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Sep 23 2012

News Site Debates Existence Of Hell. Seriously. In 2012.

I read it just this morning (I will need to make this clear,
But I had to check the calendar to verify the year)
On what claims to be a news site, and a major one, I fear—
They debated the reality of Hell

I thought Hell was merely fiction; just a myth from long ago
An adapted form of Hades, which the Greeks saw down below
For an educated person, this is something you should know
It’s a story that the ancients used to tell

In our modern world, the concept of a Heaven or a Hell
Or creation in a paradise from which our species fell
Is a sign that the believer isn’t thinking very well—
Those are remnants of beliefs from way back when

Or at least that’s how it should be; I was truly shocked to see
In our age of information (and so much of it is free!)
Such an ancient and outdated view—so how, then, could it be
On the home page—yes, today—at CNN?

No, really! Look:

Ah, but on the story’s page itself, the title is a bit less sensationalistic: Different Takes: Should we abandon idea of hell?

(Oh, and given the predictable nature of the comments, I am a bit disappointed in CNN that they didn’t tweak the comments page to read “Abandon all hope, ye who enter”)

13 comments

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  1. 1
    StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    News Site Debates Existence Of Hell. Seriously. In 2012.

    Well there is Venus.

    Plus the eponymous lunar crater.

    So yeah, hell exists – but only because we named places after Jesuit priests and because of the runaway greenhouse effect and closer proximity to our daytime star of ur neighbouring earth-like (But can we really call it that?) planet.

    PS. Pretty sure there’s a place called hell somewhere on Earth too -and not just the Aussie Hay plains.

  2. 2
    StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    See :

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell_(crater)

    Also turns out from this :

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell_(disambiguation)

    That Hell is located in Arizona, California & Michigan ‘mong other places.

    ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hay,_New_South_Wales )

  3. 3
    StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    Er, for those who don’t already know, the Hay plains are a notoriously hot and horrible place here in Oz.

  4. 4
    Corvus illustris

    Next week on CNN: new estimates for number of virgins assigned to jihadist human-bombers vs. car-bombers.

  5. 5
    gAytheist

    Pedant comment here. The correct quotation (translation) of the line from Dante’s Inferno is “Abandon all hope, ye who enter” (Lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch’entrate).

  6. 6
    Cuttlefish

    Fixed, gAytheist. We encourage pedantry around here.

  7. 7
    Nick Gotts

    Next week on CNN: new estimates for number of virgins assigned to jihadist human-bombers vs. car-bombers. – Corvus illustris

    And the week after:
    What will you be reincarnated as? Check out your karma and find out how many legs you will have!

  8. 8
    The Ridger

    “Abandon all hope you who enter here” is a fine translation. The art consists of transferring the meaning of the whole text, not just the individual words, and very often extra words must be added (or subtracted) in the target language in order to preserve the same level of colloquialism, style, or register. I’ve been known to get annoyed when the standard English (which this is) differs in some significant way, but “enter” or “enter here”? That’s trivial.

  9. 9
    Corvus illustris

    An Italian grad student pointed out to me (with demonstration) that “Lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch’entrate” comes out in one long breath in Italian, with the effect of a despairing sigh. Robert Frost: “Poetry is what is lost in translation.”

  10. 10
    Johnny Vector

    And of course there’s Bumpass Hell in Lassen Volcanic National Park.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:InsideBumpassHellWaterColors.JPG

  11. 11
    Argle Bargle

    News Site Debates Existence Of Hell. Seriously. In 2012.

    Anything to take Republicans’ minds off of how badly their presidential wannabee is doing.

  12. 12
    Hercules Grytpype-Thynne

    BTW the “new movie Hellbound?” that apparently furnished the occasion for this article was made by the same people who did Ben Stein’s “Expelled”.

  13. 13
    Hercules Grytpype-Thynne

    … also the Kirk Cameron masterwork Monumental.

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