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Sep 06 2013

Anxiety In Hindsight

There’s a tenseness in your stomach
And a flutter in your heart
You may find it hard to focus
Any noise can make you start
Since it came upon you slowly
Or your thoughts were turned aside
You believed it would be something
You could easily abide
Hell, you might not even notice
As you go about your day…
But I guarantee, you’ll feel it
When the feeling goes away!

So today, when I got the news that Cuttlespouse’s father’s surgery went well, it was (understandably) a relief. I knew (and expected, or hoped) that it would be. I had forgotten, though, just what a palpable, physical feeling that relief is.

I suffer from anxiety on occasion. I’m getting much better at recognizing it and taking steps to avoid it, or when it is unavoidable, to take steps to handle it (up to and including anti-anxiety meds). It is rare that I notice the beginning signs, though, until they are jumping around in front of me chanting “neener neener boo boo” and distracting me to the point of insomnia and digestive problems. And the biggest bouts I have ever experienced, I did not notice at all until something happened to impose understanding on me from without.

So I guess what I’m saying it, it’s real, it’s palpable, but it can be helped. And if you feel like a fool not realizing that you are suffering, you’re not alone there either. There are perfectly good reasons to get all stressed out about something (that’s life for you), but that feeling of relief is nature’s way of saying “y’know, it might be nice to try something different right about now.”

5 comments

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  1. 1
    KS

    Hug.

  2. 2
    Cuttlefish

    See? Lots of things relieve anxiety! Thanks, pal!

  3. 3
    Lou Doench

    I feel yah ‘Fish. I hope finally getting treatment for ADHD will lessen my anxiety attacks. Big hugs and good luck to you FiL on his recovery.

  4. 4
    Trebuchet

    Glad to hear it. My wife and I spent most of the past 10 years as caregivers for our parents so we know the anxiety well.They’re all gone now. I wish we could visit them.

  5. 5
    procrastinator will get an avatar real soon now

    Hug for you and please pass it on to the spousal unit who probably needs it more.

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