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I *Told* You I Have The Best Commenters…

As a public service for those who read the posts, but don’t look at comments, I want to show off some of the songwriting abilities of commenters “badgersdaughter” and “zekehoskin”. I had invited readers to contribute their own verses to “What did you do in the war (against Christmas)?“…

From badgersdaughter:

I sent my love to the War Against Christmas,
I sent my love to the War!
It’s been cold, it’s been hard;
He maxed out our last card–
And we’ve never been maxed out before!
‘Next the half-set-up tree
I weep one bitter plea:
Will he come home to help with decor?
I sent my love to the War Against Christmas,
When will he return from the War?

and

Mother, I’m off to the War Against Christmas–
Mother, I’m off to the War!
Oh Mother, don’t cry–
With the angels I fly;
“God and country”, my duty I swore:
But I’m weary and sick,
For old General Nick
Left a coal in our esprit-de-corps.
Mother, I’m off to the War Against Christmas,
Mother, I’m off to the War!

And from zekehoskin:

Are you still fighting the War Against Christmas?
Are you still fighting the War?
Are you sticking your neck
Out for President Beck
And the faith that – by law – we adore?
The Earth is still young,
All the atheists hung*
And history’s really a bore –
Are you still fighting the War Against Christmas?
Are you still fighting the War?

* All right, hanged. I’m boasting.

See what wonderful stuff you miss when you don’t read the comments?

Comments

  1. Trebuchet says

    Dang. First time I read the original, it naturally developed a tune and quickly became an earworm. Now it’s back!

  2. bradleybetts says

    “Are you still fighting the war against Christmas?
    Are you still fighting the war?
    Do you buy your kids
    All the expensive gifts
    And go out dressed up like a whore?
    Do you claim aloud
    That the World’s better now
    Than it’s ever been before?
    Are you still fighting the war against Christmas?
    Are you still fighting the war?”

  3. bradleybetts says

    Ooh, I thought of another one:

    “Are you still fighting the war against Christmas?
    Are you still fighting the war?
    Do you deck the halls,
    Go to parties and balls
    Where you get drunk and act like a bore?
    Do you settle down
    With the kids all around
    To open presents early in the morn’?
    Are you still fighting the war against Christmas?
    Are you still fighting the war?”

  4. rikitiki says

    I got these medals in the War Against Christmas
    I got them all in that war
    There’s the candy cane shield
    ’cause I never did yield
    To the Christians attacking in hordes
    My A-plus is red
    And I’m live ‘stead of dead
    While they’ve all gone off to their Lord
    I got my medals in the War Against Christmas
    I got them all in that war

  5. qwerty says

    What did you do in the War Against Christmas
    When you shopped at that big boxy store?
    Did you sneer at the clerk,
    The dim-witted jerk,
    Who said, “Happy Holidays?”
    “Our Savior’s the reason
    To celebrate the season
    It’s to Him you should give your praise!”
    Is that what you said in the War Against Christmas
    When you shopped at the big boxy store?

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