We’ve opened up our ministry
A mere two weeks ago
And we’re building it by going door to door.
So I’m witnessing to prostitutes—
Like Jesus did, you know—
They’re a group that we’ve neglected, heretofore.
It’s a missionary calling
In the name of Jesus Christ
With additional positions to explore
We discussed a second coming—
Some alternatives were priced—
She assured me that it costs a little more.
I delivered her my message
‘Twas a sermon from the mount
And I told her God forgives her for her sins
I’ve increased my congregation—
She’s increased her bank account—
When you think about it, everybody wins!
What I did, I did for Jesus;
For the future of our church
It’s a duty I’ve been given from above
If you’re looking for religion
Let me help you in your search
Visit Sunday, and I’ll demonstrate God’s love.
Via the Manchester Union Leader, the story of a minister wasting no time:
MANCHESTER — A minister who opened an evangelical Christian church in Pinardville two weeks ago was arrested Wednesday on a prostitution-related charge.
Is two weeks a record? Apparently, the paper knew of this man because they had only recently done a story on the opening of his church.
A recent New Hampshire Union Leader article reported the church is the 34th of the denomination and held its first service Aug. 19.
Oliver said he was aiming to build the church by going door to door and befriending people who aren’t existing churchgoers.
“We want to win the lost of Jesus first,” the article quoted him saying.
Oldest profession, meet the oldest con game.