“I thank thee, God, for buttocks firm”


One more from the “Rejected Canon” (I can’t help myself–they’re like potato chips–I can’t stop!). This one will be considered offensive by some who defend the nastier bits of organized religion. Consider yourself warned.

I thank thee, God, for buttocks firm
For skin of alabaster
For pouting lips
Eyes dark as pips
Which rouse me all the faster

I thank thee, God, for rosy cheeks
For slender, active fingers
For winsome smile
Where, for a while,
My roving glance still lingers

I thank thee, God, for perfect voice,
A clear and pure soprano
The angels long
To hear a song
In forte or piano

I thank thee, God, the Bishop said,
For this small piece of heaven
So dear to me
Too bad that he
Will soon be turning seven

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