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Dec 04 2009

The Digital Pack-Rat, volume 21

It is, as it always is this time of year, approaching the ragged end of the semester. I am inundated with grading, so it is time to collect the detritus of blog comments, assemble them together, and pretend to post. If I find the time, I may come back and actually add links, but not now!

Also, I know the last “pack rat” post was #19. So was the one before it, so this #21 is the proper number.

Re: Uganda’s proposal to execute HIV-positive individuals, and impose life imprisonment sentences on gays.

It may seem cruel; it may seem strange,
These cold, barbaric tactics.
But think of all the souls thus saved
From using prophylactics!

We could be wrong; perhaps we purge
And yet the virus stays–
At least we’re doing something, right?
And what the hell, they’re gays.

Re: the Deep Rifts in atheism–

The thing about atheist creatures
Is, we’re willing to challenge our teachers;
Don’t call it a schism,
It’s mere criticism:
These things, they’re not bugs–these are features.

Re: a Godwinization of evolution…

Your misattribution claims mean evolution
As sole inspiration for Hitler;
What poor execution! Its small contribution
Could probably not have been littler!

Religion’s pollution, and claimed persecution,
Contributed more, don’t you know?
The right institution to grant absolution
And Hitler was ready to go!

Re: the eating of live cephalopods (!)

I’ll admit there are meals that have certain appeals,
And some, I should say, that excite me.
But if any here wish a live cuttlefish dish…
Bite me.

Re: creationist logic and middle fingers—

Stupidity lingers; we see it in fingers,
Which clearly could not be descended from fins!
They’re perfect, and Godly, and from this we oddly
Conclude that the myth of the goatherders wins!

And of course, the return of the son of the bride of… Wafergate.

Desecration of a cracker is uncivil disobedience
The son of god, remember, is the whole of its ingredients!
You tried to make a point, but with unsuitable expedience–
It was your right, but surely you were wrong!

The epitome of sacred, you reduced to mere profanity;
One wonders if you’ve kept the merest sliver of humanity!
You’re clearly out of touch with any form of christianity,
As on the road to hell you trot along!

Our point of view is crystal-clear; our pithy editorial
Accuses you of crimes unseen since time long immemorial,
Perhaps the worst since humankind first ceased to be arboreal
Or since the first prokaryotic cell!

And so, Professor Myers, I will say with all sincerity
In case you choose to sin like this with any regularity,
I wish you strength and perseverance, boldness and temerity–
You’ll need it, cos you’re going straight to hell!

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