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Jun 07 2013

National Doughnut Day, 2013

Let us raise our voice in chorus
For that deep-fried, doughy torus
Though it’s not the best thing for us
It’s a super special treat
Found in bakeries or delis,
Dipped in sugars, filled with jellies,
We can stuff them in our bellies
Just as fast as we can eat

And it’s Donuts, Donuts, Donuts, and Hooray, Hooray, Hooray!
So let’s all go out and go nuts, saying Happy Donut Day!

Surely, nothing could be duller
Than a day without a cruller
In that toasted-almond color
So you know it’s cooked just right
I love fritters and berliners
Some say Boston Cremes are winners
Cider donuts for beginners
So you’re hooked at just one bite!

And it’s Donuts, Donuts, Donuts, and Hooray, Hooray, Hooray!
So let’s all go out and go nuts, saying Happy Donut Day!

In the US, the first Friday in June is, as you all know, National Doughnut Day (or National Donut Day), and has been since 1938 (I would never have guessed it’s that old!). ABCNews reports that free donuts (or doughnuts) are available at Krispy Kreme, Dunkin’ Donuts, Tim Hortons, and more. Sadly, the best donut in the known universe (as determined by me, but objectively true nonetheless) is no longer being made. It was the apple fritter (don’t complain that it is not technically a donut–it is the perfection that every donut would want to be if were able to choose) made by a small bakery one town over from Cuttletown. I lived next door to that bakery 27 years ago, and never tired of those fritters. We moved away, and when I went back to visit over a decade later, they had discontinued their fritters! Customers just weren’t buying deep-fried pastries, so they got rid of the equipment (gasp!) and the recipe (horror!).

So, you can have your National Donut Day (or National Doughnut Day); for me, it is a day of mourning, for what was, for its time in the universe, the best possible argument for Platonic Ideals.

(Yes, the verse is a re-run; you aren’t losing your mind.) (well, maybe)

4 comments

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  1. 1
    djlactin

    Properly: “doughnought” (= “dough zero”)

  2. 2
    Trebuchet

    One of my fondest childhood memories is of going to the “Spudnut” shop near my home. They had the most awesome (and frightening) automatic doughnut machine, with perfect rings of batter being dropped onto little cars that ran around a track in a huge pond of hot oil, flipping over half way through. Very impressive to my four-year-old self! That was also where I learned to order a hamburger with pickles and ketchup, still the way I like them.

  3. 3
    Corvus illustris

    To a couple of old, disabled people whom I know, National Doughnut Day occurs when Medicare Part D stops requiring them to pay 100% of the (BigPharma-inflated) price of their meds and the Hole closes.

  4. 4
    qwerty

    I remember sitting in Miss Dolan’s eigth grade history class at Sheridan Junior High School in Minnapolis. Almost every morning she ask the class who wants a doughnut. Then, she’d collect nickles (yes, this was the sixties and raised and glazed doughnuts were a whopping five cents, six for a quarter!) and send some one to the bakery which was on the same block as the school.

    Fresh doughnuts and history. Nice combination. Alas, the bakery and others just as good have closed in NE Minneapolis.

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