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Jun 14 2012

BINGO!

So I fired up my search deally, that look through the sites I don’t normally traffic, to find me something to read that I probably wouldn’t have come across all by myself. Sometimes I will find something interesting; sometimes I can find something old and cliched, something I can’t believe has survived the information age (like seeing a horsefly, outdoors, in mid-January, you wonder how it survived). Today, I filled my BINGO card on the very first site.

There is not a single sentence of this essay that has not been refuted a hundred–a thousand times over. Not one. And yet, here they bloom, like dandelions the day after you mow the lawn for the thousandth time.

As most people, I live in the normal world, have a normal family, and live a normal life.

I try to act in a normal way, when someone says “God Bless You” or “God Bless America” or the ever popular season greeting “Merry Christmas.”

If you detected a note of privilege, you are correct.

I thank them and go my way. But every now and then, when I use these colloquialisms in my speech, a person says, “I’m an atheist!”

I am not sure what they mean exactly when they feel that is an acceptable response to a cordial greeting. So just for the remote chance that somebody reading this friendly little article happens to prescribe to the belief that there is no God, then I have some questions for the atheist.

What sort of questions does he have? Get your cards ready!

The anthropologists over the last 200 years, who spent years digging up the more than 4,000 archeological dig sites proving the Bible to be true, are they all lying?

What are the odds that 700 years before Jesus died, a prophet would say that the Messiah would die on a cross when there wasn’t any such form of capitol punishment created at that time?

If evolution says a monkey formed into a man, what are the odds that at the same moment one monkey became one man, that another monkey happened to become a woman and they actually ran into each other?

Is gravity also false? I mean, we can’t see it, just evidence of it.
If the sun was just a few miles farther or closer to the earth, no life would exist.

Temperatures would either be too hot or too cold, science has proven this. Did this happen by chance?

If everything in the world is inorganic and created by accident, how do you explain the conscience?

Why are certain conditions such as murder and lying consistently judged by every civilization if society makes up their own conscience?

Since you believe that there is no God, this means your life is an accident with no meaning. Are you willing to honestly admit that your life is meaningless?

Sadly, many children die every day. After they die, tell me where they are. Please don’t be wrong about it either because it would be cruel to mislead their grieving parents.

BINGO! No, really, these questions! I don’t think there is one there that I have not addressed, in verse! (I’ll give you one example in a bit.) The only thing missing is the “it takes more faith to be an atheist” and the “Pascal’s Wager” gambits. Oops, wait.

I could ask thousands of more questions such as these that would absolutely demand answers for atheism to be right.

Let’s face it, it takes much more amount of faith to be an atheist than a Christian. In fact, it would take so much, that it really wouldn’t be faith at all, it would be foolishness.

Honestly, seek the Lord and you will find Him. Give your life to Jesus and you will find that he is real.

Don’t gamble with eternity. If the atheist is right and there is no God, as Christians we’ve lost nothing.

We have lived good lives. But if the atheist is wrong and there is a God, which we as Christians put our faith in. There is eternity to pay for being wrong.

The Bible describes it as a place of torment, separated from God, forever, no way out. The stakes are way too high and important to take any chances whatsoever.

Jesus said to seek Him with all your heart and He will be there for you!

Come to Christ and be saved. Start your life over with Jesus as your Lord and Savior.

All you need to do is invite Him into your heart and then live for Him.

DOUBLE BINGO! Pastor Jim, I beg you, have the strength of faith to challenge your beliefs–take a course on Biology! Take a stroll through an evolutionary biology textbook! (too much?) Read up on the history of the Bible! I tell my students–when you really want something to be true, do your best to prove it wrong. You do not want to believe something because you want to; you want to believe it because it is true. The man who told me that was my pastor, decades ago. Pastor Jim, do you have the faith required to challenge your beliefs? (Experience makes me doubt it.)

Dear readers, feel free to go and comment. Sometimes, you need to practice on the three-inch putts, or your game gets rusty.

