Headline Muse, 8/30 »« We Hold These Lies To Be Self-Evident…

Oohhhhh….. Mitt.

Oh, Mitt. My in-laws are so happy with your speech. Of course, as Cuttlespouse told me this evening, they’d vote for Hitler if he ran as a Republican.

Lyrics:

He’ll never use a compass
When a weathervane will do;
You can check his past directions
For the way the wind once blew
There’s no permanent position
Which, for money, he won’t bend
To the will of corporations
Cos they’re people too, my friend!

It’s time we had a president
Who will not stand for shit—
So strap your dog to the roof of your car
And let’s hit the road for Mitt!

He passed a law for health care
Which of course he now regrets
He likes to prove his honor
With ten-thousand dollar bets
Abortion is an evil, which
Good people should abhor
In utter contradiction of
The stand he took before!

It’s time we had a president
Who will not stand for shit—
So strap your dog to the roof of your car
And let’s hit the road for Mitt!

Bridge:
Oh beautiful for spacious skies
For amber waves of grain
For candidates who can’t recall
Which years they worked at Bain

His piercing eyes, his shining teeth,
His perfect, manly hair
His mainstream Christian values
And his magic underwear
He’s earned my admiration
Though it strains my common sense—
For taking strong positions, but
On both sides of the fence!

It’s time we had a president
Who will not stand for shit—
So strap your dog to the roof of your car
And let’s hit the road for Mitt!

I still need to record this in the original tune–but really, only to show you how much better this version is.

Yes, from here and here.

Comments

  1. Alverant says

    Not to go Godwin in the first post, but you mean he isn’t? I would think with the public declarations of being christian, inciting religious hatred against an enemy of christianity, demonizing homosexuals, outlawing abortion, starting a war against a peaceful nation, equating loyalty to the party with loyalty to the nation, fighting gun control, et al he’d fit right in with them.

  2. Die Anyway says

    I couldn’t watch. I had the time but not the stomach. I did catch a bit of Ann and Chris the other night. Ann Romney: “Mitt and I have a *real marriage*.” Was that a mean-spirited, anti-gay dig or what? Nastiness does not become you, Ann. As for big Chris, his irony meter is obviously broken. You need a new compass Chris… Yours is pointing north but it’s taking you south. You’re 180 degrees out and you don’t know it.
    Then I caught little snippets of Paul telling his half-truths. At least the network called him out on it. Not vigorously, but better than nothing. And that was all I could take, I
    found an old Steve Carell – Tina Fey movie (Date Night) to watch instead.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>