Jackson, OH Is The New Cranston


There’s a picture of Jesus in Jackson
Where it’s hung for some sixty-five years
By a door, on the wall
In a middle-school hall
Now it’s come down to lawsuits and tears

All the people in Jackson are Christians
Well, there might be some others as well
But the others don’t count
Such a piddling amount
And I hope they’ll be happy in hell

Now the people have voted in Jackson
Cos in Jackson, majority rules
Since the vote went our way
We say Jesus can stay
On the walls, in the halls of our schools

You can call it religious endorsement
You can call it whatever you want
We are totally deaf
To the FFRF
And their foolish publicity stunt

They can say it’s the damned Constitution
But we think it’s the bible instead
If by law we are cursed
To put one of them first
Then the bible must come out ahead

Cos the people are good here in Jackson
And we want to do only what’s right
So we’re telling the board
To stick up for the Lord
And we’re perfectly willing to fight

Our opponents are pointing to Cranston
But we’re very aware of the laws
And while theirs was a crime
Things are different this time—
Things are different, because… just because!

Well, actually, no, things are not different this time, other than the fact that Cranston had a banner and Jackson has a picture of Jesus. Other than that, there are appeals to history, an outraged Christian majority vowing to fight, a small number of people in favor of obeying the law (and being shouted down by the angry majority at school meetings). Blame is being heaped not upon the school district that has broken the law for decades, but on the “atheist group” who don’t represent local feelings.

And, of course, the comments on news sites are virtually identical. Misinterpretations of the establishment clause, denial of decades of court precedents, calls for those offended to simply look the other way, accusations of unamerican behavior on the part of those pointing to the constitution rather than the picture of Jesus…

The only thing missing is “Evil Little Thing” t-shirts.

Comments

  1. The Lorax says

    Show me where in the constitution it states that the majority can vote to deny the minority the fundamental rights guaranteed by the constitution.

    I’ll just be over here, waiting patiently for your answer. N-no, that’s not popcorn…

  2. coragyps says

    You can’t put up a picture of The Prophet (PBUH) and still have it be halal, can you? But the blue elephant guy from India doesn’t seem to mind his portrait being displayed……

  3. Tony the Queer Shoop (proud supporter of Radical Feminism) says

    I wonder how many “Cranstons” there are in the country…

  4. komponist says

    Practically every small town in America—and nearly every big one—is a potential Cranston, unfortunately.

  5. Rieux says

    Well, Jackson doesn’t have appear to have a Jessica Ahlquist (and thus an “Evil Little Thing”)… yet. Wait until it’s time to file the suit, though.

    Also, and impiously:

    All the people in Jackson are Christians
    Well, there might be some others as well
    But the others don’t count
    Such a piddling amount
    And I hope they’ll be happy in hell

    *Cough*number*cough*

    (Sorry…)

  6. Cuttlefish says

    …because “number” rhymes so well with “count”?

    (Sometimes “poetic license” is used in the literal, not metaphorical, sense.)

  7. poxyhowzes says

    This will be really easy for the Christian Ohioans in Jackson.

    They should organize a large, public symposium of school-board members from Dover PA and Cranston RI on the overall topic of “How we Overcame Secularity in Our Schools!”

    I suggest that the program also include Ohioan John Freshwater, telling everybody about “How to teach TRUE creationism in a public-school science classroom.”

    pH

  8. Cuttlefish says

    They claim it’s ok because the picture is of historical importance, not of religious meaning.

    Ok… I want to see the community testify to that effect. Have the Jackson Christians line up and swear (or affirm) that this is simply a picture of an historical figure, a rabbi from a couple thousand years ago, that’s all. Not the son of God, nor his physical manifestation on earth, nor anyone or anything worthy of adoration or worship. A picture that serves only a secular historical purpose, not anything religious which might violate the establishment clause.

    Like the ceremonial deism of “in god we trust”, this picture is only constitutional if the Jesus it portrays is nothing more than some ancient sage. So let the Christians of Jackson go on record denying their savior’s divinity, and they can have their picture.

    It’s that simple.

Trackbacks

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>