Since my favorite (G-4 on my card) was the separate evolution of males and females from apes, I give you … Lonely Percy.

Percy would wander for years at a time;
He was terribly sad and incredibly lonely—
Percy was looking for love, but too bad;
The world had, so far, evolved male creatures only.

Percy was restless, and anxiously watching,
He knew what he wanted; he wanted a wife.
(Although, since the female had not yet evolved,
He had never seen women in all of his life!)

For long generations, his forefathers sought
For some womanly tenderness, softness, and mercy,
But cold evolution denied them their wish;
Now the burden was borne by poor, motherless Percy.

From Grand-dad to Father, from Father to Son,
Generations would pass, without calling for sex.
I haven’t a clue how they managed to do it;
The method, it seems, is a little complex.

Percy has walked tens of thousands of miles
In search of a hopeful mutation or two.
You see, he has parts that he thinks may be useful,
Which haven’t, as yet, had a damned thing to do.

Far away, on the shores of a vast, distant ocean,
A small population is camped by the water,
Where all by themselves, they just sit there evolving,
Granny to Mother, and Mother to Daughter.

Someday, perhaps, as he wanders and wanders,
Percy could find, with a great deal of luck,
He may stumble upon this remote population,
And finally end up with someone to love.

7 comments

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  1. 1
    Randomfactor

    Forget poor Percy, consider poor Cain. Only one woman on the whole planet, and she’s his mom. Close, but no Freudian cigar?

  2. 2
    kagekiri

    “Please don’t be wrong about it either because it would be cruel to mislead their grieving parents.”

    Yup, because false hope and lies are so much better than just honestly grieving with the parents.

    Hell, it doesn’t even give everyone hope, it says “fuck you” to parents of non-Christian kids.

    Those dead kids this asshole is worried about? The Christian view is that God killed them, and THEY DESERVED IT no matter how horrible it was, and they’ll BURN FOREVER if they didn’t believe, and literally everyone deserves to die and be tortured as much as those kids will be. REAL comforting.

  3. 3
    niftyatheist, perpetually threadrupt

    Cuttlefish, one would not believe it if one did not see it. The stupidity beggars belief.

    Randomfactor, wait wait! Don’t you know about the fuzzy single verse transition from Adam, Eve, Cain and Abel first/only four people on earth, to a suddenly populated earth with bustling cities (Cain built one of ‘em!). That bible – it’s amazing!

  4. 4
    Cubist

    I’ve posted a long fisking of the ‘good’ Reverend’s essay. Can someone else confirm that the reply from ‘Quentin Long’ is visible to them? Just, you know, making sure…

  5. 5
    Cuttlefish

    As of this writing, Cubist, I see your comment. Whether it lasts or not, Dog only knows.

  6. 6
    Ryan

    @Cubist, from your ‘Quentin Long’ comment on the story’s site:

    “From where I sit, it looks like your efforts at proselytizing are pretty much tailor-made to gather the stupid and ignorant into Christ’s flock, and repulse from that flock people who actually know what they’re talking about. I don’t really see a problem with this, because, hey, I’m an atheist; if religious people want to make religion stupid, that’s fine by me!
    “You, however, are not an atheist, Mr. Frankeas. Do you see a problem with making religion stupid? If you do, perhaps you might want to educate yourself on the many topics you are, at present, seriously ignorant of.”

    I must admit, I greatly enjoyed the way you summed things up, as I quoted here.

    I can see many Christians likely receiving your entire message as intemperate (since it challenges their beliefs it must be inappropriate, right?), but a more fair way of putting it would be to say you were uncompromising with ignorant claims. It is even-handed, only as forceful as is warranted by the ignorance on display, and above all accurate. I would never have the time to write something that long, but I’m glad someone does. Good reply.

  7. 7
    Cubist

    As of this a couple minutes ago, my comment is still up there — complete with a second comment (also rationality-favoring) after it.

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