. 9
    Pliny the in Between

    So Cuttlefish- is the open season on Christmas officially open?

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