The Ballad Of Cranston, RI


Dedicated to oppressed majorities everywhere.

Come, people of Cranston! Let’s occupy the schools!
Reminding the judge that majority rules!
It says in the bible that atheists are fools—
We can’t let it end in this manner!
We have to defend it, and also our Lord,
From the menacing might of the atheist horde—
The rights of all Christians are being ignored;
We must go to the wall for our banner!

For justice! For freedom! For Cranston! For God!
It’s time for our voice to be heard!
So bring out your pitchforks and torches and ropes
Cos the mob is protecting God’s word!

The bible, of course, is the source of our laws
So banner-removers, I think you should pause;
The way we interpret the establishment clause,
It prohibits the banner’s removal!
The community voted, they want it to stay
And these god-fearing folks wouldn’t lead us astray
The blind scales of justice, they surely must weigh
The majority’s Christian approval

For justice! For freedom! For Cranston! For God!
It’s time for our voice to be heard!
So bring out your pitchforks and torches and ropes
Cos the mob is protecting God’s word!

Come, people of Cranston, we can’t acquiesce!
We’ve got to assemble and take on this mess
So I’ve helpfully posted young Jessica’s address
We can meet there to find a solution
It shouldn’t be hard; hell, she’s only a kid
Which is why, when the atheist did what she did
She showed her true colors, and cowardly hid
In the words of our own Constitution!

For justice! For freedom! For Cranston! For God!
It’s time for our voice to be heard!
So bring out your pitchforks and torches and ropes
Cos the mob is protecting God’s word!

Come, people of Cranston! Let’s occupy the schools!
Reminding the judge that majority rules!
It says in the bible that atheists are fools—
We can’t let it end in this manner!
We have to defend it, and also our Lord,
From the menacing might of the atheist horde—
The rights of all Christians are being ignored;
We must go to the wall for our banner!

Related posts: As Predicted (The Cranston Ruling)
A win for the bravest girl in Rhode Island
Fox News commenters hate America

Comments

  1. Cuttlefish says

    Gwynnyd–it initially did, but then the verse outgrew it. I think I need to advertise for a songwriter–Gilbert, Seeking Sullivan, or something like that.

    This was originally a Dylan knockoff, so that’s the feel I was going for. Could be Pete Seeger or Woody Guthrie, too.

    (Having written those names, I think I need to go lie down until I feel a little less pretentious.)

  2. Salmo says

    I definitely got Dylan out of it. You can insert a lot of it comfortably into “The Times, They are a-Changin'”.

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