Happy As A Cuttlefish In Shit »« Free? I’m There!

Poll: National Day Of Prayer?

Should there be a national day
When all of us will join and pray;
A day to send our thoughts to heaven—
And should this day be 9/11?

To show God’s love is everlasting
Join with us in prayer and fasting
Our nation’s ills won’t go away
Through just our work—we all must pray!

It’s time to get down on our knees
And humbly beg, “Oh, pretty please,
God, fix this mess—we know you can—
It’s far beyond the reach of Man”

The nation, having prayed as one,
Can now relax—our job is done;
The troubled nation’s worst demands
Are safely passed to God’s great hands

No need for us to try to mend
The problems we can’t comprehend—
No need to try to be aware
So long as God will hear our prayer

But… surely some will not believe;
They will not pray; they can’t conceive
That God will fix our problems quick…
These unbelievers make me sick.

Their lack of faith could cost us dearly—
Send us all to hell, or nearly—
If God won’t help, unless they pray
We’ll have to work hard anyway!

A day of prayer? No, not for me—
It’s just a waste of time, you see—
But prayer’s the choice of those who shirk…
It beats the hell out of doing work!

So, yeah… I accidentally clicked on an advertisement here.

IntellectualConservatives.com, is conducting a poll about an important issue. The results of these polls will be published online and are shared with major news networks and policymakers.

So you know it must be an important question.

1) Would you support a National Day of Prayer and Fasting on 9-11-13?

– No, there is no God.
– No, God doesn’t hear our prayers.
– No, we’re doing just fine without God’s help.
– Yes, our problems are so overwhelming, only God can save us.
– Yes, He promises to heal our land if we repent, pray and humble ourselves.
– Yes, this is what the founder of this country did frequently—and it worked.

2) Whom do you believe has better solutions for the nation’s problems?

– Conservatives
– Liberals
– Neither

You must include a valid email address and your postal code. “Votes with invalid emails will not be counted.” Oh, and “I understand that as a voter in this poll I will be signed up for FREE Intellectual Conservative alerts. I can unsubscribe at any time.”

Yeah, that couldn’t possibly bias the poll. I’d link to said poll, but I’ve tried everything and it seems like the only way to get there is through the ad itself–the URL for the poll itself won’t open the page for me. So, sadly, we won’t be able to sic PZ’s horde on them, and yet another bad poll will be sent to the networks and legislators, where the proper response (ignoring it) will be a secondary concern–the first concern being whether it is a slow news day and this fits their narrative.

Comments

  1. ApostateltsopA says

    On 9/11/13? I would support it just to see the time travel. Otherwise the idea is total crap.

    I like to point out to believers that the act of prayer, if they believe they are talking to god, is the ultimate act of hubris. After all it presumes that the actor can offer meaningful dialog to the universe creator on what should happen next. The arrogance…

  2. rikitiki says

    If you should have a day of prayer
    I won’t be there
    As such, though you think I’m a clod
    Neither will God
    Because, we see, on earth at least
    No such affect
    And bending knee or clasping hands
    Is just bereft

  3. davem says

    I will be signed up for FREE Intellectual Conservative alerts.

    I read that as ‘intellect-free conservative alerts’. Was I wrong?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>