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Jan 14 2012

AAAaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh……

Got up before 5 this morning, and drove 13+ hours. Still feeling it.

Watching New England dissect the Broncos. As a displaced Browns fan, I love to watch the Broncos lose. As a displaced Browns fan, I know never to count the Broncos out. They may have Tebow pointing skyward, but any Browns fan can tell you, Elway made a bargain with Satan long ago.

And there’s a damned Gideon’s bible in the hotel room drawer.

3 comments

  1. 1
    Markita Lynda—threadrupt

    That’s an epic drive–it’s about my limit. I, too, am watching the Patriots trouncing the Broncos, currently 42 – 7. Tbo needs to pray harder. You drove 13 hours to watch a football game? Or you’re happily ensconced in the hotel watching football.

    You can always cross out a few sections of the Bible and note, “Added later.”
    * The tale of Philip running to the tomb and finding the grave cloths, is a later addition.
    * So is Mark 16, 9-20, of the apostles meeting Jesus after the Crucifixion, speaking with him, and watching him ascend into Heaven.
    * 1 Corinthians 14:34, women should keep silent
    * 1 Timothy 2:11-12, women should learn in silence

    Or index it:
    * Genocide, Numbers 31
    * Sexual slavery, Numbers 31:18
    * Human sacrifice, 2 Samuel 21
    * Divorce allowed, Deuteronomy 24:1-2
    * The Fate of Judas, Matthew 27:3-4
    * The Other Fate of Judas, Acts 1:15-19
    * Zombie outbreak, Matthew 27:51-54

    And don’t forget to quote Stephen F. Roberts: “I contend we are both atheists, I just believe in one fewer god than you do.”

    Worlds that don’t appear in the Bible:
    * The word ‘trinity’ appears nowhere in the bible. Neither does Rapture, or Second Coming, or Original Sin. If they are still unfazed (or unphrased), by this, then add Omniscience, Omnipresence, Supernatural, Transcendence, Afterlife, Deity, Divinity, Theology, Monotheism, Missionary, Immaculate Conception, Christmas, Christianity, Evangelical, Fundamentalist, Methodist, Catholic, Pope, Cardinal, Catechism, Purgatory, Penance, Transubstantiation, Excommunication, Dogma, Chastity, Unpardonable Sin, Infallibility, Inerrancy, Incarnation, Epiphany, Sermon, Eucharist, the Lord’s Prayer, Good Friday, Doubting Thomas, Advent, Sunday School, Dead Sea, Golden Rule, Moral, Morality, Ethics, Patriotism, Education, Atheism, Apostasy, Conservative (Liberal is in), Capital Punishment, Monogamy, Abortion, Pornography, Homosexual, Lesbian, Fairness, Logic, Republic, Democracy, Capitalism, Funeral, Decalogue, or Bible. [Dan Barker, Losing Faith in Faith]

    Edits to Deuteronomy:
    * Some scholars who have used the Dead Sea Scrolls and the Septuagint to reconstruct the authentic version of the verse say that “children of Israel” was stuck in as a replacement for “sons of El.” With that lost phrase restored, a verse that was cryptic suddenly makes sense: El—the most high god, Elyon—divided the world’s people into ethnic groups and gave one group to each of his sons. And Yahweh, one of those sons, was given the people of Jacob. Apparently at this point in Israelite history (and there’s no telling how long ago this story originated) Yahweh isn’t God, but just a god—and a son of God, one among many.

    OK, I’m getting carried away. Have fun on your trip!

  2. 2
    Cuttlefish

    Although I would happily drive 13 hours to watch the Broncos lose (and much longer to watch them lose to the Browns), that was not the purpose of this trip.

    Thanks for the list! If I have time tomorrow morning, I will get out my post-it notes and leave helpful advice for the next person in this hotel room. For right now, though, I might have to watch the rest of the game through closed eyelids. Looooooooooooooooooooooong day.

  3. 3
    F [i'm not here, i'm gone]

    Sleep well, dear Cuttlefish. May the Browns wipe the gridiron with other teams in your dreams.

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