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Monthly Archive: October 2013

Oct 31 2013

But The Ads Are The Best Part!

There’s a psychic with an offer that is gonna change your life And a site where Christians mingle if they’re looking for a wife Politicians with petitions make you miss the “hanging chad” But you’d never know that they exist, unless you read the ad There’s a college in Virginia where they follow Jesus first …

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Oct 31 2013

True Facts About The Cuttlefish

Just watch. Cuttlecap tip to @OnyxOny, via twitter. “Like a lactose-intolerant cheesemaker, the cuttlefish is unaware of its own gifts.” Wonderful.

Oct 30 2013

Forgot One–Trick Or Treat!

Stumbled on another old Halloween verse I missed in my earlier post…. Jesus came back from the dead tonight (He said he had done it before) He took to the streets in the Bible Belt With the children in masks, door to door. With pirates, and goblins, and heroes, and ghosts Came the Savior, the …

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Oct 30 2013

Wait–It’s JesusWeen Already?

Stack of pocket sized bibles

I hope you have your bibles, in a big stack by the door Cos tonight’s the night (it’s JesusWeen!) that’s what those books are for You can hand them to the costumed kids who plaintively implore “In the name of Christ the Savior, Trick or Treat” They’ll be dressed as saints and sinners as they …

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Oct 29 2013

If Obama’s An Atheist, He’s Sure Got A Funny Way Of Showing It

I’m certain Obama’s an atheist The clues are all there, if you search— Like the way he supports public praying And the way he has long gone to church His support for the faith-based initiatives And his scripture reflections each day Yes, I’m certain Obama’s an atheist Cos the clues are all there on display. …

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Oct 27 2013

Worth Every Penny…

A confluence of things, today. You may or may not know this, but we here at FtB are testing a new paid-subscription, ad-free version for your reading pleasure. Apparently, the place looks much nicer without ads. Ads never bothered me, though, aside from the few places around where, say, my verses have been copied without …

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Oct 26 2013

A Perfect Match

He gave her his heart, in exchange for her own And he owed her that heart and more, didn’t ‘e? They already knew they were perfectly matched… Cos, you see, she had given him her kidney! (Honestly, if you are the sort who doesn’t watch videos until you see if it is worth it, watch …

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Oct 25 2013

In The Near Distant Future, A Christian Looks Back With Regret

Remember the days when “Majority rules!” Was the rallying cry in our town halls and schools? We’d meet by the hundreds and kick up a fuss— The majority, then, were the People Like Us. The People Like Us (or for short, PLU’s) Were the people believing in similar views; PLU’s making up the majority there, …

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Oct 25 2013

Lubbock Is Flat. Earth Is Not.

In Texas, a creationist once took a look around And he noticed that the world he saw was flat When you live your life in Lubbock, there are no hills to be found, And it’s Lubbock the creationist was at. And he looked around the grasslands, just as far as he could see, To the …

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Oct 23 2013

Happy As A Cuttlefish In Shit

… that is to say, not happy at all. But yes, in shit. Came home to blocked plumbing and a strong smell of sewage. Poked around a bit to look for the problem, and saw a bubbling mass of water ooze up and out of the pipe, saturating the insulation of the basement wall. This …

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