Mar 13 2013

Habemus Papem

A cloud of white smoke; the ring of a bell;
The announcement of “habemus papem”
So, sadly, as far as I can tell
It’s too late now to stop ‘em.


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  1. 1

    [sigh] Catholicism, it’s just one damned Pope after another…

  2. 2
    Félix Desrochers-Guérin

    Duos habet et bene pendentes.

  3. 3
    Gregory in Seattle

    Jorge Bergoglio of Argentina. He will be taking the regnal name of Francis I.

  4. 4
    Christoph Zurnieden

    Another old (76) white man. Who would have thought that.
    And just the other night I had such a nice dream, what a harsh awakening that was.

  5. 5
    Reginald Selkirk

    Passing up the name “Benedict XVII” was a wise choice.

  6. 6

    Old bigoted misogynist protector of pedophiles retires. Group of his peers meet, wear stupid clothes, and select a member of the same closed society as a replacement. But, since they used white smoke, people think it must be special.
    Will anything change? Likely not. Abuse of children by priests will be considered wrong only as it influences the flow of money into the church’s coffers: no serious efforts will be taken to deal with the offenders (see increasing problems with them in Germany, despite the “no tolerance” smokescreen. Women will still be valued only as long as they are happy to serve as docile receptacles of semen and vessels for fetuses (only in marriage, of course: otherwise they are scum), but when they attempt to enter discussion of social, economic, or philosophical issues, they will be belittled and quieted, as always.

    (Posted this elsewhere as well.)

  7. 7

    Would have preferred “Peter II,” though.

  8. 8
    Argle Bargle

    Another conservative, homophobic, misogynist god-botherer. The only unusual thing about him is he isn’t European, although he is white.

  9. 9
    Gregory in Seattle

    And, it turns out that he isn’t ethnically Argentinian: his parents were both Italian immigrants and he grew up speaking Italian at home. Alas, he is just as white and just as European as all of his predecessors. And apparently, he was one of the most conservative cardinals in the conclave.

    If anyone is hoping for some kind of change for the better, you can start breathing now: it is only going to get worse.

  10. 10

    We have plenty of smoke to announce the new pope
    And some bells too, for those who are hearers.
    Yet transparency still seems to be a big joke.
    No surprise that they left out the mirrors.

  11. 11

    One only hopes,
    As they change out the Popes
    That the stench around Ratzi can go.
    No more priestly rapists
    Embraced by these Papists
    As they dance the new Vatican Tango.

  12. 12
    Hermit Ladee

    My hope for a lesbian African
    Has been dashed by another old white man.
    I should know tradition would stay
    The abuse will not go away.
    Just another day in the Vatican

  13. 13

    Read about his role in Argentina’s Dirty War. He is Pius XIII.

  14. 14
    Hercules Grytpype-Thynne

    Habemus papem

    Sadly, it’s actually “papam”, which messes up the rhyme.

  15. 15
    Christoph Zurnieden

    Read about his role in Argentina’s Dirty War.

    Uh, that’s why his name was so familiar to me!
    And it seems as if nobody cared?

  16. 16
    A. R

    Fuck the motherfucker!

  17. 17
    Gregory in Seattle

    Apparently, the Cardinals didn’t have much choice but to elect Bergoglio: he was apparently the first runner-up in last season’s finale of Vatican Idol, and if the winner cannot fulfil his duties….

  18. 18

    Repost of a comment I left at Ed’s –

    This is just a “New Coke / Old Coke” rebranding of the RCC – We love our third-world Catholics, see?!”
    I figure this new guy will die/be-quietly-killed within 1 -to- 2 years and then they’ll elect someone
    from Africa to cover all the bases towards Catholics/converts in the market area where they still
    have some influence.

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